I cried in front of every percussionist in the high school band today (and the bass player). Intimidation sux.

Question

I went to band camp today thinking I was going to play bass drum like I wanted to, because I wanted to stay away from keyboard percussion because it quite literally drives me insane. I always feel like dying when all the high school kids around me are perfect at playing all these exercises and scales and I CANNOT do it. I have tried being patient. It failed. But I was put back in the pit (marching band) and have to play keyboard percussion again. So I was trying really hard and in the middle of it, I just completely broke down and cried. And I never cry in public, especially in front of fifteen percussionists and a hot bass player. I hate intimidation, and that's why I wanted bass drum so badly because I thought I was good at it, but apparently I'm "not ready for it." I've never been a strong person. I'm unbelievably weak, actually. I also suffer from serious depression, so I think I'm going to go literally insane soon if I don't figure something out. Does anyone know what I should do?

But I have a strong passion for music, especially percussion, so I will feel even worse if I quit, like a complete failure.

Answer 1

I've been playing drums a loooong time. This is the first time I have ever heard somebody want the bass drum spot soooo bad! I was usually one of the more "perfect" drummers 1st chair whatever you want to call it. But through high school the competition made the music lose a lot of its joy. And I'd feel sick about competing and had this constant feeling of needing to defend "my turf". Now later in life I'm really loving it again. I just share that to let you know that the crazy feelings around that kind of competition goes on in everyone involved except for maybe a few very put together kids with supportive parents.

You probably feel humiliated for having put out so much vulnerability to all those other kids. But really good for you in letting it out. Keep going for the position you really want. All I can recommend is practice practice practice. Get out records and play along. Good luck!

Answer 2

I played the Mellophone in band...2 decades ago, but I still remember trying out to be drum major. I worked my TAIL off practicing for this title, and also helped a couple of friends that really SUCKED so that they could try out too. The end result... my friends became the drum majors, and I went back to playing my horn. I was so upset, cried like a baby...everyone told me before tryouts that I was sure to get the spot too. I even had one of our band directors tell me how good I was, but in the end...the spot was given to my friends. I survived, and my Senior year in band was so much fun...because I practiced that mellophone so much ..became 1st chair, and won a few medals in some of the solo and ensembles contests.

I always admired the percussion players, and if you can play the keyboard...you can play anything!!! Stick with it, enjoy band...because you will always have these memories to look back on..and they will be all wonderful memories too!!! NO MORE TEARS!!! :)

Answer 3

You have to calm down. We all go through limit-situations, I just had mine few days ago. You need to get to know yourself and what you're capable of and do not let the others to decide that for you. And most of all if it's passion, you should be more patient and chill and try your best. Probably you are a stressed person which is a normal thing nowadays but you have to learn not to say no to your opportunities, but to live them fully and to learn from every experience, to be ok with everything you've done, no regrets...and this thing it's something that you learn in time. Now go out there and show them who you really are!

Answer 4

I'm proud of you for breaking down. Showing vulnerability and crying. You should be, too. You are human and when you show a human side - more people will be able to relate and thus - like and 'get' you. So, all is good. Sometimes it takes people decades to get to the point you got to in this scenario. Good for you be in touch with yourself and in the moment. This is not depression - it is sadness for the frustration of the moment. Which means you are REAL. Hallelujah. May you be a wonderful inspiration for someone else in your shoes one of these days!

Answer 5

1. You are not a failure.
2. Life is fine, the way u look at it isn't
3. You're young, and you really haven't figured much out yet
4. Go to bed, and get some sleep... you've got tomorow to think about!!!

Answer 6

i replaced into in band (stay overall performance and marching seasons) for all six years of junior and severe college. First chair flute/piccolo for all however the 1st of those years. i replaced into additionally in Drama club. i replaced into the common nerd who would particularly DIE than have something to do with activities stupidity. I enjoyed marching season different than for having to attend the frikken soccer video games. Being from Louisiana in spite of the indisputable fact that, a minimum of we've been given to march contained in the recent Orleans Mardi Gras parades. in no way for a 2nd did I evaluate starting to be a member of band in college, because it would advise attending greater soccer video games and that i had had greater effective than sufficient of that, thank you. In 5 years of school I in no way attended a single carrying adventure. THANK GOD. I desire they might ban varsity activities from all severe colleges, colleges and universities so as that their admission standards are not decreased via a team of human beings who via in large don't have even exceeded junior severe. i comprehend there are some exceptions, yet dammit, if the sole way you will get into college is activities, you do no longer BELONG IN college. My college, and hence the degree I earned from it, is devalued each and every time they decrease admission standards to offer the subsequent knuckle-dragging basketball "famous individual" a scholarship. particularly, they might desire to permit educational institutions instruct human beings and have activities colleges the place this is not any longer something yet activities and you do no longer even would desire to have the skill to spell your call in case you do no longer desire to.

Answer 7

If being in the band troubles you that much, maybe you should drop out of band and do some other school activity.

Answer 8

Sorry about how things happened today. Keep with it and you will be rewarded.