Should I be annoyed?

Question

IS this annoying and lacking tact?
I recently bought a used BMW, new to me but a fun sporty car that I can now have with a successful new job. I had a short list of five cars but chose this one. A couple weeks later I received this email from my mom asking me for information about the exact same cars on my list but one year newer than my car. Isn't that a bit lacking in tact? My mom has always been jealous and competative of me. I thought she had grown up but I guess not?

Answer 1

Of course you should be annoyed, but the dynamics between a parent and child oscillate as to who is more mature throughout your relationship.

As a parent, I can't help myself from being a jerk in some situations. Tonight is my 16 year old daughter's prom night and Dad's can be so immature. Then on the other hand, ten minutes after playing the buffoon to my daughter, I am on the phone with my 80 year old father, being the reasonable one. Tomorrow I will be mature with my daughter and revert back to 18 with my father. I don't see this as a problem. Heck, I even see it as normal.

Go see the movie "Parenthood" .It's a pretty lousy comedy with Steve Martin, but it has this 5 minutes of brillance when the grandmother is gives a wonderful little speech. Honestly it is worth watching the movie just for those 5 minutes. It really explains how there are people who like roller coasters and people who like merry go rounds. If you like merry go rounds, everyone stays in their little niche and behaves just the way they are supposed to. If you like roller coasters. then you realize that life is a bunch of ups and downs and gut wrenching twists and turns and you learn to love it all, even when it is scary.

It's wonderful that you have the good job and that you feel good about yourself and are willing to reward yourself for your accomplishments. You should also reward yourself for being a leader because someone wants to be like you, wants to emulate you; someone holds you up as the person to beat or to be more like.

Hey it's kinda cool that you are your mom's role model in this respect. Think of how it would make you feel if it was your daughter who felt this way about you.

Once you do that, hopefully it will just roll off your back or make you feel a little bit proud. Don't we all want to be someone that our parents approve of? Not only does your mom approve of you but she wants to be more like you. So be upset, but ya gotta be a bit amused by it too.

Answer 2

It is annoying and lacking tact, but she's your mother. Do what is right and really, does it matter that she wants to drive a car that is one year newer than yours?
Yeah, she'd being ignorant but don't ge annoyed over it because you're wasting your anger on something stupid too! Be mad at something more tragic, like world hunger, war, disease, etc.

Answer 3

Honey, my mother is the same way. She couldn't ever seem to get over on people when she was young and unpopular, she has decided to get over on her own kids. All women are evil, hon. Some just hide it better with good looks.
Tell her that you are having a bunch of modifications done to it, and that it is ridiculously expensive. send her a pic of a super nice one, that isn't actually yours, that she will realize she can't show up.

Answer 4

It sounds to me that you are the one with the problem. Your mother asks you for information and you see it as simply a dig at you. Grow up. Have you ever read anything by Albert Ellis? Nobody can MAKE you feel anything....you do that yourself. You can choose to see her request as value of your opinion and your research....or you can act like a spoiled child and get miffed. The interpretation is up to YOU.

Answer 5

Lie to her and tell her a year older.Then have the last laugh after she buys her new old car.And yes,that would be annoying and very tactful.

Answer 6

I would be annoyed too, shes your mother, i mean come on. I really have nothing else to say accept that is sad.