and i am 17 years old in a Catholic HS. I've told some friends (maybe 10?) none of family knows. i'm sure of it and im okay with it .. just that, everyone has a gf/bf and i'm getting lonely. all the guys my age (gay ones) are horny and just want one-night-stands (just like the straight guys LOL)..But i want more then that, i want a real relationship, and its so hard because unlike heterosexual people, you cant "advertise" yourself anywhere. i dont know any other gay people. no one has "come out" at my school.
i feel like i will be lonely forever and never find my perfect guy. and even if i do, there are so many loopholes!
a) getting married. id love to! but it would be akward with family (unaccepting of gays- they dont know i am)
c) sex: i am not very feminine- im in the middle -- but i would definitely be the "bottom" during sex. in heterosexual sex, the man being in control and on "top" is ASSUMED, being gay. what if i get into a relationship only to find he is a bottom too
2007-04-28 16:17:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As you get older you will become more comfortable telling others of your sexual attraction. Very few people end up in a long term relationship with someone they knew when they were 17, so don't try to rush things too much. Once you are comfortable telling your family you will, and although they may not understand they will most likely accept you for who you are. Don't worry too much about top or bottom since that preference is rarely 100% and can change over experiences and time.
You are at an age that you have a tendency to worry; when older people say that, it's not because they do not understand... it's because they remember living through it.
2007-04-28 16:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol that is exactly what girls go through with guys. Girls are looking for love and most guys just want to score. Not all guys but quite a few. Do what we do, keep looking. As for being gay all I can say is "you are what you are". You have only one life so live it the way you want and forget about everyone Else's opinions of how they want you to be. Your parents had no guarantee on how you would turn out and they took a chance. They have lived their life the way they wanted now it's your turn. Do what makes you happy and take it slow you are much to young worrying about getting married. And by the way,what makes you think that girls are always on the bottom? I'm sure you will have this all figured out before you marry your partner. Slow down cowboy!!
2007-04-28 16:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl0521 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a potientially gay female, and (almost) completely identify w/ your circumstance and fears. After-all, i live in the South-East (the Bible-belt)- therefore, even some of my friends 'round here thinks i'm damned!
Anyway, lonliness is a big part of gayness; at least at first. And, i'm going through that. But, my advice to the both of us is to join some online groups, get to know folks in diff. places, and thus try to find some "like-minded" peeps to "hang with". On-line or off-line, it's still social bonding.
So, be careful, but don't worry. Maybe your dating will be a bit uncoventional, but based on your words, i can tell you are very genuine. In other words, you're gonna make some lucky person very happy someday.
Also, as far as your troubles w/ comming-out to family, my advice wouuld be to visit hrc.org, or something like that, and find some official "coming-out" tips. You may as-well try a few gay forums too.
Good luck, buddy!
2007-04-28 16:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by ABC123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on guy you are in High School! Do not look for long term relationship right know wait until you are settled into a job and where you plan on living. One steep at a time do not make the problem to big right now. much better to take small steps right now. I would not tell a bunch of people right now about being gay, for one thing it is none of there business.
All the best for you
2007-04-28 16:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are frustrated. Have you looked for support groups on line? You need to talk to others who have come out and seek their guidance and help in this department. Straight people dont understand what you're going through, at least the ones that are closed minded. I wish you all the best and know that all will be okay.
Life is too short to worry about what other's think of you...what a waste of time! Just do good in your life, that's all that God really ask of us--be good, be honest and life a good life. It's really simple.
=)
2007-04-28 16:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by Heather L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK...from experience...
Right now make the sex thing secondary...please!!!
At your age there are a million guys waiting to lead you on and do you, then leave you for the next gig.
You need to develop a close friendship first.
If a guy wants to bed you right away...steer clear!
That part of the gay lifestyle is unhealthy and extremely dangerous.
I grew up with an abusive father and was starved for the love of a man...any man.
I got used several times until I woke up and started to think more of myself.
You will NOT be lonely forever, although you probably feel like it...I did...I know.
But be careful and wait it out until you find someone who loves you the right way, and not just to use your young body to satisfy their lust. good luck e-mail me if u wish
2007-04-28 16:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by Paul 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you remind me of myself. I went to a Caholic all boys high school and was closeted the whole time. But I did enjoy the locker room. Is there a local LGBT center in your area with a youth program? That's a good way to get involved.
I'm guessing your actual question is your last line? Well I guess one of you will have to take the plunge and be a Top sometimes, or use toys.
2007-04-28 16:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by dnnzak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on if you're top or bottom...well I guess it doesn't matter which one you are you just need to know to always wear condoms and use a water base lubricant. If you're bottom douche before to make sure you're clean .
2016-05-21 03:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of gay men out there for you doll, dont worry, you will find that special someone =]. If your family is unexcepting of gays do you think it would change once you come out to your parents? Dont let anyone bring you down in our society theyre just jealous =]
2007-04-28 17:09:43 · answer #9 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gay and I'm 14 I sometimes feel the same way too all the ones I know really want is sex (yes at 14 years old ...) It would really help if there's some advice maybe you should email me =D?
2007-04-28 16:23:51 · answer #10 · answered by Yoshi! =] 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋