Should i add anything or change anything up in this story?

Question

I loved the way I spent my Solar System Vacation. Mars seemed like the perfect choice when I got there. I can remember when I first boarded the space train. How I thought maybe I should have went to Jupiter maybe Saturn. But I Thought again maybe I might hit one of Saturn’s moons, maybe ill get sucked up by Jupiter’s big red spot. Mars has no moons and no red spots the whole thing is red. Thinking real hard why I chose mars was because it didn’t take that long to travel to. Since earth is the 3rd planet from the sun mars was the 4th, meaning it was right next in line. 1.52 AU from the sun I figured it the perfect choice.

A day on Mars, which is known as a "sol," consists of 24 hours, just like a day on Earth. Each hour contains 60 minutes; each minute 60 seconds. Ten days of nonstop fun I can say I was pooped just when every day turned to night. The plants there are really cool because there isn’t any. No trees to run into while playing football. No spike bushes no anything, just a whole bunch of hills and holes. While there we took the dune buggy out the hole we found it in. and rode on it like a skateboard.

If I could describe mars as a place on earth, I would have to say a desert would be most fitting for a comparison. The atmosphere on Mars consists of 95% carbon dioxide, 3% nitrogen, 1.6% argon, and contains traces of oxygen and water. As seen from another planet the mars atmosphere makes it seem reddish in color. While standing on mars it makes the sky look tawny.

Answer 1

"maybe I should have GONE to Jupiter, maybe Saturn."

You wouldn't get sucked into the Big Red Spot from above. It's a hurricane. It sucks from the ground upward.

Mars has two Moons. It has no red spots, but it does have a lot of dust storms.

You need a semicolon after "spots"

Capitalize "Sun" and "Mars," and put a comma between them. Spell out "fourth."

A day on Mars is slightly longer than an Earth day, about 7% longer. "...there AREN'T any" plants on Mars. Comma after "bushes," colon after "anything." A dune buggy is more like a car, and you couldn't ride it like a skateboard. You could say that you swiped the Sojourner probe, which is about the right size.

Mars looks red because of the iron oxide in the soil. Its atmosphere is transparent like ours. The sky looks reddish, not tawny, which is the color of lions, because of particles of sand suspended in the atmosphere by the sand storms. It is sort of like the grey air of Los Angeles smog that is caused by particulate pollution.

You should probably bring up hiking Olympus Mons, an extinct volcano 12 miles high that has a base as big as the state of Montana, and Valles Marineris a canyon that is 450 miles across and over 2000 miles long. Olympus Mons is the tallest mountain in the Solar system, and Valles Marineris is the longest canyon. The tallest mountain on Earth is only 5 miles high, and Valles Marineris is almost as long as the US is wide.