My husband of 2 1/2 years left me bcause he said that I cheated on him because I carpooled to a training site with a male co-worker, Besides all of this he has been verbally abusive during our entire marriage. He always would threatend to leave an I would always cry and beg him to stay. Not this time I was glad his butt left because I am tired of the abuse. I do love him a lot and want our marriage to work out but he need to change his ways for the kids and me. He only took a few of his things so I packed the rest of his stuff and put it by the door. It is hard being strong but I have to do this for me and my kids. Do you think I am doing the right thing?
2007-04-28 16:06:59 · 12 answers · asked by shelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, you are. I left my hubby of 10 years in October hoping he'd see the abuse he was putting me through and I understand where you're coming from, believe me. Just be prepared that he may not change and may not come to you claiming to be a changed man....and if he does come to you claiming to be changed man, actions speak louder than words.
You will find yourself on a very lonely road. I've been on it for 6 months. I have support through my friends and parents (get all the support you can and learn to ACCEPT HELP because you will need it), but there are times when I feel so lonely and all I want to do is talk to him and try to make things right between us. Don't back down. You have to let him do the realizing. Being lonely is not a reason to go back to an abusive relationship. I know how hard it is to be strong, but your kids need to a see a strong mother who will NOT be treated that way. Especially if you have a boy, they need to see this is not the way to treat your spouse and it should not be stood for or taken lightly.
You are doing the right thing. I applaud your decision and offer you hope that you are not the only one going through it. Good luck to you!
2007-04-28 16:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your husband has issues. It seems to me why he left you was definitely not a good enough reason. For some reason men like to feel in control. and he had you right were he wanted you. By you showing him that you don't care if he leave, this will leave him wondering why all of a sudden you don't care and then you'll have him right where you want him. So to answer your question, not only are you doing the right thing but a wonderful thing. Just keep your kids best interest in mind.
2007-04-28 23:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by Laydee C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing. If he verbally abuses you then you have to be strong for you and for your children. It is important and honorable to work on your marriage but you have to also think of your own health and your kids. Be strong and grateful that you have the courage to help yourself and your kids. My only advise a mother of one whose husband walked out almost three years ago, surround yourself with good friends and family and if you don't have anyone right now find those people. They are out there. Good luck.
2007-04-28 23:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by fisherworld75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!! I know this has to be hard but you don't want your kids growing up thinking that it is okay to treat their spouse like he has treated you. Be strong and stand your ground. If he wants to come back, don't accept a promise that he will change, tell him that he and you need to go to counseling so that you can make sure he will see the error of his ways and take steps in the right direction. I wish you all the best!!
2007-04-29 00:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one deserves to be verbally abused by their spouse, and the kids do not need to bear witness to that type of behavior. Maybe you two should seek counseling to determine if you can save your marriage. Divorce should be your last option.
2007-04-28 23:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by Lele44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl.....I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and taking control of your life and not letting your husband run all over you...
I think emotional abuse is the worst thing that you can do in a relationship...Your kids deserve a better example...Stick to your decision...he walked away NOT you...
2007-04-28 23:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by PRETTY N PINK 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately you are the only one who can decide if you are doing what is best for you. But you shouldn't have to live your life with an abusive spouse, that is not something that you want your children growing up to see. If you didn't cheat and explained that to him maybe he was the one hiding something.
2007-04-28 23:15:15 · answer #7 · answered by mandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, if you honestly did not cheat on him then he hasn't the right to treat you that way.To do this around his own kids is wrong and very selfish to only think of himself.Some
times being strong is all we have to lean on in times of pain.
When my husband left me that was one thing I kept ed saying
to myself,I am strong and I can get through this.
2007-04-28 23:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is verbally abusive, be glad he left. No one deserves such a mate, man nor woman.
If you DID cheat on him, consider yourselves even.
Now that he's gone, concentrate on doing what's best for you and the kids. If he wants to be there for y'all's kids and wants visitation rights, be accommodating, especially if he hasn't been verbally abusive to them. Unless you can prove he's been abusive to them, you can't deny him the right to see the children.
2007-04-28 23:24:52 · answer #9 · answered by brotherb95 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're doing the right thing. No one needs to be with an abuser.
2007-04-28 23:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋