I have been with my fiance for about 6 years now and have been engaged for 1 1/2 years. I am currently in the AF Reserve and i am traveling a lot. I've been deployed for 6 months now and have only seen her once in the passed 6 months. When I am done with this deployment I am probably going to be going on another long term deployment and i am really doubting wheter or not I want to continue my relationship with my fiance. Being alone in a different place is really hard sometimes and I can't always fly her out to be with me. I don't want to keep her hanging while I am away all the time because i'm not sure how long I am going to be away from home.
We love eachother very much but i think it's totally unfair to both of us to keep eachother waiting. I am also meeting women in the places I am in, not for sex, but just talking and getting to know them and I'm finding myself doubting wether or not i am making the right choice by staying with my fiance.
2007-04-28 15:10:02 · 20 answers · asked by blkdrgn96 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not go ahead and get married? She's been with you long enough to know what the life of a military wife is like. If she's already shown a willingness to stick with you - stick with her; make that commitment and marry her.
2007-04-28 15:13:32 · answer #1 · answered by wibelle37 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Realize that it is YOU who is doubting your commitment to her, not the other way around. If you feel you can't be loyal to her because you "meet" all these other women, then break it off. It isn't fair to her. Obviously if she had any problems with you being away, she wouldn't have stayed with you for this long.
My husband's currently on an 18 month deployment and it is hard, but both of us are commited to our marriage and we know where we're at. If you don't have this level of understanding about the situation, it's better to just let her go.
2007-04-28 15:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there are legit reasons to leave her, then yes. However, being deployed isn't a good enough reason at all. She's probably sitting at home thinking of you day and night, praying that you'll be alright, and why? Because she loves you.
You're only doubting your relationship because you're away. You're also making it extremely more difficult on yourself by talking to other women. Stop doing that. If you love her and care about how she is feeling, then stop talking to other women, because they're the reason you're having doubts.
Sit around and think of her instead. It'll get better eventually. She wants to marry you, she's putting her heart on the line for you, and you're considering breaking it.
Please, make the right decision.
Best of luck
2007-04-28 15:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Brin 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you two need to talk...i think you should just be honest and tell her the truth: the time you spend apart is causing you to doubt. don't tell her about meeting other women because she may not understand that and assume you're cheating and/or looking for a way to leave the relationship. Get her opinion on things...your future together, the relationship as it is now, and how you're getting ready to leave again. See how she's been feeling, because i'm sure it's hard on her, too. It has to be a decision you guys need to make together. Good luck.
2007-04-28 15:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by Elle M. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was wondering how long it was gonna take for you to get down to the real truth. If you can't be faithful to her then you need to tell her just that instead of her believing that you have her interest at heart. Let her know about the non-sex women. While you are writing this... did it dawn on you that you really want out and you just need people to tell you so you can feel better? Just remember, THE GRASS ISN'T ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. 6 YEARS IS A LONG TIME FOR YOU TO DECIDE TO BREAK HER HEART OVER YOUR FREEDOM AND WITH THE SAME BREATH, YOU SAY YOU LOVE HER. WHERE IS THE LOVE?
2007-04-28 15:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I think you just answered your own question. You said that you are doubting whether you want to continue your relationship and you are meeting women and doubting whether you are making the right choice by staying with your fiance. If you 'love each other very much' you wouldn't have these doubts. Time to take your emotional pulse here and ask yourself if this relationship is the one you want for the long run or if these women you are meeting are offering something more to you. You have your answer, you don't need us. Thanks for not cheating on her while you were figuring it out.
2007-04-28 15:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
right for you!!! you have found out that he's hassle and marrying him will recommend extra hassle. you are going to be able to desire to smash out, and get issues on your existence straightened out. once you're faraway from this, you will start to work out the poisonous relationship for what it became. And understand which you will no longer discover the money for to get entangled with yet another guy like him. So what in case you're understand him constantly? he's poisonous. whilst we are in contact in something risky, it would not recommend we would desire to stay in that problem constantly basically because of the fact we are there at one element. and end stressful approximately him. he's a grown guy. he will decide existence with out you. If no longer, then he does no longer be a guy i might opt to marry besides. Honey, you deserve so plenty extra. i'm so happy with you for understanding you are going to be able to desire to be someplace else. do no longer supply up! ok? you're able to try this!!! you're too particular!!!
2016-12-29 14:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
deployments are a test of your relationship, no doubt... theres nothing unfair about waiting, and it sounds like you need physical companionship. what are you going to do with your next girl, and the next? break up every deployment? just wondering.
been there, and my husband is currently deployed, and thanks so much bush for the extension... marvelous idea
2007-04-28 15:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart...when I read the first paragraph I thought well...just get married...and that's it. But then...I think that the doubts are not for being apart,but maybe because you are being exposed to other options. I think this is normal, don't get me wrong. Love is work, relationships are work...being apart is not easy. Talk yo her. Maybe she feels the same way. Honestly, I believe love is an everyday job...if you are apart too long...kind of dies. But that's me.
2007-04-28 15:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask yourself whether or not you want to be in the relationship, then it's probably not the relationship for you. Whether you're being deployed or not, if you're not sure about your relationship, then it's probably not right. It might hurt both of you to break up now, but better to break up now than AFTER you get married. I wish you all the best, in both your relationship and your deployment. Thanks for all you're doing for us!
2007-04-28 15:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by Salvage1234 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a hard question. If you really love her and you think that it's worth it to stay together then stay together. But, if your doubting it like you say then maybe you should see what else is out there.
2007-04-28 15:15:10 · answer #11 · answered by patricia_pastorino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋