we've been friends since Jr.High. He's 40 (like me), divorced and a great person. He used to be a nice dude, we could hang out and talk, have a few beers...thing is he met a woman a year ago. He said she was the one, he even had plans to marry her. It all pointed at them being a match in heaven. Well, 2 months ago he moved to another state, started dressing like he was 25 again, started drinking after 2 years of abstinence and it turns out now he's not the guy i knew. Problem here is, he met another woman, and now claims to be madly in love with her.
Has my friend lost his mind or could it be going through his middle age "period"? What the hell is wrong with him?
He changed completely, turned into a rude, loud a$$ hole. He even gave his mom the boot after she took him in for 2 years.
All he thinks about now is partying and drinking. And i worry because i see him on the road to self-destruction and he has been my buddy for over 30 years.
And no, he won't accept something is wrong.
2007-04-28 13:56:20 · 14 answers · asked by hicknproud 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
An old saying Just when you thought you knew someone. The friend should be glad sum/1 else sees his true colors!! As for you I know exactly how u feel. I had a single man friend we were very close both had been diorced him 2x neither 1 of us wanted any seriosness. I knew about his past binge drinking & drugs. I felt we were so close that I had a "control" but he did listen to me when I said u need to keep that in check!! (a few beers several times a week). I moved like 10 miles away and ddidn't see him as often HE died 14 mos later. ikept feeling that if we hung like we used to I could've kept a certain "coke" friend away from him. He had choose hanging w/me over a few badasses several times. It boils down to the same as a spouse sibling family memberb/f g/f.... HURT!!! A good friend is one that is loved and cherished maybe not a celebrated acknowledged Love but the HURT sets in!!!!
2007-04-28 14:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like mid life crisis.
Try talking to him, and other than that, he will just have to get it out of his system. If he is drinking and doing stuff to self destruct, then intervention may be in order. Dont let up on him. And dont give up on him either. Be supportive but explain that his behavior is insane and unless he can keep at a minimal around u, then u will have to ask he have less contact with u.
Tell him u love him dearly, but his behavior is just not tolerable anymore. See what he says or does. If he gets offended, then let time run its course.
He may realize soon what he is doing. Let him have his fun, he will drift back to earth soon.
Good luck.
2007-04-28 14:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Looks like your friend has hit a middle age crisis. He wants to feel young again. But it also looks like he is letting it get out of control. Talk to him if you havent tried already, which Im sure you have. Say hey look buddy Ive been your friend for over 30 years and I will be the first one to notice if there is a problem so try to hear me out okay? Tell him you can understand wanting to enjoy life alittle but be careful not to totally fall off the wagon. If he doesnt listen to you then there is nothing you can really do, you have done your part as his friend. I know its hard for you to see your friend ruin himself like this, just hope for the best and hope he will snap out of it. Eventually the girl will disappear and things will turn to normal. Do I hear the sound of a whip in the background? lol
2007-04-28 14:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy K 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I understand that you're worried about him. That's real friendship right there!
But, I think you're a bit over-reacting. He's an adult...let him make his own decisions. If you try to talk him out of all this, he'll just think you're jealous (of the new special woman in his life).
So, relax....let him live his life. He seems to be enjoying it. If he really is happy with his new life...let him have it.
But if he's not happy, then he needs you. Remain friends with him and slowly talk to him about it all. And hopefully, he'll listen.
Good luck :)
2007-04-28 14:10:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
because you the two are fairly good acquaintances consult along with her privately tell her which you're apprehensive approximately her and want to help. Ask her if something is incorrect with any luck she'll inform you. If she denies it which you need to to speak to her dad and mom or to a school conselor. they could probable get her the help she desires.
2016-10-14 01:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by lints 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mid life crisis to me. My hubby explained it that in his early 20's he felt like was indestructable and was very reckless. Well he hasn't hit his mid life crisis yet, but his dad reverted right back to that I'm indestructable stage at 40 something. I say he needs to make his own mistakes to a point, but it could hurt him in ways he never thought and he may also need a good friend too.
2007-04-28 14:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle C 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like your friend is going through the mid-life crisis stage in his life and is trying to get back some of his youth.
Generally this is a phase and he should come out of it soon.
2007-04-28 14:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you should suggest that he go to an AA meeting and sit down listed and shut up. See if anything sounds remotely familiar about his behavior while listing to others stories there. He may have a revelation. Sometimes we need to know we are not the only one sick and need help.
2007-04-28 14:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by TargetPractice 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Doesn't sound like there is anything you CAN do. I mean, he's in another state and makes his own choices. Seems to me the only thing you CAN do is pray for him. A true friend will be there for better and for worse...this is just the worse.
2007-04-28 14:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by Cherkeedoodle 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
why don't women get to have a mid life crisis?
I can't imagine what his issue is. Maybe he's always been like this and just got tired of covering it up.
2007-04-28 14:05:29 · answer #10 · answered by Beausmom 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋