Help me pleaseeeee!!!?

Question

i love my husband a lot.he is my life.he loves me too.we have something in common which is really bad for both of us.and that is stuborness and anger.and that clashes.today for some petty reason we were arguing in the parking area of a super market and anger lead to a slap onto my face.he slapped me damn hard in front of everyone present there.he did not even bother about my self respect neither his.i am very sad about it.i cried the whole time.i dont know how to go about with it now..i wanna hurt him so badly so he cud feel the pain.i dont know how i can do that.i dunno how i shud react to him the next time he tries talking to me.i want him to be hurted as welll.i have decided not talking to him for about some days..am i right..gimme soem suggestions how to hurt him


i know he will apologise me since he loves me ...he doea that everytime...but want i want is i dont want him to continue this further now....if i dont control him now he will be doing somethin

Answer 1

hire a hitman but only blow one kneecap say

pay for it out of his bank account

Answer 2

No excusefor violence thats for sure. Physical violence or verbal violence. Physical abuse or psycological abuse. So he hit you. Bad move on his part.
I suspecthowever you were not entirely innocent in this. Were you guilty of psycological abuse and verbal assault?

You idea of seeking revenge is not a way to go. Unless the two of you are in a twisted sadomasicistic relationship.

You sound as if both of you need some help with anger management and communication skills. Otherwise your relationship is doomed.

People who resort to physical violence generally just resort to it more and more frequently. So that has to stop.

Is there room for forgiveness, one would hope so, otherwise you have no relationship.

Sorry but all those peopel who said dump him now, don't understand what a real commitment to your partner is. Do I condne his actions no. Do I think he needs to readjust, yes. Do I think he can do that without help, no. But if you love him, you will forgivehim and make sure you give it your best shot to make sure he doesn't do it again. And just letting go will only make it worse. This is wrong behaviour, new learnnig has to occur. The fact that you are after revenge suggests that you to need some help in managing your anger.

Hey even if both of you break up, it looks like you would both end up in new violent relationships. Make something positive of this, use it to push both of you into learnig how to relate and communicate with each other in more appropriate ways.

There ar councilors, clergy if you are religious, and therapists. Even utual freinds and family as a last resort. These last ones are not really recommended as they tend to take sdes and often make things worse.

Answer 3

I am a retired family law judge and attorney. Over a period of 40 years I have witnessed it all! Your letter tell me in no uncertain terms that the two of you are young and still very IMMATURE. The fact that he struck you and the last paragraph of your letter tells me that your husband, by all accounts, is a SPOUSAL ABUSER.

Then, the mere fact that you want to "wanna hurt him so badly so he cud feel the pain," is the paramount indicator that you are really immature. Instead of running the other direction, you want to stay and fight . . . . or in your words, "get even!"

Neither of you have any concept of what "love" is all about and are not prepared to face life as a married couple. Unless you both get professional marriage counseling and your husband enters an anger management program, your marriage WILL NOT LAST. And perhaps it should not!

I have seen thousands of women in your situation and the end results are generally not very pleasant. Most have been hospitalized because of severe beatings and some have not survived.

Of course I recognize that YOU think you are not in the same situation as these other women, but trust me and my 40 years of experience, YOU ARE!!

I have but one question for you. What kind of love includes screaming, cursing and physical violence against each other?
The answer is obvious but you are too young, too immature and too blind to face the reality of your situation.

I sincerely pray that you do not end up in an emergency room or another statistic lying in the morgue.

Answer 4

Hello Nazy,
No matter what, there is absolutely no room in a relationship for violence, and indeed in some countries it is very definitely against the law, and he could end up in the jail- house for it, it comes under the heading of common assault. and can go deeper to become grevious bodily harm, then actual bodily harm, then worse still manslaughter and finally murder, as violence always escalates out of control. So you have to stop him now, before it gets out of hand. and believe me it will, he has hit you once, he won't stop now unless you stop him...
Tell him you feel lucky to be alive after a smack in the face like that, you could have sustained a seerious injury that may not kick in fo a few years, but when it does or rather if it does, will your brain still be able to remind you what has caused you to begin to get sick with blood clots in the head. Take out a legal action against him if you feel that he might hit you some more, and then you haved the law on your side, or more than this, get yourself out of the relationship, and find a gentler man... it's your safety at stake here.. Good Luck...... Tony M

Answer 5

Do notput up with that and don't make any excuses for it. He has not one right to lay his hand on you for any reason!!!! You need to set up an appointment with a marriage counselor now!!! He needs some anger management skills , and nothing you say should ever give him the right to hit you and embarras you in public! How disrespectfull was that. I don't care if he appologizes to you till the sun don't shine----that has got ot be it....the last time. Don't talk to him untill you are both sitting in front of acounselor and the only thing you say to him is.....you ever lay your hand on me ever again we are finished!!! Infact leave today and take some things and stay with family or a friend .......tell him you will see him when you get the appointment with a professional. Take charge of this immediaetly. I'm sorry you have to do something now! I used to work in a stress center and this is serious! please.

Answer 6

First of all, you're angry and you should never make decisions when you're angry. Not talking to him wont solve anything. You should never go to be angry with each other. What he did is not acceptable and is a problem that must be dealt with now before it gets out of hand. Hurting him isn't the answer neither. I'm sure he was just as embarrassed as you were. You may need to get an outside source to help you both to contain your anger before the relationship goes sour. That way you will be able to deal with each other better.
As of right now, when you truly love someone, you don't want to hurt them or see them hurt even if they hurt you. Please talk it out if you can, or get whatever help necessary.
Good luck, I'll pray for you both.

Answer 7

I'm not in your shoes but if I were then what would advise me to do. If this is the first time he's touched you violently then it may not be the last time and on the other hand if he is always snapping and losing control then I'm afraid you will have to tell him to get some kind of anger management counsellling. Whichever way you dress it up it's domestic violence and unhealthy. Me and my husband never go shopping together because for some reason he gets stressed and we argue too

Answer 8

Anger with anger donot mix. Every married couple argue and fight but not every married couple are abusive to each other. When my husband and I argue and I notice that he is more upset then I am I calm down and think about what is going on and he does the same. When your husband is upset and arguing you need to calm yourself down because two angry people in the same house hold together is nothing but trouble. Think about your life the next time you get in an arguement remember when someone is inrage they tend to do things they would not ordinary do if they were calm so you two can be alone arguing and snap and one of you might really hurt each other. If you two really love each other try this sit in the middle of the room and pass around astick or anything and go the person who is holding the stick is the only person who can speak about their feelings. If he have the stick you donot say anything and listen and hear what he has to say. Somethings he moght say might be mean but you as a female have to learn to control your temper. If that doenot work try both of you write down things that bother you about the person and what they need to try to work on and write down things you love about the person. By doing this you two can realize together you two have a anger problem. When ever my husband get upset at me in public i always be the bigger person and calm the situation down because arguing in public is not showing each other love.

Answer 9

First of all, you as a couple must pray for help. Two stubborn people cannot communicate. I had to go to my husband and explain to him that he does not listen to me. It was hard for him to accept and it was even harder for me to NOT say things that would upset him. SOMEBODY HAS TO THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK!!! I chose to be the one who bites her tongue and in doing this, my husband has now started doing the same thing. Yes, we still disagree sometimes and he or I will attempt to get louder, I stop and say, this is not the correct way to handle things. Let's start over and it usually works. Someone has to make the first move and be sensible. Me, only adding fuel to the fire is what I do when I go tit for tat with him. It is wrong for him to slap you, even if he is MAD!! I have been in that situation also and I know how hurt you are and also how humiliated you must have felt. If he apologizes, accept it and then you all need to discuss the way it makes you feel when he does it. He will eventually grasp what is acceptable and you need to know that it cannot be allowed to escalate. You have to resolve the argument before it becomes a problem. May GOD bless you both.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are on a downward spiral if your husband has put his hands on you. Did you put your hands on him first before we all jump to conclusions? It has always annoyed me that women are allowed to hit men and men are expected to keep their hands to themselves.... I am all for fair game if I hit my husband I would expect to get hit back and this leads me to respect him and NOT put my hands on him.

The two of you need to work out why you are so angry with each other all the time and seek out professional help. Relate are fantastic as you get a third person to keep you on track and a neutral envirnment to let it all out.

Whatever happens this cannot continue it is not good for either of your self esteems and you don't mention if you have any children. If you do then it is definately not good and if you plan to you can't bring children into a relationship as yours is currently.

Good luck in sorting it out but you have to do something NOW.... don't just leave it to sort itself out because these things never do

Answer 11

Try to get some counseling, even if he wont go. Neither of you deserve to be assaulted and can not be tolerated by either party.
For right now, go somewhere else and cool off, don't do any thing stupid. If you both love each other then you both will be willing to get help and not let this happen again.