help me pleaseeeee!!!?

Question

i love my husband a lot.he is my life.he loves me too.we have something in common which is really bad for both of us.and that is stuborness and anger.and that clashes.today for some petty reason we were arguing in the parking area of a super market and anger lead to a slap onto my face.he slapped me damn hard in front of everyone present there.he did not even bother about my self respect neither his.i am very sad about it.i cried the whole time.i dont know how to go about with it now..i wanna hurt him so badly so he cud feel the pain.i dont know how i can do that.i dunno how i shud react to him the next time he tries talking to me.i want him to be hurted as welll.i have decided not talking to him for about some days..am i right..gimme soem suggestions how to hurt him

i know he will apologise me since he loves me ...he doea that everytime...but want i want is i dont want him to continue this further now....if i dont control him now he will do something more horrible to me the next time....so gimme some tips that i can teach him a lesson

Answer 1

Girl, dont take your husband slappin' you on the face thats just pure abuse and if he loves you he will respect you enough not to slap you. Sit down with him without anger or poking at him as a person but talk about the situation and that you felt disrespected and unloved because of it. Also you might what to try some counseling together its helpful. Remember all the reasons you married him and treat him as if you were just married today :) Love him every day as if you could loose him tomorow. Dont take abuse!

Answer 2

You both should think very seriously about going to an anger management class. You should not take what happened litely, and neither should he. Abuse is a terrible thing, both physical and emotional. I hope he is feeling remorseful about what has happened. If he feels bad about it, then that means he will be more open to getting help, opening up, and the two of you talking.

I do not want to presume what is going on there. So if your both still very angry and feel that neither of you are in a postion to talk without things getting out of hand.. then you should go and stay with someone for a day or two while you both get your emotions in check.

There are many avenues you can turn to for help with things. It does not mean you need to leave for good, or that your marriage is over, but it does mean changes need to take place so that you can have a good strong marriage. Where you are Both showing love and respect to one another.. not tearing each other down.. etc..

Be strong, seek help... you can call a help line and they can give you local numbers for counseling etc. Your local Social Services office will have the information as well.. even your local church..

Stay safe! Make changes for both of you..

Answer 3

Leave, like for the rest of the day and night. You guys need some space right now. Stay at a friends or family members place or even a cheap hotel. Pack up a suitcase tell him your leaving and will be back in the morning to discuss it. Its not about hitting him back (that would lead to more problems) and its not about him saying sorry. (sorry only takes you so far...what is he gonna say sorry after your in the hospital?) When you talk to him tomorrow (not today theres too much anger) tell him, that he lost control and it scares and infuriates you! If he does it again, tell him he gets anger counseling.. (you should too) matter of fact..dont wait for it to happen again... I would suggest you guys get couples anger therapy!

You dont want to teach him a lesson. Seriously, leave for the night. Ever hear the cliche "You dont know what you have until its gone"

Answer 4

first of all realize you are a valueable person and the slap does not change that. you both were angry and he lost control more than you did. He was wrong to hit you whether in public or in private period. What you have to do is come to terms with forgiveness to save your own sanity. Plus you two have got to get some counseling real fast or this is just going to get worse. If you think there is enough good going between you then it is worth doing whatever it takes to protect that but you both have to agree to work on it. That means 100% from both of you. Trying to figure out a way to hurt him will only bring more pain on yourself and your relationship. You have some decisions to make. But if he has been beating up on you physically and mentally for some time now, even for some days now then it may be time for you to seek shelter and safety for yourself and kids if there are any.

Answer 5

That is the wrong attitude to have. Two wrongs don't make a right! You need to talk with your husband and let him know your feelings in a constructive way. I don't know your history so I am not sure if you are afraid to talk with your husband or not? I can't believe he slapped you in public. That definitely is a red flag for further abuse. This does not sound like a healthy relationship.Maybe you and your husband should talk with a therapist to develop healthy communication patterns before your relationship is ruined.

Answer 6

He slapped you physically? Catch him when he is asleep and beat him up with a bar of soap in a sock, or with a frying pan. make sure the first shot is a good one right above the crotch, but below the rib cage so you wont break anything. Then tell him while he is lieing on the floor to never hit you again.

Answer 7

First off, no one deserves to be abused physically or mentally. The martial problems your husband and yourself are having willl pass, but it sounds like you both need to sit down and have a long chat. He was wrong to hit you, but don't think of " ways" to hurt him back. That's just stooping to the same level. You said you both love each other, sit down and make a list off all the things that HE does that bothers you, and your husband should make a list of the things that you do that bothers him. Then discuss it. I was having marriage problems for a while, and we did the list thing and it has helped our marriage out greatly. Give that a try.

Answer 8

Hi, Im Amber and Im 15, I know that you feel hurt inside because of wht yor husband did to you and you probley dont want to hear advise from a 15 year old but I go throught the same pain every day but not with me but with my parents, my parents fight every day and its not just arguing but I have to see my mom get hurt too and I try to stop it also but this is what you should do... sit down with him express your feeling and if he continues, say you want a divorse I know that you love him very much but its sumthing you got to do if you dont want to feel the pain you have everyday. You cant keep letting him do that to you, exspecially if have kids cause it will tech your kids to be just as respectfull as he is when they get older.

Answer 9

If this is repetitive behaviour on his part the next time he hits you call 911. It is assault you know !

If there is a cycle of violence going on in your couple it will not disappear on it's own , be live me! Oh yeah I know the making up is hot and heavy but that too is part of the cycle.

If this is an ongoing pattern you both need help.

good luck

Answer 10

I will not repeat what everyone else has said. For the record I totally agree with them... except that last idiot. However, I will say that no matter what situation you are in revenge is never an answer. When you succumb to revenge it plants a desructive seed in you that will follow you wherever you go in life. It's just not worth it.