I am 30 weeks pregnant and my husband beats on me he sold his old house and everytime we have a fight he goes?

Question

out of town to NY, FL and back to new york again and blows money and when i ask for some he tells me he dont have any .becuase he has alot of money from the house being sold. He ask me to get a rental house in my name and has left me once again to pay all the bills and i can not afford it. the rent is 1200 dollars on top of my car payment and my car insurance plus any other bills i can not afford to live like this becuase soon i will be off of work to have my child. he broke a wall in my house he also broke the door knob off my rental car that i have to return in a few days i dont have any extra money to pay for the hole nor the knob to get fix and on top of all this he beats me up i had money saved up for my child but i had to pay 2300 dollars for the rental and 1300 dollars on th living room set whcih he told me he would pay me back and has not i can not get out of the lease what can i do ?

Answer 1

There is just one thing you must ask yourself. Who do you love more, yourself or him? Pick yourself because you will always have you. Don't stay in harms way. Get away from this man and this life, there is another, a better life waiting for you.

Answer 2

Kick the bum to the curb, File charges against him for beating you. Have your landlord change the locks on the house you rented, get a restraining order and take back your life! If you need to go to a womans' shelter for the time being then go.

Sue the crap out of him for child support, medical bills and spousal support too.
Oh by the way let your lawyer tell "the big man" that Florida is a community property state ( NY recognizes it too). So
all that "money" he has is 1/2 yours.

*************
After all this is over get yourself into some counseling to find out why you chose a man like this; ( 'cause 9 out of 10 you will choose the same kind of man the next time) Unless you break the vicious cycle.

Please get the help you need before something serious really happens. It will not get any better.

Good Luck to you

Answer 3

I know this sounds terrible but if your husband is beating you get help. You're pregnant! Not only is he endangering you, he may even cause you to have a miscarriage and a miscarriage at such a late stage can lead to huge complications. I'm sure a still born is not what you want. Please get help even though it means that your husband many get in trouble. It's not worth the risk of losing you baby. Call the police and tell them of the domestic abuse.

The money situation is very difficult if you have a joint account and also if you have a separate account, you were the one to give up the money in the first place. I suggest you should get a lawyer, though it means forking out more money. It's so difficult for your situation, but report the abuse and try to get a lawyer. If your husband did claim he would pay you back without a written agreement it may be your word against his but still it is something.

i hope your going to be alright and you and your baby will be safe. Think of your safety and your baby's safety before your husband's... he doesn't seem like a great husband if he's willing to beat you when you're carrying a child.

be safe!!!!

Answer 4

GET OUT NOW!!!!!!

Go to a family member's house, a best friend, a church member, etc...whatever you have at your disposal.

Then, the next thing you do is call the police and press charges against him. Change the locks on your doors, get a new phone number, and a restraining order, and never look back.

You are 30 weeks pregnant, and you are running the risk of having him beat you that he might kill your unborn. Then you could charge him with murder, but you don't want that ever!! You want to give your child a great life and let them live/learn and love what you can offer. A child doesn't need two parents. As long as the child has the love of A parent, that is all it needs. Plus, with the abuse he has shown you, he could do this to your baby when born. Can you imagine what he would do if the baby wouldn't stop crying?? GET OUT NOW!!!!

Do you really need your car? Is there not public tranportation that you can take? When you return the rental, explain the story, and tell them the truth, and tell them his information, where he lives, phone number, and how they can bill HIM for the handle. Make sure that HE gets the bill. He broke, he can pay for it to be fixed.

As for the living room funiture, take it back, and see if you can by used. Why did you get new in the first place? If expenses are a concern, even at the word of him saying he will pay you back, you had to of known that he wasn't going too. If he doesn't give you money, why would he pay for your furniture?

As for getting out of the lease, YES YOU CAN!!! Read the fine print on your lease. It might vary (as I am in Canada and I know that you can break your rental lease at the charge of $200--but you can get out of it). See if there is a penalty that they can charge you for doing that, and then call a Landlord/Tennant Act and ask them exactly what you can do to break your agreement. They should be able to get you going in the right direction.

Then once you sorta have that settled, get yourself to a therapist and get some help. There are reasons as to why people stay with abusers, and are attracted to them, and feel like they can be the ones to change them (abusers can be healed) but it sounds like you are desparate to keep yourself alive and your child. No this that this is not your fault, you did ask him to be this way, but think of the safety of your child, now and for the rest of their life. Give him permission to see his child, but only supervised visitations.

There should be alot of hospices, agencies that you can call, and I bet some of them are 24hrs, these are implemented for people like yourself to use, so USE them. Don't be ashamed to ask for some help as important as this is. You need to start doing things for yourself and you need to start the healing process for yourself. Plus you are also pregnant, and the baby can feel your moods. You don't want that. You have to maintain a somewhat happy feeling for your unborn child. If you think negatively, your baby will feel that. Think about the great life that the two of you will have, and how great it is going to feel to be a mother. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world, and I am sure that there will not be any lack of love from you.

But you must take that first step....and leave him.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Reach out, there is always someone to help you.

Answer 5

You've let this guy get away with everything up until now. Now is the time to change - you have to seek help from social services in your area. Please come to grips with the fact that you continued to take this abuse - why? Anyone who deals with you in the future or tries to help you is going to ask the same question. You should think very hard about the answer. Your husband may have already spent or lost the money he gained from selling the house. At any rate, he is not going to give you any of what is left. You have made the worst possible choice in your love life - the fact that he beats you proves that. Stop assuming anything about finances. Consider yourself destitute and work your way from that point. Resist any overtures from a man who beats you and abandoned you and your child. You have been screwed over royally - but you have also cooperated in your own way by assuming there was money there that most likely isn't there at all.
You have a child to think of. It's not just going to be you whose sorry a** he is beating. Please seek help. Legal, of course, since you will need a legal divorce from this creep. But also there are organizations that help abused women. You don't want a handout from them, you don't want to be rescued - you want them to work with you on finding out why you don't want more out of life than what this man has handed you.
For the safety of your child, seek shelter with relatives. You need protection - but it seems that so far, your worst enemy has been yourself. You are about to become the mother of someone who deserves better. Get your life together and shut this creep out of your life emotionally. Legally, he has financial responsibilities to support the child you created together.

Answer 6

Couple of things come to mind.. are you anywhere near your own blood family? can you move in with them for awhile? Did you own this home with your husband? Do you have a joint checking account, savings account? Your story is all over the place, why do you have a rental car? Why are you alone in a rental? Why do you let him in your rental if he is not paying for anything? Why do you let him beat on you. if you think it is hard now, wait until you have to also take care of a newborn. if this situation is as chaotic as you describe you are hurting the health of your unborn baby as i type. of course you can get out of a lease, do you have a brother, coworker, father, or some other friend who can go with you to the landlord. this is just speculation but if you and your husband do not have any other kids and you are working and he is splitting it sounds like he is literally trying very hard to get away from you and this unborn baby. it sounds like he does not want to be part of this. i personally dont know anything about womens shelters, it would seem helpful, perhaps, and i am just putting this out there, if you had less interaction with your husband just now. you should not ! be fighting with him over anything, it is terrible for your health. you could explain that you need to be calm for the babys sake. perhaps reach out to your family. and after the baby is born, you could perhaps revisit why you allow so much chaos in your life when you are paying your own way. i wish you well. your baby needs you to be well, and calm.

Answer 7

I'm alarmed that you are worried about money when someone is beating you during your pregnancy. I know this is all happening so fast and it is hard to think straight, but your first step has to be to cut off all contact with this man. He could kill you or your child!!! Is the extra money worth it? As for the bills, cut costs as much as you can by taking stuff back or subletting, sharing, and moving. You can get a divorce and see if you can get child support through the courts, but avoid any interaction with someone who is breaking and busting everything up. While you are pregnant, you are better off sad from heartache than beat up and miscarrying. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

You are allowing him to be this way. Just because you are carrying his child does not mean he owns you. You are allowing him to beat you and to take your money. You need to find a way out before you have this child. You are going to bring a beautiful baby in this world and mess them up in the head if you continue to stay with this loser. Talk to the owner and explain to him what your circumstances are. Tell them you have to break the lease for your safety and sanity. If you can't break the lease then I suggest you change the locks on the door when he is gone and get a restraining order on him.

Answer 9

You need to get away from him he doesn't respect you or you're baby you're a meal ticket and the abuse wont stop it will keep going on and next time he does it put his butt in jail for DV and that will help you pay all of your'e bills trough the state and he won't be able to come near you again and he'll have to pay child support.The question is how much do you love yourself?GET OUT FAST.

Answer 10

I would leave the idiot and if his name is on any of the leases for car or home then have him pay for the repairs. they can go after the scum themselves. Report him to the police and get protection from that husband of yours. You sound miserable. Go to counseling there are many free services(the police or chruch can suggest a few).

Do not have your name on any thing he can destroy or otherwise not pay for. that will only hurt you all the more.