OMG! my mother annoys me SO much. Y'know what she told me? shes DISAPOINTED that i have chosen a path that will be difficult for myself. I'm Lesbian. It's NOT a choice. i could choose to be straight and like guys but would i be happy? HELL NO! its not something i can just decide! its who i am! why can't she just understand that?!
2007-04-28 05:21:52 · 9 answers · asked by Angie 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I've realized something with age that doesn't really surprise me, but I find it helps others.
Mothers feel jilted and insulted when their Daughters are gay, Fathers are jilted and insulted when their son's are gay.
It's a gender issue.
I know it might not help right now, but if you think about it, it may help you put your mother's anx into perspective.
2007-04-28 05:26:27 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people go through this life thinking that conforming to society's standards and ideals takes precedence over anything else, even being true to oneself. When posed with the question, "am I supposed to pretend to be straight, marry the other gender, have children, even though in my heart it's not what I want?" they'll say, yes you should. Even if you have to kill your free spirit or suppress yourself you must always strive to become the prototypical career-driven familyperson. People are so limited in their worldview that they truly believe that one path they've always been told leads to happiness is the only path that leads to happiness, for anyone.
2007-04-28 05:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by lordwashu13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually, it's kind of thoughtful... she could have been horrified that you've chosen a lifestyle that's gonna send you straight to hell ;) instead she understands that you are going to face certain problems and discrimination in your life, but it doesn't sound like she is judging or disapproving. Every parent just wants their child to have a good life... hopefully she will understand that there is no other way than to be who you are!
2007-04-28 05:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are a number of avenues in life when parents have set out an ideal for their children, and are disappointed when they follow a different path (choice or not). In the 1800s, men were expected to follow in their father's profession, choice be damned, and women were expected to be homemakers.
right or wrong, parents give of themselves for basically 2 decades (or more) of their life, and hope that their offspring follow certain parameters that they envision.
she may adjust to the concept once she accepts it, and you and she may heal this division. If nott, it is herself she punishes, not just you.
Maybe your local GLBT org may know of a parental support group where she can talk with other parents in various stages of acceptance.
best of luck, my friend.
2007-04-28 05:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by kent_shakespear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some mothers just can't see anything that's to the sides of there tunnel vision dear. My mom is the same way and has always called me a deviate. Wonderful how the church teaches parents to insult and belittle there own children. I just ignore my mom honey and realize that she has never had a mind of her own, and I know who I am and am proud of myself.
Please don't allow your mother to take your pride, it's your life and some people can only see one dimension.
2007-04-28 05:29:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time. Moms always have a way of thinking of there little girls growing up marrying a man and having grand kids for them. She will come around, and I think her words of advice were misinterpreted when she said chosen. She just wants what is best for you.
2007-04-28 05:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by Mary J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will take time for her to come to terms with your sexuality. You have to be strong, and not let her comments get to you. If she insists on reasoning with you, take a firm stand about your sexuality. Let her know consistently that it's not a choice, and you cannot change it. Your mother will have to accept you the way you are.
2007-04-28 05:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be who you are! Do what makes you happy! Be a good and respectful person, and know that there are many other people going through the same thing as you.
Good Luck! Don't concern yourself with negative people who wont accept you for you!
2007-04-28 05:25:24 · answer #8 · answered by Kuy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can never understand why someone would want another person, particularly their own child, to be in a relationship with someone who they not at all attracted to. They'd never be happy. If I loved someone I would want them to be happy and to just be themselves.
2007-04-28 06:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋