In an argument with my husband, i was so enraged and heated up that i slapped his face hard. I apologised immediately cos i know it was wrong for me to do that. Although he forgive me, he said he can never forget it and his love towards me has subsides. What should i do to get his love back? He is the love of my life, i really feel bad about it and he knows.
2007-04-27 14:49:13 · 38 answers · asked by amy kz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just slapped the wrong man, that's all.
Give the wimp some time, he will get over it eventually.
2007-04-27 14:58:40 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Was this the first time you let your temper get so out of control? Maybe he's seeing a pattern and doesn't intend to be a victim of domestic abuse--which is what this was. If he'd hit you, you probably would have called the police.
Just because you said you're sorry and he acknowledges that doesn't mean he's going to let things go back the way they were. Obviously he's going to be wary of another outburst.
Have you been married long? If so, talk to him about all the calm, rational ways you handled arguments in the past. If not, tell him you'll get some kind of help for anger management. Just as a woman doesn't deserve to be slapped around neither does a man. He probably showed remarkable restraint not to slap back.
If you find yourself getting to the point that you feel the need to resort to physical violence, walk away until you calm down and can talk the situation through. Trust me, it'll save you a lot of grief down the road.
2007-04-27 14:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by goldie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were very wrong to use physical violence, I don't care how heated or enraged you were. Your apology was a good start but it needs to go much further. Your husband cannot move forward until he is POSITIVE you understand fully how hitting him made him feel toward you. You must tell him that you want him to tell you exactly how it made him feel when you slapped him and why it has affected his feelings so much. Ask him what you can do to make things right FROM NOW ON and then be willing to do whatever he needs from you for as long as he needs it so he can be ready to heal. He cannot move forward until he is satisfied that you have heard from him how badly you hurt his emotions and his feelings toward you and your marriage and that you not only have heard him but you have understood him.You cannot try to explain away what you did with any excuse because there IS NO EXCUSE for what you did. If you want your marriage to work, you need to be very careful how you handle this situation. He is not to blame. You are. If you don't take this very seriously, you will be toast.
2007-04-27 15:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got news for you domestic abuse is abuse no matter who is perpetrating it.i can also guarantee that if it had been your husband that had been doing the slapping you would not look at the same way as you did befor it happened.get some help in managing your anger and maybe get some marriage counseling.as far as you saying your sorry many women go thru the cycle of abuse where she and the husband argues and it escalates and she gets hurt the man immediately feels bad and apologizes and buys her gifts and swears up and down that it won't happen again and it doesn't until the next time and the next and the next you get my point,and well as far as his love subsiding you broke his heart you hurt him in a way that doesn't heal easy and it will take time.remember this if you don't remember anything else I have posted here,KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF if you have to hit something grab a pillow or even pound the wall anything but the person that you claim to love.
2007-04-27 17:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by windwalker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you can do really....however I am a little concerned that some of the answers that people are giving imply that because he is a male that he should "Suck it up and be a man" after all it was just a slap....yet if this was your husband saying that he slapped you then it would be " Leave his sorry A ss Not Whip his A ss. Don't misunderstand me here...I would be the first one to tell you Move on....Run do not walk from this so called man. Hitting .....slapping whatever is....in my opinion unforgivable no matter if you are a man or a women....you do not hit the one you say you are in love with.
sorry
2007-04-27 15:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by oldman 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
When you have been hit by someone you love it is hard to get over you can't forget that moment no matter what they do or how hard you try. You took his love,respect,trust ,honor and crushed it. If he's still with you he does have some feeling for you. You need to do all you can to bring what you destroyed back and it is not going to be easy and you must never ever do this again. I was abused and I don't believe any one should be abused. But I do believe man or woman if they hit you you have a right to hit back be glad he didn't.
2007-04-27 14:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, never strike him again, and be thankful he did not react by striking back. You have apologized, he should forgive you. If he forgives you, he'll forget it, in as much as he will no longer hold it against you.
Secondly, the fact that he says he will not forget it indicates that he intends to hold it against you, which could be a symtom of a passive-agressive form of control. Not a healthy situation. After all, it is not like you cheated on him, thereby destroying his trust.
Promise him and YOURSELF that you will not lose control like that again. In a short time it will be ancient history, if there were not something wrong prior to the incident.
2007-04-27 15:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by joeiselvis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can forgive but your never forget. My husband has don't really bad things to me and the love has gone at least for me. What done is done and move on with your marriage. If there is a argument next time just walk away or you will find yourself on the other end.
2007-04-27 15:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by jennylo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His love for you is subsiding? Is that what he is saying? Maybe he is just ... still embarrassed, saving face. It sounds like this was just a reflex. If he is your husband he should know that it as a reflex.
Well, lots of people might say its a waste of time, but try counseling. If you want your marriage to get better, it is worth it.
Good luck and have a great night.
2007-04-27 15:44:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can blame him for his feelings toward you. If the table is turned I bet you feel that way too. I hope on the long run he can forget and forgive that terrible experience from you. When a person said I forgive you, but I don't forget, that means he did not forgive you.
2007-04-27 14:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately that was domestic violence and is just like if he slapped you - you'd be mortified, scared and worried that it would happen again. There is no way to take back what you did or how he feels about it, but you can keep ensuring him that it will NEVER happen again and that you will be eternally sorry for hurting him both physically and emotionally - I don't know if I would forgive a partner that slapped me. Good luck
2007-04-27 14:53:58 · answer #11 · answered by Jodes 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋