Okay, as most of you can tell I have had some marriage probs. However, today I have gotten our cable bill with some added x movies on them. He knows that I cannot stand them and said he did it to get back at me. Looking at the dates, I had worked those days and I usually don't get home till 11 pm and just crash. How can he justify 'getting even' when I didn't even do anything? The main question I am asking is should I stick to my grounds and original plan that we both aggreed upon which is if he did it again I will divorce his selfish *** and take the kids. Why do you people have to one up each other?
2007-04-27 14:31:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he used that excuse just to get away with it. And really, how mature is he if he resorts to the childish "I did it to get back at you".
I won't tell you to stay or go, but I will tell you to think about who you married.
2007-04-27 14:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am not a guy but I would like to answer your question. Are there more problems in the marriage other than x movies? I would like to be honest in answering your question, so here it goes. I feel if x movies is all he is looking at than I feel this is not grounds for divorce. I understand you hate these movies but just because you hate the movies doesn't mean he has to also. At least he is not watching them in your presence or the presence your your children. To get even is childish. Adult married people with children shouldn't portray that behavior. What will your children learn from this type of behavior?
You all need to communicate more. Ask him what is he getting even about. Let him know that the getting even stuff need to stop immediately because it is so immature. Find time for each other and enjoy married life. Good Luck.
2007-04-27 22:10:07 · answer #2 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think it is childish to play the "get even" with one another especially if the couple are adults and married. I remember doing the "get even" game in middle & high school. It is clearly a break down in communication in your marriage which is a very important factor in a marriage.
I suggest that you & your husband talk to each other. Find out what is lacking in the marriage and the reason he watches x movies. Try to spend more time with each other alone. I understand the both of you work but make an effort to spend at least 30 minutes to hour together. It will make a world of difference. I wish you well.
2007-04-27 21:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you asked, i will answer what i think
you are seriously thinking of divorcing him over some x movies?
i think for you to have said this to begin with should not be taken lightly...
you, obviously, loathe x movies and have given him some pretty childish ultimatums here, as he is not your child, but your mate.
i am sure you realize that it is an excuse for having gotten caught that makes him say, he is getting even...but, his getting even may just be the icing on the cake.
maybe he wants you to leave with the kids so that he can be free to watch what he wants.
when you ask, why do you people have to one up each other...aren't you really meaning that you have the final "one up" on your husband? you are going to divorce him! that is the biggest 'get even' ever!
if you really want to 'get one up on him'...don't leave...keep harping on the x movies, make him add some more to get even and then harp some more so he will add some more...
or seek out someone you both can go and talk to...if he is so much into those that he has to try to use them for some kind of leverage, there is a real problem...
2007-04-27 21:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That getting even is just an excuse, and a VERY childish one at that.
There is no reason that a couple should EVER try to one up each other. I think that a couple should be open and honest with each other, and there should be no competition between spouses.
2007-04-27 23:46:52 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow , women like you are the reason I would never want to be married ! make sure you dont look directly in ur childrens eyes Medusa!, who cares if he was looking at porn dose it bother you that much , let him think he got back at you what ever. Taking his kids , is just such a heartless thing to do , no wonder he divorced your krazy azz! and hey i get home late from work too , but I make sure i screw my girlfriend , because couples need to do that , if your sex life aint fresh , then your relationship aint gunna be good! , maybe he just thinks ur horrible in the sack , and has to watch porn instead , u obviously havent been around men alot in your life.
2007-04-27 21:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by ChiefTokembowl2 p 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The selfish *** is addicted to pornography. He can't help but seek it out however he can when you are not around to catch him in the act. The getting even is just his excuse for feeding his addiction.
Ask him what is plan is to stop his indulgence in porn. Know that because it is addictive, he will need more and more or nastier stuff to get off on it. Some viewers of pornography need to eventually act on it.
2007-04-27 21:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
i think DIVORCE and taking kids away is real nasty real harsh over a darn porno flick. I help buy my hubby's movies. If it's more he lied i understand that but, still this is not a major SCREW up to me not big enough to lose his family OVER!
2007-04-27 21:37:04 · answer #8 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't you rather he be getting off with a movie in your own home rather than out with a whore? if you ask me he's being kind and thoughtful toward you.
2007-04-27 21:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by wilo_chick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you get even, it will only add fuel to the fire. If you stay, he will always use revenge(for whatever reason). I would stick to your guns and do what you think is best for your children. Good luck.
2007-04-27 21:38:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋