The day's just beginning
You see the girl you love
You don't know what to do or say
You're friends, you talk to eachother everyday
On the phone, computer, etc
You're walking with her
Talking, laughing, having the time of your life
The sun hits ya, you smile at her she smiles at you
It's time to say goodbye
You hug and walk off
You're walking, past places where we played as kids
Later you talk to eachother
Time's ending
You say you'll see eachother tomorrow
You know what
You're in goddamn love
Is there anything else better in the world
2007-04-27 14:02:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
note: this poem is copyrighted
2007-04-27 14:13:28 · update #1
What a beautiful poem! <3
2007-04-27 14:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fallowing parts diffidently need some help...
On the phone, computer, etc
You're in goddamn love
The sun hits ya, you smile at her she smiles at you
YA doesn't sound good in a poem other then that its not bad.
2007-04-27 21:07:58 · answer #2 · answered by John 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
'etc' in a poem? No.
And fix the next to the last line. It doesn't even make sense. Don't try to swear if you don't know the cadence.
You have a way to go.
2007-04-27 21:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by Alice K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a great poem! I wish I could write poems like you!
2007-04-27 21:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do realize that anyone can steal poems on here, right? You don't have it copyrighted yet.
2007-04-27 21:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by Becky Jo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your other job you sure ain't gonna make it as a poet.That was really bad and a waste of my time.
2007-04-27 21:06:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
very good poem. I like it!!!!!!! Its something a lot of people could relate to.
2007-04-27 21:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yea, dude, thats sweeeettt!!!!!!!!! i am sooo bad at poetry, lol, but urs is very good
2007-04-27 21:06:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋