Abortion...what should I do?

Question

I'm 27 years old and I just found out I'm pregnant this past Tuesday. My boyfriend, who is 33 is pressuring me to get an abortion. I don't believe in abortion and he doesn't seem to understand that. He hasn't spoken to me since Wednesday. He says I'm being selfish by wanting to keep the baby. What should I do? He already has two children with two different women.
Before I found out I was, he always told me we're going to get married and have children. He said I was the love of his life. Now he says he's not sure what he wants or who he wants to be with. I'm so confused and don't know what to do.

Answer 1

DON'T let HIM tell you that you're being selfish, because the only selfish one here is HIM!!!!
If you don't want to have an abortion then the answer is simple DON'T HAVE ONE!!!
Beside you are a grown *** woman you can decide what you want with out consulting anyone (that includes the father of your unborn child)
If he told you that he loved you and wanted to get married and have children in the future. Why would he say that he doesn't know who he wants to be with?
The only answer is that he was not just seeing you. he was seeing other girls as well. Don't be surprised if someone pops up saying that they are pregnant with his child cause it sound like he can't afford to buy condoms if he already has 2 other kids by 2 other women.

So if YOU want to KEEP the baby, then keep him. Most likely is that you will raise him on your own cause he doesn't take care of the first 2.

Answer 2

i would say keep it if thats what your heart desires. i'm not anti- abortion or pro abortion. i am pro choice though. you are the one who will have go carry the baby and give birth or have an abortion. if he didn't want children then he should be using protection. he can 't say he's selfish when he also made that decision to have sexual intercourse. i think he's being selfish and scared cause his decision now has this result. if he can't face it, thats his problem. you may lose him and never get him back if you go through with it. he may take a long time to even be a part of his son or daughters life. i seen one of my closest friends who happens to be a guy react the same way. he already has a son he has custody of. he started seeing this girl who was mutual friends with everyone. years after they knew each other they started going out. when she found out she was preg he wanted her to abort, walked away. didn't talk to her or go to the delivery. he didn't start acknowledging his daughter until she was almost 2 years old. said the baby was someone elses. but when he seen her, he knew. so i would expect a similar response. if he does become part of the whole process then all the better you will feel about it. but if you put your expectations of him walking away the blow might be a little less when your expecting it.

Answer 3

Hello. First, get rid of the jerk. Have him sign away his parental rights now.

You sound like you want the baby, at least in some way. If you are unable to care for the child alone, please please please consider adoption. There are so many couples out there who want a child and are unable to concieve.

If you decide to keep the baby, do so knowing you won't have this guy around for support. You are lucky in knowing he is not serious at this point, because he will not be able to have any influence on the child in the future. At 27, you are capable of being a good parent, and there are many many men out there who would like to help raise a child in a positive surrounding.

My Mom was in the same situation in 1962. Guy was a total jerk, and believe me, in 1962 unwed mothers were not taken lightly. Her mother gave her the money for a ticket to a different state and helped line up a job for her while she was pregnant so she wouldn't embarrass the family, and then the baby would be given up for adoption. Just before the baby was to be born, they welcomed her back. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and with the help of her family, was ready to raise her on her own. The little girl grew to about 2 years old, and meanwhile my Mom was fixed up with the man who is now my Dad, and they fell in love, and went on to have two more kids together. That little girl is my sister, and she is a glorious example of something marvelous to come out of a situation just like yours. My Dad formally adopted her, and she is a wonderful woman. So don't let people tell you that you will never find a good man if you have a child.
In fact, there are lots of men who want a family.

You are going through a lot right now just learning about the baby, and feeling the hurt of broken promises. Don't rush into any decisions. At your age, I lost my ability to concieve a child, and know just how much that precious gift would have meant to me if I had the chance. My husband married me anyway, even without the ability to have kids. There are good, decent men out there who will love you. Do not give up. And hold unto that precious life inside you, and whether you choose adoption or to keep the baby, I sincerely wish you well.

Answer 4

DO NOT GET THE ABORTION!!! Please, my sister is going through something very similar. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend because he was cheating on her. His first response was for her to get an abortion. My sister, like you, does not believe in abortion, and refuses to get one done. And, so you know, he is the one being selfish. He just doesn't want to pay for it nor spend his time with this child. My best advice to you is to leave your boyfriend because if he really loved you, he would not be putting you in this situation while you are scared. You seem like a really strong girl to be able to tell him no this long. You can do this on your own. Call on your parents, because odds are, they will be so happy that they are going to be grandparents that they will help you out in any way necessary! Best of luck and God Bless. I pray that you give birth to a healthy and beautiful baby!!

Answer 5

Do you what you think is right for YOU. It is your body after all. If you don't want an abortion than don't get one no matter what he says. If he isn't going to man up and be there for you than he isn't worth your time. If he didn't want anymore children he should have been having sex. It's a risk you take.

DO NOT have an abortion for HIM! It is YOUR decision and that is NOT the right reason to have an abortion. If you want this baby then you can work towards everything you need to do for him/her without this man if need be. It's not the best answer I can give you, but it's an honest one.

Answer 6

You need to remove your boyfriend from your decision making process. Ask yourself if YOU want the baby and if you think you could handle being a single mum. Also ask yourself how you think you might feel if you do go ahead with an abortion. Basically do up some pros and cons on how it would affect your life and how you feel about it and base your decision on that. Boyfriends even husbands come and go but your children are forever so you need to be sure. Trust your instincts and then tell your partner what your decision is he can then make his decision. You'll probably be surprised by how supportive he is if you are confident of what you want but give him time to get there.

Answer 7

That is some horrifying behavior. First of all, decide what you are going to do with or without him. He may have had a part in creating this situation, but he is behaving like a stubborn child. He is thinking only of himself and not the least bit about what you might be going through. Then let him know what you've decided, and what you really want from him. He can either decide that he wants to be a part of your life, or he'll decide that his childish feelings are more important. It is better that you know now what his intentions really are and plan for it.

Take care of yourself.

Answer 8

u are obviously pregnant for a reason. You are destined to be a mother, you should embrase that and be happy to have this child for whatever the reason ends up to be. dont let him pressure you to abort the child in order to be with you, because what if it doesnt work out, you would have that over your head all the time that you gave up your could of been child. your not selfish for wanting to keep the baby, he is being a jerk for not reasoning. you are his gf now doesnt matter what happened in the past, he shouldnt punish you for his past and what happend then. good luck, and remember your pregnant for a reason. be happy.

Answer 9

When I was 25 I too found out I was pregnant. My father and a friend of mine pushed me to get an abortion. I refused. I was very scared and felt totally helpless.
To make a long story short my daughter is now 21 and was the apple of my fathers eye. Never has anyone seen my dad truly able to accept love as he did with my daughter. She taught him and all of us to say three little words. I love you. Since they were never said in my family when I was growing up.
Today my daughter works as a teachers aid with severely handicapped children and they love her.
The day her grandpa died three years ago, she sat in his hospice room with him alone for hours and just held his hand. She knew he was gone but I believe she felt him in that room with her.
She was brought into this world for a reason and that I believe was to show my dad what love is between a grandpa and his granddaughter.
I hope this will help you to understand all things happen for a reason. It took our family 18 years to understand the reason for her being here on this earth. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

First of all, regardless of what he wants, you have to decide what is in your mind & heart of hearts. Although he sounds like he is not the type of person to raise a child based on his track record with the other two, you have to decide if you are willing to raise & care for a child for 18+ years.

That said, hopefully outside of him, you have other people you can turn to for support and advice- friends, family members, a counselor. This decision is never an easy one, but know that you do have options- abortion, adoption, or continuing & raising the child.

Don't count on him necessarily for emotional support, but financially he MUST should you decide to continue (legally he has to provide child support). Regardless, you have lots of financial resources no matter your choice- NARAL if you can't afford an abortion, or Medicaid during pregnancy, CHIP afterward, WIC, foodstamps. I don't know what your financial situation is, but the emotional aspects of this decision are most important.

No matter what you decide, you will be the primary one to deal with your choice, and only you know what you are capable of. (Please don't listen to the propaganda on here about murder if that is what you need to do). Surround yourself with loving friends & family who will support & accept your decision whatever it may be.

Contact Planned Parenthood (not a 'Crisis Pregnancy Center') for info on timeframes for your various options- depending on the state, abortion will be out of the question around 4 months or so, but if you decide to choose that, the sooner the better (both physically, emotionally, and financially). Planned Parenthood is an excellent, factually accurate, nonjudgemental, & unbiased source & will give you info on resources for all choices or whatever you want & they will not push you one way or the other.


Please don't leave this decision up to your boyfriend alone & whether he will stay with you. I think you have your answer there. Hopefully he will turn around, but don't base your entire decision on it- it is only one consideration. Trust yourself & go with your own mind & heart.

Unwanted pregnancy is always a tough issue & I feel for you & will keep you in my thoughts- feel free to contact me if you need more unbiased help or advice or someone who will just listen.

Take care & I know you will do the right thing for YOU.