Do you think a marriage is more or less likely to succeed if a couple moves in together before they're married? For arguments sake we'll say they've been together at least a year.
2007-04-27 08:48:07 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nope. A successful marriage is dependent upon each individual's willingness to take the good with the bad and still love the total package. Both those who didn't live together before marriage AND those who did live together before marriage get divorces, so I don't think living together first is going to help any. In short, you basically enjoy each other's company or you don't.
2007-04-27 08:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by paypalcurious 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If you believe statistics, then no, living together doesn't help you have a successful marriage. I did live with my husband though, for a year before we got married. But it wasn't a trial run, it was to save up for the wedding. It made financial sense to pay rent for one place instead of two, especially since we were always together anyway. We've been married 8 years. So far so good. But we get along good and we talk. If you don't communicate, learn to compromise, learn to not sweat the small stuff, and to laugh at yourself, it doesn't really matter if you live together or not. The issues that usually break up marriages aren't about who left the cap off the toothpaste, or that he left the toilet seat up. They are issues that you can see before you even move in together, but a lot of people ignore them thinking that they will go away. Then they move in together and still ignore them thinking they will go away once we are married. If there are issues, they need to be dealt with before marriage. Living together first makes no difference if there are problems to start with that are ignored.
2007-04-27 09:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely.
The first year of marriage is plenty hard as it is, so why add the stress of learning to live together in there? You can't know how compatible you are until you live together. You need to get all the stupid arguments out of the way, i.e. which way the toilet paper should go on the roll holder. lol
Seriously, though, there is nothing more intimate than living together. I think it is just as important as sexual compatibility, and I do beleive that if both parties are ready, they should definitely have sex before marriage, too. Think about how much it would cut down on the divorce rate! lol
I also think that you should be at least engaged before you decide to live together, and that you should have a date set. That would help avoid the trap of 'playing house'.
2007-04-27 09:00:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think its more realistic to live together before you are married cause then you know what its like on a daily basis. You learn each other habits and what it will be like if you were married. You get to really know that person inside and out and thats what some people dont do b4 they marry. They only know the person that that person wants them to see. i have seen it happen where people are together for a year or longer and move intogether and then realize they arent going to work and i have seen it where they didnt live together first and once they were married they were in for a rude awakening!! thats just my advise!! hope it could help some!!
2007-04-27 09:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think so. My husband and I where roommates and then I moved out. Six months after I moved out we started dating. It made our relationship a lot different then other couples I know. We dated for about a year and then moved back into together (this time as a couple) and dated for two more years before getting married. I can definitely say we had fewer "surprises" than most married couples and probably had fewer arguments.
2007-04-27 08:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by Lily 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on if the couple is honest with each other while they are living together. It's pretty hard to hide bad habits, etc. while you are living together, but it could happen if you were married too.
I can't hurt to live together first, but it isn't an assurance that the marriage will last forever. Time and hard work in any relationship is the true test.
2007-04-27 08:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Shay Shay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally think it can help ease some unwanted arguments.
For example my husband lived at my parents house with me on and off for two and a half years. I learned that he's very maticulouse about neatness, no plates and cups being left lying on counter tops. Like he says it takes two seconds to tidy up so on the weekends it'll only take you an hour to dust since you kept the house clean during the week. It helped me get out of the lazy mode of I'll just do it later and now I know how he and I like our house.
2007-04-27 09:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Emily M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no.
What really matters is whether or not they took the time to get to know one another in depth.
Couples should take a year to discuss ALL the important issues; sex, children, money, careers, religion, politics, philosophy, etc., etc.
If they do NOT do this, they leave themselves wide open for a "rude awakening" within the first few years of the marriage.
2007-04-27 13:27:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to think it does help but statistics show that a couple who live together before marriage are 60% more likely to divorce than a couple who has not lived together.
2007-04-27 08:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how some people stay married for years living together then after 20 years thing change and they get a divorce .I don't think it makes any difference at all
2007-04-27 09:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by dad 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋