My husband has cheated on me a couple of years ago, and when I found out I talked to her and she sugar coated it because she wanted to still have some conncetion with my husband. Once my husband told her it was over supposively the communication between them stopped. I don't know what to believe. I was wondering now at this point since we live on the opposite ends of the U.S. should I ask her what really happened? Do you think after a couple of years she wouldn't really care and spill it all? My husband as in most men, wouldn't a lot of times just come out and tell there wife everything. Also, who is to say she will tell the truth. But since this has happened I just keep wondering and it hasn't ever went away.
2007-04-27 08:41:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont kow what it is about us women that we have to KNOW details......it's just the way we are.....to our own hurt most times.well, hey, you k now it happened.....i have to ask.why is he still your husband..this will never go away darlin.never.it will be between you till you die....she probably will not tell the truth, but it's worth a try..i know you're gonna ask her....you have to....and do you think for a second he is going to tell you anything? heck no.....their motto is deny till you die.he is .untrustworthy.i see that ppl are telling youo it will reopen old wounds....you cant open something that hasnt closed..old isnt a good word there.it's always fresh...open .bleeding.
2007-04-27 16:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're going to re-open some wounds if you do that. If you've decided to stay with your scum-bag husband then you need to put that in the past and stop dwelling on it. BUT, this is why marriages seldom work out if someone has cheated, not only do you lose all trust for your spouse, it's virtually impossible not to think about their affair. When ever you feel like calling this woman, just go kick your husband in the nuts instead.
2007-04-27 15:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't ask... Nothing she could possibly say is going to make you feel better - if this is what you're looking for - and you will simply be putting yourself in a vulnerable position and stirring up the past by trying to talk to her. She will not tell you the truth. You, yourself, have to deal with your own feelings, and resolve it once and for all. Seeking answers from the person you can't trust is a waste of time.
2007-04-27 15:48:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to hear the details really. It's just still painful and the hurt may take a long time to go away still. I would suggest some type of counseling especially marriage or just talk openly to your husband about it. IF you don't trust him, then maybe you should rethink why you are still there. Good luck sweetie.
2007-04-27 15:46:56 · answer #4 · answered by Tabatha 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you need to know for closure, yes by all means ask her. Since you have forgiven him, you cant fight with him over it or let it affect your marriage now. Although, the truth might devastate you. Walk carefully and be careful how much you really want to know, the visions may never leave your mind.
2007-04-27 16:34:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thinngs going alright now between you and hubby? Why do you women all want to dredge up the past. I suspect if you're like my wife (and I never was unfaithful nor was she) it's a form of self abuse. Self punishment. i really think there is this deep rooted psychological thing that some people get immense pleasure out of looking for things to make them feel miserable.
Sorry...you strike me as one.
2007-04-27 15:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to open old wounds. Are you still married to him? It sounds like you may still have trust issues. If you forgave him, then let it go. No good could come of asking the questions and dredging it all back up again. It can only hurt you.
2007-04-27 15:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by mdt93 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you moved on and you have forgiven your husband? Sounds like your at least trying. Get over it. If you continue to bring it up it will cause him to cheat again. Easier said than done, I know. A man doesn't like to be reminded of his screw ups. Let it go.
2007-04-27 15:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by ljsbeachgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you know about the story of Pandora's box.
If you are wanting to know, you better be prepared to learn things you want to find out and things that you wish you hadn't.
If this is for closure it may be good, if it brings it all back up again maybe let sleeping dogs lie.
2007-04-27 15:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY? If you and your husband are doing fine, now.........then, why would you want to stir up trouble where none exists? Consider that as something you and your husband MUST have worked through, since you are still married, and get on with your lives.
2007-04-27 15:45:48 · answer #10 · answered by laurel g 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋