my husband and I have been seperated for 18 months. We live 4000 miles away from each other. He has his photo on a lot of single (dating) sites. He now wants me to move to be with him. He also has emails from other girls, but I cannot prove that he has had any affairs. Should I move 4000 miles to be with him and forget all that has happened? We have been married for almost 10 years now. Is there any way to confirm my suspesions?
2007-04-27 08:31:07 · 15 answers · asked by Shorty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU CAN LISTEN TO YOUR HEART BUT OBEY YOUR HEAD
2007-04-27 08:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by NATIVE NEW YORKER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your heart doesn't tell you crap. Lets look at it this way "head".
seperated..18 months, 4000 miles
his photo "on a lot" of dating sights
"has had e-mails from other girls"
"can't prove he had any affairs"
Baby...add that up. What's it mean to you. Does it add up to the behavior of a man married 10 years?
Can't prove that he had an affair? Is that really necessary seeing as how he's been laying the groundwork with dating sights to sniff around and land some other woman? And really...you think honestly after a year and a half and a 4000 mile distance where he can do whatever he wants without the worry of you actually barging in or checking on him that he remained chaste and loyal only to you?
How old are you anyway? Any mature minded woman would take one look at this and I don't care if he wrapped a length of bailing wire around his winkie...he has not been faithful to you. He's been searching for someone else. If he wants you there its because he fails in these little dates he goes on and knows the only way he's going to get laid on a regular basis is with you.
Hmmm...how's that make you feel? Kinda used doesn't it? You don't need to prove jack baby. Everything is right there for you. you don't necessarily have to screw another to be unfaithful.
2007-04-27 15:40:16 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered the question yourself. If he has his picture on "Single" dating sites, then he must consider himself single. Sounds to me like he want to have his cake and eat it too. After 18 months, he has been with someone. You will never get the truth from him because as far as he in concerned, he was "Single" when it happened. There had to have been a reason you separated in the first place. Don't make the same mistake twice! With 4000 miles between you, you have a chance at a fresh start, take it!!!
2007-04-27 16:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by fyinfo_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not sure about the move, don't do it. It seems that you really don't trust him because you have your suspicions about him with other women. You might want to discuss your relationship with him before you make that move. You were seperated for a reason. He probably figured out that he really loves you and can't live without you. Now you have to do the same, evaluate the situation and ask yourself is it worth it. Do you still love him and can you really trust him or will your suspicions get in the way. Good luck to you.
2007-04-27 15:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by reddchilds 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to ur brain/head , coz heart is too soft to take any decision. I think u should take some times n ur hand . If he still loves u and wanna live with u then y he needs these other girls?? y he need dating?????
Its fishy to me.
Dont jump in a soup!!
think twice before u do something. Give time to ur relation, Try to understand what exactly he want from u.
2007-04-27 16:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been seperated this long for a reason.
If you go back to him, the emails and dating sites won't stop even if he says they will.
He has contacts with other women now.
If your feelings are that strong about the issue, they are probably right.
Stay away from him.
2007-04-27 15:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, youve been separated for what reason? sometimes talking to other people online is a way of remaining physically faithful yet having adult conversation. is he actually going out dating or just chatting with people? maybe youre not talking to him and he needs the ladies to make the time go faster while he's waiting for you to be with him. what all has happened? why are you so far apart? if its possible to get with your estranged husband and you want to be together...what is stopping you?
2007-04-27 15:37:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can try breaking his passwords and find out what he has said to the girls. but other than that not really. tell him you know what hes been doing and he needs t ostop now before he runins what you have. good luck and try not to throw away a 10 yr relationship.
2007-04-27 15:38:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u dont trust him hun it will never work, u would be moving a long way 4 someone who could turn round an hurt u. have a good think before u decide anything goodluck
2007-04-27 15:35:41 · answer #9 · answered by lizjess2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are going to move, go with a clean slate and forget about what he did when you were separated. Time for a fresh new start. good luck.
2007-04-27 15:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by Sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your head. The heart can get you into alot of trouble.
2007-04-27 15:35:19 · answer #11 · answered by mable3691214 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋