My fiance threatened to break up with me for the umpteenth time..........?

Question

He made a joke of me with two other guys we did not even know and I called him on it so he threatened to break up with me. What is his problem ? Then we went to a doctor's office and when I was seeing the doctor he talked to an attractive young girl, ( he is 36 by the way )that is just today. I need to start giving a daily rundown of his behaviour to make some sort of sense of it.

I am sorry he doesn't seem to threaten to break up often it just seems that way.

Answer 1

It will only get worse if he treats you, his fiancee like that. Break it off and get someone better than him.

Answer 2

Maybe he doesn't threaten that often. Maybe it just seems that way, as you say. However, even twice is too many - and once would be too much for many many people - not everyone wants the threat of a break up mentioned as if Dad is threatening to cut off your allowance! Next time he so casually threatens to break up, say fine. Let it go and tell him you have heard it often enough that now you'd rather stop hanging and just move on. See what he says. Whatever he says had better be damned good.

Answer 3

I would step back, ....far back, and take a real look at this guy with fresh eyes. Whatever is going on in his head is NOT a joke, he is saying what he feels and then covers it up with "I was just joking." Jokes are funny, he is not. He seems to haver very real committment issues at this point in time. IF I were you, the next time he pulls this crap, I would tell him that you think that is a good idea, hand him his ring back and move right on out of there. As long as he thinks he has the upper hand, he will treat you like dung, and that is what he is doing. Please do not stand for this kind of behavior. Everyone deserves better than to be held in a constant state of insecurity. Good luck

Answer 4

Sounds like this guy has very low self esteem. He makes a joke about you and just because you called him on it, he threatens to break up. Sorry, but you should get away from him. Making jokes about you is verbal abuse. If he is this way now, and you don't get out of the situation, it will only get worse. I hope you are not talking about marriage, because then he will feel you have become his property and at that point you will really lose your sense of self.

It my hurt now but get away and down the line your wounds will heal and you will meet someone who really cares about YOU, not just his own pride.

Answer 5

"He doesn't seem to break up often it just seems that way". What kind of an asinine remark is that? you just said "ump-teenth time" yet you contradict yourself in another statement.

It seems to me you aren't the one who should be doing a daily run down on his behavior...I'd concentrate more on yours.

If he talks about you with strangers in an improper and crude manner than he needs a good, swift kick in the nuts. If you insist on tolerating this and your only recourse is to come here and make silly statements like this one then you need a backhand across the chops.

So let me offer this. perhaps you'd best look long and hard about this upcoming marriage. Better look back over the years and start making your pro and con list now. If you marry this guy and he has more bad points than good shame on you. just remember...if you make your own bed don't look for someone to lie in it with you.

Answer 6

Whoa, seems like he's not quite as committed as you might want him to be. Maybe you two need to talk about what you feel is acceptable behavior and ask why he feels it's okay to use the breakup threat.

Could it be that you are both feeling insecure or maybe not ready? Give yourself some space to think about what it is you really want and need before you continue on this path. A daily rundown on his behavior won't help as much as an examination of your reactions/feelings about what's going on.

Talk to him once you feel clear and explain (don't accuse) yourself. If he gets it, good. If not, time to say no thanks, this isn't how I want to live.

Answer 7

Next time he threatens, you take the bull by the horns and say "No, you aren't breaking up with me. I am breaking off this engagement. When you feel like acting like a grown up, come back. But this is the LAST time you make a threat like that."

Then hand the ring back and walk away. He'll either pull his head out of his behind or he'll stay away. If he does come back and then does it to you again, break off the engagement for good!

Answer 8

I think you should take a stand and walk away for awhile. Having your relationship threatened everyday is no way to live. Walk away. Make yourself unavailable. Get some time to clear your head. When you go back or if he begs to work things out, take this relationship in the direction you want it to go.

Answer 9

If you are smart you will let him go. Why do you want to spend your time with someone who has issues and can't spend his time more constructively appreciating you? He does not appreciate you, he is testing you. He is insecure and doesn't have the maturity to be in a relationship. DFo yourself a huge favor, go find yourself someone who WANTS to be with you, that doesn't want to play head games, someone you can relax and enjoy. Who needs the stress of a relationship that is a game to someone. You deserve much better, go for it!!

Answer 10

Your relationship sucks.... When you actually participate in something as childish as these jealousy games what do you expect? Find a real man who doesn't need his ego stroked all the time and his fiance on pins and needles to feel good.

Answer 11

Let him know how u feel and if he doesn't respect that then u should move on. No man is worth feeling down about yourself. If he's not the man u need him to be and doesn't respect u enough to take your feelings into consideration then he's not for u.