Today I started my Antabuse medication and I have counselling lined up starting next Monday.
Today I said Goodbye to alcohol.
I have to leave you now
I have to say goodbye
We must never meet again
You must be cast aside
Your usefulness is over
This game is at an end
I'm leaving now for better things
But I want to part as friends
I know you never did me harm,
It was I that caused the bruise,
I cannot blame the tool
That I chose to abuse
You gave me everthing I asked of you
And you would have till the end
It was I that ruined the trust we had
I wish I'd been a better friend
I must turn away from your sweet kiss
We must never more embrace,
Our fevered dance is ended
And shall not be danced again.
2007-04-27 07:47:11 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
El Duderina - Thank you but why do you think I've done terrible things? I am a really nice guy - I've never done anything really bad and nothing really bad has ever happened to me. There are many different reasons for alcoholism.
2007-04-27 07:58:47 · update #1
Kenneth - I appreciate your comments but I'm sorry, I just can't share your view. Alcohol has done me as much harm as I have allowed to do to me - I do not hate alcohol any more or less than any other chemical. People can be their own enemy - a string of hydrocarbons can't hurt you, you can only hurt yourself. I wanted to end my 'relationship' with alcohol - I bear it no ill will. If I fall, it's my fault and I will have become my own enemy again.
2007-04-27 08:23:37 · update #2
Just Q - again, I don't understand. Did alcohol come in the night and jump down your throat? Did it mug you on street corners? No. You chose to drink it just as I did. Of course I know the extent that alcohol can physically and mentally harm you - but just like the knife on the kitchen table, it won't do anything unless you pick it up and use it. I don't understand the struggle with alcohol - I have a struggle within myself to overcome and the drug has nothing to do with it in that sense. Millions of people have no problem enjoying alcohol safely so it can not be inherently bad - people like us use it as a medium to express something bad in us and it's that which needs addressing. Over all, I had a great time with alcohol but I was heading to damnation with the amount I was drinking but that was MY FAULT not alcohol's. I don't understand the usefulness of condeming alcohol - it can't think for itself.
2007-04-27 08:46:46 · update #3
What a beautiful and moving poem.......
And I share your view, in the later postings, that others don't see what you are actually saying......
Each person will come to realise in their own way, what is the best way to embark on a process of recovery. They will also have individual reasons for doing so, very much in the way the addiction first started.
I am lucky that I haven't abused alcohol in such a way that it turned me into an alcoholic, but I do suffer from mental health problems.
After reading your poem it brought a tear to my eye, and struck a chord within, I can actually see that my depression could be viewed in a very similar way.
Yes the illness has symptoms that can cause damage, but ultimately we have a choice of whether or not to allow it to take over our lives, we can alter our mindset (with help and support) and come to realise that in the end it is ourselves who must change in order to change how the illness effects us.
I recently wrote somewhere that for me starting my recovery journey was, in some ways, similar to that of an alocholic. In as much that, because I know I have a tendency to overdose when things become too much to bear, I have to be aware that I need to keep myself away from temptation..... not allow myself to stock pile medication, or buy alcohol to use purely as something to interact with the medication. In the same way that you will, I'm assuming, need for some time, to keep away from temptation, not go to places where everyone else will be drinking alcohol, or not walking down the booze aisle in the supermarket.
As some people have misunderstood what you truly are trying to say in your poem, I feel that fellow sufferers of depression would not agree with my view on depression and that we have control over it.
I can see why they might think that, but surely we both should be allowed our own thoughts and feelings on recovery because as I said.....
ultimately our future is in OUR own hands.
I wish you well in your recovery, but as I have found in mine, there will be relapses and setbacks, but the key is realising that this is what they are, and not allowing yourself to give up the hard work and effort that is required.
If the antabuse and counselling help you, then stuff what others think! I'm now quite happily taking my medication and have decided that if that is what I need to do to keep myself on an even keel, even possibly for the rest of my life, then so be it..... why suffer if you don't have to?
Take care and good luck
2007-04-27 17:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jules 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Being an recovering alcoholic with over 10yrs in AA with recovery and sobriety I read your poem and find several things that alarm me and tell me that you probably aren't done with drinking because you aren't really convinced that you have a problem.
I think you realize that there is something wrong and at this point you are willing to look at alcohol being the problem but you still aren't convinced yet.
When you state that you want to part as friends. . . . I can tell you that when I finally quit drinking,I didn't want to remain friends with alcohol. It stole things from me just as another human being could/would.
You say that it never did you harm and that is WRONG. . . everytime you ingested alcohol it destroyed brain cells and hurt your liver.
It has also destroyed relationships,jobs and your self esteem.
You say that it gave you everything and would have till the end which tells me you aren't through with alcohol,that you don't see it being the end yet.
Then when you say you must turn from it's sweet kiss,in the back of your mind you are hanging onto all of those "good times" you think you and alcohol had.
You need to realize that alcohol is NOT a sweet dance,a sweet kiss or a sweet anything! ! ! !
IF you are sincere in your desire to want to quit drinking,forget that Atabuse.....you are only fooling yourself and playing games and flirting with the thought of your next drink because you aren't convinced you have had your last.
Add AA meetings with your counseling and you might actually stand a chance of recovery.
True sobriety and recovery takes work and dedication and the willingness to get down and get dirty with the work one needs to do on themselves when reality sinks in and one begins to see the harm and damage that alcohol has done not only to the ones they love the most but to themselves as well.
Taking Atatbuse is taking the easier and softer way which is what alot of alcoholics do in all of their efforts to quit drinking without really admitting they have a serious alcohol problem.
Take your easier and softer way and when all of what I now write that offends you, finally hits to home and you are finally ready to get real and get honest.. . . . AA will still be waiting for you as they were for me and God willing,you might actually live long enough to get there. . . provided you don't end up in jail or dead from your untreated alcoholism.
2007-04-27 08:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by Just Q 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is, genuinely, a well written poem. I congratulate you on your journey toward sobriety. I wish you all the best. Just try to take it one day at a time. Although, you realize that you must never drink, saying forever can be dangerous. Remember the disease (alcoholism) is cunning and baffling. So if you ever do drink again -and you live through it- pick yourself up and start all over again. Don't give up!
2007-04-27 08:12:58 · answer #3 · answered by genetically_predisposed 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not share your concept that alcohol is a friend that you chose to abuse. Alcohol is a poisonous drug which is nobody's 'friend' and as for it not doing you harm, that is simply wrong.
If you are still dry in twelve months - and I fervently hope that you will be - read this poem again. It reads as if it was written during a self-hating (and hopefully final) hangover.
And why am I such a party-pooper? I have been dry for almost 20 years and it still takes me a real, conscious effort to stay that way. Alcohol was and remains my enemy - and if you are going to beat it then it will become yours, believe me.
Antabuse will help kick start your recovery, counselling might help but only you yourself can stop drinking.
I genuinely fear that your romanticisation of alcohol in this poem is a delusion.
But, every strength to you. And if the poem proves to be a help to you, then I'll be the first to congratulate you. I wish you success and continuous recovery for the rest of your life..
2007-04-27 08:17:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Thats really really touching and very good. I have lived with someone who had a alcohol addiction and i know first hand how hard it is to make that move into sobriety. I wish you all the best for the future and hope that things are as easy for you as possible. Good luck.
2007-04-27 08:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good but it romanticises alcohol a lot which will be a dangerous thing to do if you are serious about stopping... You'd be better writing something that focussed on all the terrible things you've done and that have happened to you because of alcohol...
2007-04-27 07:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Like it a lot, I have been an alcohol and drug abuse concellor at work for many years and have seen at first hand the pain it can cause. I wish you all the very best in your efforts.
2007-04-27 07:59:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fantastic...........
Very emotional and has helped me to see alcoholism from a different perspective. ie.......your attitude being the problem, not the alcohol.
I wish you all the strength, support and love in the world.
Well done for taking such a massive step.
2007-04-27 08:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by hollyb20 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my gosh what a beautiful poem. cant believe some of the comments you got keep up the hard work your doing a great job good luck.
2007-04-27 10:08:44 · answer #9 · answered by tina s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is a great poem congratulations on stopping the alcohol i hope it all goes well and good luck for the future
2007-04-27 08:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋