Hi. I found this article on the internet. Can anyone tell me please if marriage is really this bad?

Question

Here is the link to the article: http://www.thesuperjabs.com/why-men-dont-want-to-get-married/

Answer 1

What a defeatest way to view marriage!!!

I don't even know where to begin.

1) Yes, marriage is tough. You actually have to WORK at it. It's not as easy and wonderful as some people want it to be. It is very tough. There will be some days that "love" is an overstatement. It's normal.

2) To say that 70% of marriages end in divorce is misleading. How many of those were second, third, fourth marriages? How many of those were because a couple married too young? Married for the wrong reasons?

3) The points of the article are mute. Of course you hear of couples who struggle! It's a part of life! Working together as a team, you overcome it. You get beyond the struggle. You move on TOGETHER.

4) Men nor women get screwed over the most. Women tend to be more wedding-driven and want to find the perfect man to marry. Men, after the party years, want to settle down. Each can be stupid. It's not just about one sex being stupid.

Answer 2

The majority of women will always say "Marriage is not that bad" Thats because they have nothing to lose. If a man gets married and has kids, thats it! It's over for them. The woman is totally in control at that point. Even if the woman decides to end the marriage, she'll end up with the kids and half the paycheck of the husband. The courts WILL NOT let the man have custody unless he can prove that the mother is "unfit". The mother doesn't need to prove that the father is "unfit" The mother automatically gets the children. The courts will tell you that nonsense "We only look out for the childs best interest" Again, BULL$HIT. Most, if not all, fathers have the same ability to raise kids as the mother does but the kid always goes to the mother. It's sad but true. It's extremely rare that you'll see the father get the child and the mother pay child support. My cousin was married for 9 years and his wife decided to go and mess around. Even after that, he still wanted to work things out with his wife but she refused and got a divorce and now collects $1200 a month and he can only see his son every other weekend. I DO NOT recommend marriage. The nicest woman in the world could turn into the meanest SOB.

Answer 3

I am a 36 year old woman. I think this is a great article. A little opinionated but great. I think marriage sucks. I was married at 17 divorced at 27. We made each other completely miserable. I tend to disagree the man gets ****ed every time though. More often then most women but not all the time. It seems like we expect something that marriage doesn't bring to the relationship. People think that once you are married it will all be OK. RIGHT! We are all different and it is hard to find someone you would choose to be around everyday. Just think we love our family and our friends, but would we love to see them day in and day out? I am in a relationship now. Five years. He would love to get married. He hasn't figured out yet that it only gets worse.

Answer 4

Great article -- some truth , some fiction, a lot of entertainment. Poor old Nancy.

Seriously,

No, marriage is not all that bad, BUT it can be. What makes a marriage go bad is really one thing --- lack of respect for another human being. We take each other for granted there by forgetting our manners or respect for each other . Without respect their can not be true friendship nor love for another.
By the way cheating on your spouse is the last thing that happens to an already troubled marriage not the first. Lack of respect for your mate is the beginning of the end.

Answer 5

No marriage is not that bad. Granted for some it is, but men are not the only ones who get screwed over. Sorry, I just had to add that in. I am married to the most wonderful man, we couldn't be happier. The divorce rate is high, but if you work at it a marriage can work. I like to look at the relationships of people around me to see what went wrong and learn from them. My parents, both of my sisters, and my husband's brother are all divorced, but I don't let that scare me, because we are NOT them. Your marriage is what you make it.

Answer 6

Actually marriage is not that bad ...it worse. I'm never doing it again. There is nothing in it for me. I happily escaped with just having to pay child support, all her debts and my one debt (a car payment). And losing everything I own including my clothes, my car (for which I had to still pay for) and birth certificate. I know alimony is next if I do it again. And there have one too many instances where prenupts have been thrown out.

I continue to be reminded not to get married every time I hear women say they are going to, would or have taken their husband to the cleaners. The last I considered marrying 10 years ago my ex said that is what she'd do if we got divorced. I broke off the engagement right then. The relationship 4 months later.

Answer 7

I've been married to a terrific man for 37 years. We've known each other since grade school and were "high school sweet hearts." Our marriage has worked because rather than argue, we discuss. One of us will come to the conclusion that the other person is right, and then it's over. Just like that!

Communication is the key. If you are being called names or feeling like you are being picked on or ignored, it's time to see a psychotherapist.

You can see one as a couple, but what really works best is individual sessions to learn how to listen to each other.
Just like in raising a child, you have to listen, listen, listen to your spouse. With help, the OTHER will learn how to listen too.

As to that article, it's written by a man who must have gotten the boot from his ex. With an attitude like that expressed in his words, no wonder they aren't communicating.

Neither partner in a relationship should be made to feel like he or she is in jail. Communication is the key again.

Answer 8

Depends on where you look. If you talk to losers who have worked at McDonalds their whole lives, and (understandably) hate their job - you will never want to be in the workforce. But if you talk to successful people who have worked hard to achieve their goals, they are often very happy working. Same with marriage. Ask successful couples what they think about marriage, and you will get a glimpse of how things can be when you're not a loser.

P.S. For the record, I like being married.

Answer 9

ok, i realize after reading the article that it does make marriage sound bad. the problem is that when two ppl marry, somehow one or both seem to forget that they still have to work at keeping the love alive. marriage is like a rope, one strand makes it strong, two strands together makes it very strong, and three strands braided together make it almost unbreakable.

the one strand is one partner, two is both partners, and three is both partners with their higher power (which i call Creator God)

the point of the article as i see it is what is said in the last verse....

Answer and ultimate conclusion: Don’t get married. Live together. Have kids. Treat each other right. Realize that you being a shithead of a guy or you being a ***** of a woman to each other has serious repercussions. Stop expecting everything and giving nothing. Love each other. Love your kids. Take away the stereotypes of what a wife should do or be like. Stop with the unrealistic expectations that he should read your mind. Treat each other like you would want to be treated yourself…. all the time…. not just when he/she isn’t pissing you off.

this person is trying to convey that you have to work at love. your heart may fall in love but your heart can be fickle and if it is not nurtured all the time it can change its mind. it takes commitment (which most exchange as marriage vows, and think its over after that) but commitment is much more that a vow, it is a decision by both partners to work.....WORK.....WORK!!! on the love they share.

interesting article,
peace,
lily

Answer 10

I did not read the whole article but from what I got, I do not think that marriage is that bad. I think it is what you make it. I think that most people get married to soon. Or sometimes they do not want to work out the problems they do not want to take the time to face them because of pride and fear of being wrong. Lack of communication is the problem to. Your spouse or boyfriend girlfriend is not a mind reader. You have to tell them clearly what you mean and clarify. So no I think that people have gotten lazy and do not want to solve their problems and divorce is a wuick fix.