The mom likes to cause problems.
Any advice?
2007-04-27 06:28:23 · 25 answers · asked by Wildflower 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ah, my parents had that problem at my graduation. my dad and his wife came, and my mom and her boyfriend came. at first i thought they would have a fight, but they just said hello and didnt speak to each other. be cordial and friendly, and if she tries to start something, just be calm and if you cant talk it out, walk away. the day is about his daughter.
2007-04-27 06:33:37 · answer #1 · answered by tovahh. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask a lawyer about this immediately. You have to know if your ex has any rights over your daughter or not; a lawyer can tell you that. Meanwhile, I must say I understand how your husband feels and if I were in his shoes, I'd be outraged as well. WTF? Your husband has been your daughter's dad all this time; and now the idiotic sperm donor wants to see the kid? SHEESH! Your husband is right, in my opinion. It doesn't sound fair to me; and you must also evaluate HOW this could possibly affect your child! You should ask a child psychologist what to do, because if the kid will freak out or be totally confused, then it is not a good idea to let your ex see her. PERIOD. Do what is right for your kid. Your job is to PROTECT her and this means physically, mentally, emotionally. Seek advice from professionals, honey. Don't wait any longer! What will happen if your ex decides to drop by? OMG!!! Be smart, and be prepared, too. Take all the necessary precautions so the kid is protected. I'm not kidding!
2016-05-20 15:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this many years ago when my daughter graduated. Except her father was the "problem child". I was polite. When he said things like, "We raised a really great kid", I didn't point out to him he didn't have anything to do with it.
If the daughter has lived with the Mom at least half the time, congratulate her on getting her through school, because you know it isn't always easy.
As the "new" wife, you need to take a back seat and let them enjoy the moment, and you just be along for the ride. I know that's tough, but that's what my ex-s' new wife did, and I was very impressed with her for it. If she says something, you need to let it go and let him decide how to approach it, the best response for him is, "This is about
Good luck.
2007-04-27 08:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be the bigger person.
Does the daughter know that her mom likes to be an instigator?
If yes, then just let her know that you will be there for her and watch her graduation and cheer her on.
If you have plans with her after the ceremony tell her that immediately after the ceremony you two will be leaving to make sure the reservations are in order and meet her at the restaurant.
If she has plans with friends the just let her know you will be there and then let her get on with her celebration with her friends.
The ex can not start anything with people that are not there and available to her.
2007-04-27 06:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that you are there to celebrate his daughters' graduation. A special day. Be there for her. She will appreciate having both parents' there. If his ex wants to start something just turn away and have deaf ears to her. Or tell her that you're not having this conversation. You all need to act like grown ups and enjoy the day.
2007-04-27 06:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has his ex caused problems before? Usually, in situations like that, the ex causes problems all the time and not just on occasions. If she causes problems, the best thing to do is for your husband to talk to her beforehand. Let her know how important the day is and who's it's most important to- the daughter.
2007-04-27 06:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show them ur not bothered :)
sya hi in a very nice and polite way... as adults they should get the hint that ur not into childish behavior
if not .. ignore any rude comments or attempts to anger you
sooner or later theyll shut up
be very happy.. and show them that they have no influence in the way u feel... the best way to push them away
ans another thing... u and ur husband should always be confident like this - if ur happy together -flaunt it- because the only reason they attack u is because they are jelous, and showing them that u dont care -sends them the message that ur not into cat fights.
if u and him are happy - dont care for the world - live and love happy together - dont worry about people... they shouldnt even be on ur mind
enjoy the graduation and congratulations :)
2007-04-27 06:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by hanoony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go, be proud of your step daughter, and if mom causes trouble, just let HER be the one that looks like a jerk. Some people just love to stir the pot, no matter who it hurts.
If she starts something, just congratulate the graduate and remove yourself from the situation. It would be terrible to ruin her graduation with a family argument in front of God and everybody. Good luck.
2007-04-27 06:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ya Ya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the graduation and if the ex starts in, walk away and let her make a complete fool out of herself.
2007-04-27 06:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK - went through this - his very new ex walked in & the two of them caught eyes. I thought he was going to jump right out of his skin he was so nervous - I asked him if he wanted to leave and he said no - so ok - I told him to just breathe and she walked around for a bit eyeing him all the way but pretending to be looking for someone - chances are they will lock eye's and it's best if he goes over to her first - anyways - he went over and said "hi - how are things" - she replied with a typical "fine - i was just looking for my girlfriend" - my man replied with "speaking of - i want to introduce you to someone" - I wanted to strangle her as she really is a B*&tch Woman - but I shook her hand and asked her if it bothered her that her 'husband would be sucking my "kitty" (not the word I used) that night"? She walked away and never does or says anything when we are found at the same event anymore! Makes for wonderful night when we get home that evening as well!
2007-04-27 06:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋