i got married about a year ago to my high school sweetheart. things were perfect. until a few months ago, it seems like a totally differenet person. i do not know what to do, i try to talk to him and he just won't. he is so mean to me i can't even belive him. i can't tell my friends because their his friends also. and i can't tell my family because they won't understand. i feel i am living a nightmare. everynight i cry myself to sleep, i was never like this. i used to love life and recently i can not even smile. i swear not in a million years i would nave thought my relasionship would be like this. i feel as if he hates me and i have never done anything to hurt him.
2007-04-27 06:15:54 · 9 answers · asked by clau28bri 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I went through the same thing when I first got married. A few months after our wedding I could not believe I had married a monster. This man had put me on a pedestal for the 3 years we dated and after the he was revealing his real nature. Turns out it was all part adapting to each other. We did go to a few marriage counseling meeting. My husband had no Idea he had been this cruel with me. We hung in there (I was tempted to say hung in there) and things got back to normal.
2007-04-27 06:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all human, so nothing is ever perfect. Obvously something has changed. I suspect he may be having an affair and his treatment of you is his cowardly way to get you to leave him. That way, instead of just being honest, he doesn't have to look like the bad guy. You might want to do a little investigating? In any event, if he won't discuss it, then maybe take a break. Go stay with a sibling, friend or your parents for a week or a month...long enough so he knows that you aren't going to continue on like this. Your family will understand. This is real life and it never goes according to plan. If in the end it doesn't work out, then just be glad that you didn't spend 25 years in a marriage for nothing. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. Enjoy and don't let his actions dictate your reactions.
2007-04-27 13:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by seattlego 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So much for sticking with the high school sweetheart. Really...what do high school kids know about love and relationships? Not a damn thing. How can you when you reside with Mom and dad and have no experience in life and not having to support yourself?
Bad, bad mistake. Oh....what do you mean "my family won't understand" What's there not to understand? Get a grip baby. Talk to your family. thats what they're for. In the meantime you've married an immature, juvenile boy.
However you haven't really deleved into this problem deep enough. Something changed. What do you think may have brought that about? Can't really help unless you provide more details and recount what you think may have been the trigger for this.
2007-04-27 13:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry sweetheart...I really am. What's happening to you is not healthy. I don't know what is causing him to treat you this way, but I suggest you take c/o yourself first. Seek help...find a good therapist (if you have health insurance). I'm divorced and looking back I'm glad the marriage came to an end because it was too painful. Talk to him....and be firm and strong about it. I know you don't want to lose your husband, but at this point the pain can't be worse. You sound young and with that said you have your whole life ahead of you. You don't deserve this , but the longer you wait the more it's going to hurt. Also--this may be a possibility and only you can tell--he might be seeing someone else and because of it has become angry at you because your in his way. Be strong sweetie and if you need to email me, please do.
God bless
2007-04-27 13:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Felicia Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband obviously has some problems. Is he stressed because of work or financial problems?
Getting married totally alters your life. No matter how prepared you think you are, you are never totally prepared for the responsibility. Maybe your husband feels like he has lost his identity--does he have single friends who go out every nite---is he missing that/jealous of them and resenting you for it? When you're single, there's usually plenty of money for "me", is he resentful because he is supporting you?
Unfortunately, any of us who may be responding to your question don't know you or your husband or what's going on in your lives, so it makes it hard to answer. I think that if you love your husband, you should be patient a little longer--the problem is not you (no matter if he tries to blame you or not-it's his problem for feeling like he does). Set a deadline and if he does not come around, you should consider separating from him so that you mantain your mental health. Don't be a door mat for him; let him know that you love him and are willing to work on things, but you shouldn't do all the work and you shouldn't take his crap either. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse and generally escalates to that. Be careful.
2007-04-27 13:31:16 · answer #5 · answered by Susan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulties in your marriage. It is never easy to sustain a relationship long term, it takes work on the part of both partners. Have you tried talking to your spouse? I think the best thing for you is couples therapy. This will help bring out the real issues. Good luck!
2007-04-27 13:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by Challenge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I know you still love your man but you have to come first in your eyes, You have to tend to your feelings, If your always upset and depressed enough to cry all the time then maybe you need to separate so you can't find that happiness you lost. Remember life is to short to be stuck in a situation your clearly not happy in. Good luck and keep your chin up!
2007-04-27 13:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen.......you MUST find one friend or family member that you can put confidence in........tell that one person EVERYTHING from beginning to ending......i think you might feel a little embarrassed too.. pride......whatever.but swallow all that and do this......you need someone who will understand you........it might take awhile to get it across to her/him but persevere till you are understood.PLEASE do this...... i assure you , i k now what i'm talking about.
2007-04-27 21:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try marriage counselling or just try explaining how you feel to him & find out the reason behind his attitude change
2007-04-27 13:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋