On Sunday i told my soon to be ex husband that i DO NOT want to be friends and that we should keep everything at a level where we only talk about our childs needs. so he calls me yesterday and start just spewing what he has been doing all week and what he will be doing today and all weekend. he still has not purchased a bed for our 2 month old and has NO money! he says he is NOT mad at me and he is there if i need to talk about anything!
Why did he not hear a word i said! he is pretending like everything is the way it used to be!
2007-04-27 05:19:23 · 17 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
please not that he lied and cheated and left our family for a 17yr old high school girl. I have tried to be his friend for the sake of our child but i CAN NOT trust him!
2007-04-27 05:21:06 · update #1
The problem is that he is afraid that you really are letting go and he feels that as long as he can keep you talking, he will be able to talk his way back into your life. Anytime he starts talking about his personal life or anything that does not have to do with your child, CUT him off and tell him good bye and just hang up. Do not listen to him, do not let him explain, do not give him the chance to talk about anything but your child and things directly related to your child.
2007-04-27 05:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a job?
Pleasantly, ask him when the bed is suppose to be arriving as your baby boy (I am assuming by using the word's "he") needs a place to sleep soon and don't want to run out and buy one for a short amount of time since he is already suppose to do so.
Or invite him to go shopping for beds (best interest of child) or give him tons of information (which are hints) about beds on sale.
If he has "no money" then he wouldn't be living right now. Plus, where is the child support? In the divorce agreement, set child support up as well. In time he doesn't pay and pay the back pay he owes, you can (like in California) have his license revolked (my mom did that to my older siblings dad as he can't afford child support, but can afford drugs, ya know?).
If he doesn't, then it seems you are a single parent that needs to have sole custudy with supervision rights at this point as baby is an infant. If he doesn't have "enough money" for a bed, then he doesn't have nearly enough to afford a baby. You need to buy the bed at this point if he doesn't and provide what the baby needs. If you have a hard time money wise, good possibility to look at other options: welfare, especially if he isn't giving child support, WIC (which anyone can get) and looking towards your families (or possibly his too?) help.
2007-04-27 12:37:44 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for child support. If he doesn't get a bed for his place don't let the 2 month old visit until he does. If you need a bed for your house, start looking around at thrift stores or friends and families with children they may have one not in use. Do not rely on him to get your child's necessities. That is what child support is for. It helps you get what you need without having to talk to him. Be blunt. "If this doesn't concern my child, I don't care." If you give him an inch he'll take a mile. He sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
2007-04-27 12:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by blue_dragon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ugh what a bastard! He's obviously trying to be friends, after which he will try to get you back. Tell him he needs to find a way to get the money because you have children to take care of. Be very short with him and let him know you mean business about his financial contributions and will take legal action if he doesn't start coming through with the money. At this point he should realize that he has no chance with you and that he is obligated to help financially with his children.
2007-04-27 12:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know that he has lied and cheated....How can you expect him to be different now? Just don't depend on him to do anything that's right for you are the children, Hes only interested in what's right for him....In any event, I'm sure the 17 yr old will drop him when it's time for prom. Who wants to be seen with an old guy?
2007-04-27 12:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by Bunny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would tell him again and the next time he goes and starts to talks about everything he is doing tell him I really dont need to know about that I have my own life. Dont be mean and say I dont care, but say something that he will understand that you dont want to hear about his life..If he then doesn't get it tell him to go and tell his gf mayeb she will care. ( but only if being nice doesn't work) . And actually you dont have to be nice with the baby either, he can see her anytime but oyu never have to see him. Tell him you will drop her off at his mothers or fathers house and he can go there to pick her up. And you will pick her back up at the same place ata set time. Its hard because of the baby and you think he will always have to be around you..not true he only has to be around your child and thats it..Good luck.
2007-04-27 13:36:41 · answer #6 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may need to FORCE him to listen if you need too. Yell at him and tell him that this is the real world and he's ruined it for you and that your leaving him.
Note: only use that if you've tried everything else and it doesnt work though.
Im sorry about this divorce by the way. I know no one ever wanted to end up this way.
2007-04-27 12:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by grjpbeatles2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move. If he has no money he cannot follow you. As for the kids - sounds like they might be better off not having a lot of contact with him! You need to get on with your life!
2007-04-27 12:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your attorney do the talking let your soon to be ex do the listening. If it goes in one ear and out the other then you might as well save your breath.
2007-04-27 12:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because he is immature and hasn't accepted the fact that you are through with him. In time he will come to terms with it. Until that time you will need to constantly re-enforce that with him just like any other child.
2007-04-27 21:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋