What do you think?Mature answers only please.?

Question

What would you guys do if your wife keeps telling you that she loves you all the time.Would you get frustrated?What if you liked a movie or cd that just came out and your wife would buy it for you, would you say "enough"?Am I pushing him away?I just try to let him know and show him how much I love him.Am I too much?This morning I told him that I loved him like 4 times and he said to stop, that I was getting to him.I felt bad.Can any man tell me what you expect or how you expect a wife to act?I got sad and said to myself that I wasn't gonna demonstrate my love to him anymore, that I was gonna act like if I didn't care anymore.But I can't.I need serious help.Besides seeing a phsycologist, what do you think.Women can also give me advice.How do you treat your husbands?I keep thinking that he's gonna leave me for another girl,and its frightning.

Answer 1

ENOUGH!

Lady, you are showing your love in ways that are not appretiated nor needed. You SAY SAY SAY that you love him and you are BUYING his affection through gifts. This is NOT necesary. I know that you mean well but you are acting like an insecure, inmature woman that is in constant need of reassurance.

You are EXTREMELY insecure and what you are doing is seeking approval from your husband, This is BAD, because you are seeking self-worth and reassuranceby being to cope with your insecurities.

You are smothering him, you are SOFOCATING the relationship by fishing out for some sort of reprocication from your spouse by contantly bombarding him with "look at me and how much I think about you" strategy. You are annoying yoru husband.

Listen, there is ways of showing love and affection other than buying stuff and saying "I love you" for times an hour. Try SHOWING him that you love him instead of saying it. Try sharing MEMORIES with your husband rather than buying stuff.

I recommend the bood "Five love languages", it describes the different ways of showing love in a relationship and why some are more important for some people. The book say that every person has a top two love language, yours seem to be Verbal reassurance and Presents. You give it to yoru husband because you want you husband to give gifts and give you verbal reassurance, The other love languages are Acts of service, Physical touch and something else I can;t remember.

Good luck

Answer 2

The best relationships are between people that share their independence, not because they are married, but because they still want to be together as a matter of daily choice. He may feel suffocated by your constant: I love yous. Your doing this because you want him to reply with a similar response. Even better, you want him to say it first, but he doesn't so you keep doing it, with the hope of validation. Your mention of being frightened that he could leave you for another girl, tells us that you are overly dependent. If he feels like your happiness is hinged on him, that's a lot of pressure, where he may feel the need to escape.

You need to have your own life, interests, activities, other friends, etc. Then the relationship/partnership you share is a bonus on an already fulfilling sense of purpose. Being a wife is not an identity. Continuing on like this will keep pushing him away, where one day you'll discover that he's had affairs, etc. Eventually, the divorce comes. If I were you, I'd explain and describe your thoughts on this subject to him in a very rational manner. Ask him if you are at all on target. If he acknowleges this, even ever-so-slightly, you'll know you hit the nail on the head. Your future is yours and you need to plan accordingly. Hopefully, it will include him, but you've got to have a life either way. Chances are, once you show interest in other things, he'll also show more interest in you.

If nothing else...some things to think about, right?

Answer 3

Stop using the words. I think he's saying that you need to start acting a little more dominant about making him come to you more and appreciating you. It's easy when someone becomes too submissive to become more like a mat to walk on.

If you want to show him you love him maybe find ways to do it by giving him a little more space (not too much) and also try being subtle. Give him just a glance with a wink or a knowing smile, maybe a few times when he's just around behind you bend way over to pick something up.

By being subtle and making him do the chasing you'll be in a position to really start telling him you love him without words and level the playing field between you.

Answer 4

2 questions, then:

1.) why do you need to do it?
2.) Why is he so cruel about it?

There is a happy medium between having to tell him SO many times (which comes off as needy and clingy) and acting like you don't care. I tell my husband that I love him probaby 5 times a day. Not all at once, though!

It sounds like you have som ereal self-esteem problems. Why not take some time out to write a list of all the wonderful things about you? All those things that make you a great person and a great wife. All the things that your husband is lucky to have gotten in a wife. Re-read the list frequently and remind yourself that you do deserve him.

Do you have enough going on in your life? Friends? Hobbies? Things that do not include your husband? Your cliginess suggests that you don't. Set up your life so that it would still be full if your husband wasn't in it. I'm not saying get ready for him to leave-I am sure you guys will make it fine. But what I mean is that you have to find satisfaction and joy in a lot of things-have a full life.

Good luck-stand strong and learn to love yourself.

Answer 5

I guess I can see that maybe it would lose its luster if you keep saying it all the time, but on the other hand, I would rather hear it a lot than not at all. You buying him the things that he wants or says that he enjoys simply points to the fact that you are attentive to him and want him to be happy. There may be underlying issues on your husbands side...maybe he just feels a little overwhelmed that you love him as much as you do. That can be a little scary too, but I can't say that I would push someone away. If you feel that you need to back away a little, maybe start with why you need to please him so much, why you need to say I love you all the time or buy him the things he wants? Maybe you have the problem I have...a people pleaser. That is a tough habit to break. My husband and I are going through problems of our own and he wants me to not talk about it and I don't know how to do that either. Just know that you are not doing anything wrong you are maybe just overcompensating for something lacking in either yur self-esteem or relationship. A step back has helped me (plus talking to family and friends) and I slowing able to give my husband what he needs so that he won't be so upset with me. Give yourself a break..you love your husband and there is nothing wrong with that, but we as partners need to respect each other's boundaries, even if we don't understand. Don't let your fear of him leaving prevent you from doing what you need to do for him and for yourself. Good luck

Answer 6

I can sympathize with your husband because the vocalizing of a certain single thing feels more like nagging and saying I love you time after time creates an obligation that must be repaid. It isn't a pleasant position for a man to be in.
Woman do have a better vocal communication skill then men in general and perhaps you should be quiet and stop making a verbal challenge that he has to meet.
If you want to please your husband adapt to his likes and stop verbally insisting he pay you back with the words you want to hear.
What would be welcome is a little bit of praise and appreciation to stroke his ego instead of a verbal challenge to keep saying I LOVE YOU. If you just casually praise him in private then you will open his heart although this works most women won't be that nice to their husbands..
My wife and I maintained a low level argument most of the time although we never got angry and more or less enjoyed the banter.
I hit her once by mistake it cost me a lot of money as I had to take her out to dinner several times and buy her some jewelery and go shopping with her etc she really took me for a ride on that incident but I wasn't the one who jumped on the bed and startled me, she did it, not me, but I had to pay. The truth is we love each other but that doesn't mean I can do all the words she wants

Answer 7

I do think it's important to express your love but it sounds like you are looking for affirmation. You want him to say it back, or say you are a wonderful wife. It could become a bit overwhelming.
Don't play games by acting like you don't care just back off a little. Tell him you love him once a day, maybe in the morning before he leaves or at night before bed.
Try getting out and doing something that builds up your confidence. Take a class or start exercising, whatever empowers you. Men like a woman who's confident in herself.
Also remember. Women are very verbal,men are not. We need to talk to show and receive love. Men are more action oriented so try showing love through actions.Not by buying him things but by doing nice things for him(Not all the time though and if he doesn't say something don't pout).
good luck!

Answer 8

So it sounds as though you're insecure, and keep telling your husband you love him NOT because you want to tell him you love him, but because you want HIM to tell YOU how much he loves you. No one likes to be compelled to share their feelings like that, not even a husband or wife. Do you have reason to believe he's going to leave you, or is it just something you're afraid of because of your insecurities?

It's not the telling him that you love him, or buying the gifts that's pushing him away, it's the insecurity that's behind it. He basically feels that you're trying to buy his love for you, and that you don't trust his love for you. That's not good in any marriage.

I'd strongly recommend you get some kind of counseling for this. I'd contact a licensed psychologist who specializes in marriage and family issues. You are going to have to get over the insecurity and self esteem issues that I suspect you have, or he will get tired and fed up with propping you up, and he'll find someone who can support him more.

If I've read this totally wrong, then I apologize, but your last sentence was what got me thinking this way.

Answer 9

What you've said makes me wonder if it's only about how much you try to show that you love him. The way that he reacts to the way that you're acting is likely only a symptom of a bigger problem. Why do you act the way you do? What are your motivations for it, especially when he doesn't receive it well? It seems like he's frustrated or annoyed. Have you asked him at other times why he feels that way? I'd bet that there is more to it and that what you aren't mentioning is the more important problem.

In the meantime I'd suggest slowing down the amount of times that you say I love you and try to show it. It'll be more meaningful that way and won't come off as desperate or annoying. Sorry. Good luck talking to him.

Answer 10

I don't smother my husband. We tell each other we love one another in the morning, a couple of times on the phone and before we go to sleep. You have pushed your husband away. You can show your love without having to say it all of the time. You two must of gotten married without having a long courtship before hand. Stop showering him with things and telling him you love him so much. You scream "I am insecure". Men like woman to be confident, secure about themselves and not clingy, it's a turn off even if a guy does it. I once dated a guy who was clingy and telling me he loved me every second. It grossed me out. I couldn't deal with it, just like your husband is starting to feel. Just back off a bit. Give him some space and whatever you do don't pout and show your hurt.