Irritated!!!!?

Question

Why is it that whenever someone asks a question regarding having a c-section does someone come on and start spouting off about 'doing it the proper way'??
I'm sorry but it really irritates me as I cannot give birth naturally yet some people make me feel like less of a woman because I've had 2.
If it wasn't for the fact that c-sections were available, my child and I would be dead.
Perhaps it is because I am 7 weeks pregnant and irritable and I appologise if I seem to be ranting, but I wish people would not jump to conclusions about it.
Rant over lol!

Answer 1

Hey look, I'm a midwife and I agree with you.

Some patients get all hung up on the fact they didn't do it "naturally" and get truly disappointed, which is sad because it robs them of the joy of their baby, however he or she arrived.

I even saw one girl's family come to the hospital after her section and, no kidding, they all cried and were saying "we are so sorry, so very very sorry" and going on about it so much my DS who has just come on shift thought her infant had actually died. So it is with some folks.

Some people see it like a hierarchy with drug free natural births at the top and elective c-sections at the bottom. Having a "natural" birth is fine if you can handle it, but these same people oftern forget that until recently, mothers and babies would routinely die in childbirth.

Should surgical intervention become necessary for whatever reason then it should be seen as an alternative, not inferior way of giving birth.

Would the same people have their appendix removed without drugs, because they like to do things naturally?

Good luck to you with your new baby!

Answer 2

I don't think you're ranting at all. Some people think it's their place to tell you when something is right and wrong so just ignore them. At the end of the day giving birth is a big deal and every woman has the right to do it how they like. Just because you had a c-section doesn't mean your any less of a woman, you still gave birth! Everyone said I never had a proper birth coz I had an epidural but they r just pathetic. I f I can go through something in less pain them I'm gonna do it. You've brought a child into the world and that's a great thing no matter how it's done

Answer 3

Zealots of any kind bug me, and I have discovered since I've been pregnant that there are a lot of zealots when it comes to childbearing. There are those who are down on C-sections under all circumstances, never mind it may save the mother and child's life. There are people who are so religious about breastfeeding they refuse to consider that not all women can do it, and if the baby is not getting enough nutrition, formula becomes necessary. Ditto on fetal monitoring during labor or tests like amnio or CVS, which in some circumstances may be necessary. They troll these boards and give "thumbs down" ratings to any posting that doesn't fit with their rigid ideology, nevermind the circumstances. Inflexible thinking is the sign of a weak mind. Everyone is different.

Answer 4

I understand what you are saying. There is no "proper" way for giving birth. The fact that there are options now is what has saved so many people's lives. When I had my son, I gave birth vaginally, but my mother had to have a C-section because my shoulders would not have fit through her. If C-sections were not available, I would never have been born. Good luck!

Answer 5

It doesn't really bother me that alot of people have c-sections, maybe a small few who do it purely because they feel its an easy way out of labour! I have got 4 little girls all born naturally but I am so petrified of operations etc that there's no way i would go for an elective c-section unless like yourself it was a life and death situation!
Just try n not let these people get to u (easier said than done) lol.
Congrats and good luck with your pregnancy and birth!

Answer 6

I know what you mean- some people on here seem to be preaching without having knowlege of the full situation. Most people who choose to have a C-section do not do it because the cannot be bothered, and to state otherwise for every case is just not on. You are no less of a woman- these ones who criticise you could be called that though!

There is no 'proper' way to give birth- as long as you and the baby are healthy and happy then that it all that matters. Of course by that, I don't mean that if the baby or mother has problems then it is not proper, but as long are you are happy with it and its 'does the job' so to speak, then it is fine! No preaching here!

Best of luck with the birth and the future!

Answer 7

My Mum couldn't give birth naturally either and had 3 C sections, I know comments used to irritate her too. Maybe some women are envious, giving birth as we know is extremely painful so it maybe a case of 'I had to do it so why do you get not to!', I don't think they realise that perhaps some ladies may wish they could give birth naturally, as they may feel they have missed out. Both ways are painful I imagine, a C Section is a big op so I don't imagine a lady moves around too much after having one.

Answer 8

I can understand your irritation. Think people only starting being daft about c sections when they quoted Victoria beckham as being too posh too push. So what if she was it's her choice. But I;d say she probably has to have them as she is small.
I don;t think women that have c-sections are less a woman. Giving birth whichever way you do is hard. After all c-sections are no picnic are they! You get pain and are not able to lift for 6 weeks or so. I;d say c-sections are harder.
Good luck with the birth of your baby hun

Answer 9

I can't understand the problem with C-Sections. Whether people choose to have one or a natural birth is totally up to them. As like you, you had to have one to save yours and your baby's life. Childbirth is childbirth whatever the way. Having a C-Section is not the easy option as although you don't have the pain of labour, the recovery time after is longer. I was lucky enough to have had my two daughters naturally but was prepared for a C-Section as I had placenta Praevia that luckily corrected itself near the end. If I'd had to have a C-Section then so be it. Why can't people stop being so damn judgemental all the time. You can bet half of them have never had kids and if they were put in the situation of life or death there would be no question about having one.

Answer 10

I think it's because there are too many women that have c-sections out of convenience. Not that you are one of those. But there are also many instances where doctors pressure women into having a c-section in situations where the baby could actually be delivered vaginally, but the doc doesn't want to risk a possible law suit. Breech babies are one of these. A breech baby can be delivered perfectly healthy vaginally, I was. But because there have been some instances of complications, doctors won't do it at all anymore. They don't want to get sued. Then you have the times that the doctor breaks your water in the beginning of labor and then has to take you in for a c-section because you didn't deliver soon enough. He caused that problem.

I don't think the frustration is really directed at you, but I do think a lot of us wish more women would hold their doctors accountable for pressuring them to have a really invasive procedure just so they can cover themselves. And you are not less of a woman for needing one. You are probably one of the few reasons c-sections are legitimately needed.