OK - my husband drank heavily. He'd get drunk and tell me to "get my **** and get out". After about the 3rd request, I did. Had an opportunity to buy a house with a male friend. We bought it, moved in, and now male friend says he's in love. My husband (been separated 7 months) says he didn't mean it. Everything will be different (married 7 yrs), please come home. Huh? I'm not considering marriage with male friend, but like the newness of our relationship. I'm settled in our new home, if I go back I may not be so lucky the next time he says "Get Out!" Do I owe it to our marriage to try again?
2007-04-27 04:16:13 · 32 answers · asked by Cookie Lady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, you should have never moved in with the "friend" before you were divorced from your husband, even if he truly was just a friend in the beginning. That in its self says that you are over your husband. If you really loved your husband you wouldn't have left him in the first place, and honey, who could love a drunk like him anyway? Probably not even his momma! You don't owe it to him to try to work things out because he didn't care about you when you lived with him. He just wants you back because he doesn't want anyone else to have you and treat you good. If the friend really loves you then go for it, only after you are legally divorced, and take your time before getting married again.
2007-04-27 04:25:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why make the same mistake over again? Don't go back. When respect between two people is gone, it is really gone. No way to make it like the first day. If it happened once, it can happen again and you have to go through the whole misery of separation. You have moved on, don't go back.
And as for the newness of the relationship. The newness will fade eventually. Just try to be happy because of yourself and you will always be happy.
good luck
P.S. (Can some one give me the same advice?? LOL)
2007-04-27 04:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by y u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you do not! You stay right where you are and be happy that someone cares about the way you feel. It is your husbands loss that he mistreated you to the point that you had to walk away. Nobody has to live with mental abuse. Has he had any counseling for his behavior problems that he has taken out on you. Well, ifhe has maybe it will help him in his next relationship. Why do men always miss what they don't have? He had seven years to be right and it is his loss now. If you go back you are only setting yourself up for it to happen again....let alone the next fight containing him throwing the man your with now up at you all of the time. Stay where you are sweetie.
2007-04-27 04:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused. Why in the world did you get messed up with someone in 7 months and buy a home. You have not even had time to figure out yourself.
I would not want to go back to a drunk , but I think you just rebounded into someone elses arms and then to buy a house. You are commiting adultry. You are still married. What in the world is on your mind. Confused you are messed up. Get a divorce then take some time to figure out that you can do things on your own., before jumping into a new relationship.
2007-04-27 04:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOu were right to leave but made a mistake of buying a house and a guy (male friend, or whatever you call him). You are technically still married and a complication is now introduced to the picture.
You have the right to demand your husband to reach zero alcohol as the condition of getting together.
2007-04-27 04:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay right where you are, cookie. The Old Man is not going to change. If you go back, you're an enabler - one of the worst people he could encounter - and you'd soon find yourself on the receiving end of far worse abuse.
Forget him. Go ahead and have a relationship with the new guy. Anybody criticizes you for not giving hubby another chance, tell 'em "If you think he deserves another chance, YOU give it to him. I've done my time in hell!"
2007-04-27 04:25:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, of course you don't "owe" anything to anyone. You did the right thing. If you go back, things might be "different" for a week or a month, but eventually you will find yourself in the same situation. He told you to "get out", and you did. End of story. He can go find another sucker now.
2007-04-27 04:46:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not go back to him. He sounds like a nasty drunk. You don't want to go to parties and have to worry about him getting drunk. You want to relax and have a good time. He says it will never happen again, but if you read the statistics, it always does happen again. I don't know if you have children but if you don't, you don't want to go back to him and get pregnant with his child and have to deal with him the rest of your life. Get out now while you can and file for divorce.
2007-04-27 04:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question you need to ask yourself is do you still love him? The next one is...is he still drinking?
Newness in a relationship wears off after awhile. But you can't go back if the husband is still drinking because it will only happen again.
2007-04-27 04:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - tough question. Is your hubby still drinking or did he get help? If he is still drinking, it is going to happen again and maybe it is time for you to move on...oh wait, you already did. You really should not have started the other relationship until you were divorced, but now that you have, you just have to figure out which one you are going to pursue and commit to it.
2007-04-27 04:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by Just my two cents... 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋