Should I lie to my kids about the world we live in?

Question

My friend was appalled that I had the news on in front of my 1, 5 and 9 year olds. She thinks kids are too young to understand what they see on the news and they shouldn't be exposed to such things.
I feel as though they should be exposed to the goings on in thier community and the world. I don't want them to be sheltered from what happens in this world, good or bad...and I help them interpret what they see through conversation and life experiences.
I'm not an idiot - I do not and will not allow them to watch adult themed movies/TV shows or play video games featuring violence, etc. But I WANT them to know that there is a war going on and I want to talk to them about and have them make up thier own minds about it. I want them to know that people have the capacity to harm/kill others and that you always need to be aware of that. I'm not going to lie about the world to my children.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject and how you handle these things.

Answer 1

Sounds like responsible parenting to me.

Way to go.

Answer 2

Don't lie to them, but don't underestimate them either. They have no interest in what you think may be important, but they will show you devotion.
Children have so much available energy that they are more interested in doing things that are in front of them rather than intellectually discussing or confronting issues that are beyond their influence. It simply does not register.
Do not put an adult mind into a child. The child's' mind does not see the same way as an adult because there is no experience to base what an adult mind has already assumed.
A child will love someone the very next hour who that same someone recently hurt them because children do not dwell on negative experiences or possible future repercussions. It is the adults, or as you point out, Hollywood who teaches them to learn how to use revenge and violence to make things right when we get hurt.

Answer 3

No, Yes, maybe? Get real, if you want them to understand - truly understand - about the war, then the last place that they should be exposed to is the news. The media sensationalizes the conflict. In regards to the nine-year old - if you want he/she to understand about the conflict in Iraq and "make up [his/her] own mind" about it, the child has to understand the implications of what it means to die, suffer, etc. No nine year old would be able to achieve this understanding. I don't have to mention the baby or the five year old. Even adults can't make up their mind about the Iraq war. Its an extremely complex issue. I truly believe that it is best if your children are not aware of the war. However, I believe that you will tell them. The way you phrased your question, it seems like you have a strong stance on the war. I think that you should NOT tell your kids anything about the war because they will not truly understand what your saying and their "opinion" would just be a recycled version of your opinion. Let your children be children. It is wrong of you to try to make them have an opinion on a subject that they are not mentally or physiologically ready to handle.

Answer 4

It doesn't hurt to discuss the current events in the world with your 5 and 9 year old. Unfortunately not everything going on in the world is good.

It's not all bad news though? However, despite all the evilness we read and hear about, the world today is a lot better than it ever was throughout history. Our average lifespan has never been this high. We have never produced so much food with the amount of resources we have as we do today. People have reached a higher level of education than ever. Our comfort levels have never been this good.

A poor person today lives in more confort than royalty did 100 years ago (i.e. hot water, heating, dishwashers, easy laundry, flush toilets, electrical lighting, refrigeration, automobiles, instant access to information, year round access to all types of food and not just seasonal, ability to travel, medical access, etc). We have a lot to complain about but we have a lot to be thankful for as well.

Answer 5

Hey, the news is the news- most of the time it's the most violent show on TV. But your kids lilve in this world, and I think they have a right to see what's going on. Besides, your 1 and 5 year olds are most likely too young to really care. I'm sure they just tune the news out in order to focus on things that are really important, like Play-Doh or whatever they're playing with. As for the 9-year-old, I would imagine that his/her 3rd grade class talks about social issues and that he/she is required to bring in news articles on current events periodically, so it is important for a 9-year-old to be at least somewhat informed. He/she's definitely too old to be perpetually in some LaLa Land where everything is sunshine and rainbows. Tell your friend to raise her kids how she wants, and you'll raise your kids your way.

Answer 6

We have a 7 year old son and we talk about what's going on in the world - everything from the war to al gore's views on saving the earth. I also don't let him watch adult themed tv shows/movies. But when it comes to everyday life- even the little ones need to know what is going on to some extent.

Answer 7

I agree with you, but please control ALL aspects of their exposure.Have frequent conversations and ask what they feel. This can be traumatic to a 5 year old. They don't understand the politics, I don't and I'm 40.

my daughter "7" started to cry when she heard about Saddam being hanged. she knows he was a bad man, but didn't understand why he had to die. It took allot of days of conversation to make her understand that people would still fight and kill for him, so he had to be removed from the equation.

I don't want them to lose their childhood magic, but the world is getting smaller and the influence of countries on other countries is becoming important to understand earlier and earlier

Your doing good, just let them talk, and if you notice a change in attitudes, habits, mannerisms. Maybe scale back the exposure.

Answer 8

I understand you want to give your kids the truth of the matter but keep it age appropriate. The very young are simply not equipped yet to understand and process certain information that is even stressful and disturbing to adults. You don't have to create a "fairy tale" fake world for them but you also shouldn't expose them to the worst of the world at an age where they may not be able to put it into perspective.

Answer 9

Turn the TV and the video games off, give them TOYS to play with that encourage creativity. Get them READING. Cut them off completely from the outside world. You shouldn't expose your children to the world's dysfunctional chaos.

Your friend is right. You are wrong. Don't let children make up their own minds about ANYTHING. YOU ARE THE PARENT... start indoctrinating them with the good qualities you want them to have.

You are doing everything wrong. Hopefully they are very young and you can start over.

I know it is hard, and that children don't come with instruction manuals.. but you sound like some hippy dippy person that wants to "respect" the children and treat them like little adults... They don't need to know about the evil of the world, and if you are lucky and they grow up well and educated then maybe they will able to live in a place where they will be safe from the nuttiness...

Answer 10

I agree you should tell your children about what is going on in the world, especially your 9-year old. I have been watching the news since I was little. You should allow your children to watch it. On the other hand, I'm not completely sure your kids will be thrilled about watching the news. When I was a kid and watched the news, I thought it was very boring.

Answer 11

No I wouldn't say lie to them because finding out the truth about anything, always hurts, be truthful but insightful at the same time and hopefully they will draw their on reasonable opinions of the world they live in. No matter what anyone says, the things most adults remember most in adulthood is the opinions that were given to them as children. God Bless.