curious for opinions...if you are in a relationship that you are unhappy in (due to a loss of love, abuse, infidelity, etc.) and you get out, does that make you the "bad guy"?
2007-04-27 01:47:35 · 24 answers · asked by Lannee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NOT AT ALL! LIFE IS TO SHORT AND WE ARE SUPPOSE TO ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. IF YOUR UNHAPPY WHY WASTE YOUR TIME. DON'T STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO HURTS YOU AND MAKES YOU UNHAPPY. I WENT THROUGH IT ALSO, AND HAD 3 CHILDREN. BUT IF I DIDN'T LEAVE WHEN I DID, GOD KNOWS WHERE I WOULD BE RIGHT NOW. WHEN I WAS WITH HIM I FELT LIKE A NOBODY, I WAS ALWAYS DEPRESSED AND A WRECK WHEN HE DIDN'T COME HOME. I ALMOST HAD A BREAK DOWN. SO I DECIDED TO LEAVE HIM. IT WASN'T EASY, BUT THANK GOD I AM TRULY HAPPY NOW AND HAVE A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE. YOU ARE NOT THE BAD GUY HERE, HE IS. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK AND I PRAY YOU DO THE RIGHT THING. KATHY
2007-04-27 01:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by kathy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a big question? Meaning that have you honesty given the marriage a chance after all the things that happened. Like you mentioned infidelity. Did either truly and honesty forgave the other. Did either come to a decision TOGETHER about the infidelity. Like counselor or a simple or several discussion about why the infidelity happened. Were there any doubts before marriage that could have stopped you from getting married.(Loss of love). And the abuse. Well for that I would be getting the divorce the next day. And that includes any; physical or mental.
Now if you have gone thru all this or at least attempted; and the two of you never could get back to a safe or happy place in the marriage. Then no I would not call you a bad guy. But if not, take some of the blame for this failed marriage.
2007-04-27 09:12:32 · answer #2 · answered by Moca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal. You took vows, and broke them. Sure some people see that as bad. But what were the circumstances that led you to leaving?
I am sorry but if you are being cheated on, or abused I would get out myself. No one needs to stay in a marriage with that crap going on. But if you are leaving because you want a new fling, or claim unhappiness, then I would question it.
A marriage takes a lot of work, no joke, this is coming from a married woman of only 4 years.
2007-04-27 09:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Justina P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. There is no easy "Yes" or "No" answer to this. If you have a good reason to leave the relationship, then it does not necessarily make you the bad guy. On the contrary, if the other person is driving you away, perhaps THEY are the bad guy, and they most certainly are in cases of infidelity and abuse. That said, some people leave for the wrong reasons, and they are arguably the "bad guy." It really depends. The truth is that most relationship breakups don't have a "bad guy." Both people are usually at fault to some degree, and neither were "bad." They just weren't right for one another, or they drifted apart. The person who leaves in this case is just the more practical one. There does not have to be a bad guy.
2007-04-27 08:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No not at all, if you or he is unhappy and have grown apart which couples do, and they can not change together then you should split, it is unfair to you and him if you are unhappy, why should you stay in the marriage if you are unhappy? This is today's society, people love one another and end up growing apart or growing together.
Being in a marriage unhappy and feeling guilty because of hurting the other is just unfair to both parties and that is how you should look at it. Being adults and talking about it will end up in a good friendship at the end. After all your only being honest.
2007-04-27 09:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by BuLlY LoVeR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my marriage after 5 years, 4.5 of that was a living hell. Full of abuse and infidelity. I felt guilty for a long time. I was the bad guy people talked about me for leaving, how bad of a woman i was. His family couldn't believe a girl like me would leave such a wonderful man, even though his mother was the one that took me to the emergency room 3 times in one month. I think in every relationship that splits up others have to see one of you as bad, doesn't have to be the one that left but it will be one of them.
2007-04-27 08:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That all depends upon the circumstances, because to be unhappy is no way to live. When you have children , you have to consider them too. They do not need to see two constantly unhappy ppl being together for their sake. I feel then that later on depending on their age, they may blame themselves. Another point is that it is unhealthy for all involved. It may hurt at first, but then that is why there is counseling and support groups to help one and one's children in these situations. If the relationship is abusive , that means life or death ..certainly there is no question about leaving the spouse.
2007-04-27 11:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by emeraldfire68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it does not make you the bad guy. It makes you the smart and the brave guy to stand up for what you believe is right. Remember there comes a time that you have to do what is best for you, even though it may be hard and the road may look scary and long.
2007-04-27 10:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think marriage takes a lot of work and committment. But, both partners have to participate. If one partner breaks the deal by refusing to work out differences or being abusive or cheating, the other partner should exit, if they so choose without guilt.
2007-04-27 10:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by magartista 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You took vows and you have to do all that you can to make the marriage work if that doesn't work, then for self preservation you have to leave. Most people don't put that kind of work into their marriage so they are considered "the bad guy".
2007-04-27 08:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋