My husband has been dealing with a lot of stress lately. When he is stressed he is short tempered and jumps down my throat about everything I say and do. How can I deal, and help him with his stress?
He is really down in the dumps, I do not know what I can do to help him. It is hard seeing someone you love going through such a difficult time.
2007-04-27 01:43:05 · 5 answers · asked by Justina P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is the same. Kids and I get the brunt of it. Drives me nuts. Have tried talking to him when he was in a better mood. Didn't work. He just wanted to be left alone. Wasn't easy especially with 2 young kids.
I've tried leaving him alone, occupying our kids, taking them out (keeping them out of his hair) including not asking him to help out around the house.
It helped quite a bit but didn't solve the problem. He needs to solve whatever is disturbing him but with your quiet but loving support and just hearing him out without interruption and when he needs some feedback from you, just make sure it's positive without affecting his ego, etc.
If this doesn't help much, you could try approaching him lovingly and tell him that you feel hurt and helpless to see him the way he is and how much it hurts you when he jumps down your throat about everything. Ask him if there is anything you could do or how you could help.
Suggest an outdoor activity or a different scenery.
2007-04-27 02:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by busyqueenlyb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course I've never been cranky myself, but....First thing you need to understand is that when men get stressed and cranky, they take it out on the wife because she's the closest person to them in their life. It sure doesn't mean we love them any less. So take control. Fix a nice dinner with the candles and all or draw him a bath with candles or whatever floats your boat. Then set him down and tell him your going to talk and you want him to listen. Then it'll be his turn. Then tell him your on his side. You understand the stress he's going Through and your willing to do all you can to help. Then pump up his male ego a little by saying something like "I know i couldn't handle all your going Through and I admire how you can handle any situation" But then drop the bomb and say that you just can't take the moods or him jumping down your throat. Tell him as partners, you'll sit down with him on a daily basis if need be and discuss your problems and putting your heads together, come up with solutions. Then let him know your in it for the long haul and your not giving up on him. Then let him have his say. Bet it'll start out by him saying how sorry he is. Your husband already has a big head start on his problems, he has you that understands and worry about him. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-04-27 02:37:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Seriously just a quick trip around the block in the stroller can usually get you a small break. A trip to the mall can keep a cranky baby busy for hours. Also find a local mommy group that take turns getting together at each other's houses, then there is less concern if your baby makes noise.
2016-03-15 21:02:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford it, try to arrange something that he really enjoys doing. My husband loves football so when he was really stressed during the season, I got him a couple of tickets. No, it doesn't solve the problem, but it does put him in a better mood so you can discuss the problem with him and try to brainstorm a solution. Reinforce how much you love him and want him to be happy because he may need to hear that to work through the issue.
2007-04-27 02:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by Just my two cents... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is going through the same problems right now. We are now making half as much as we did last year and now he feels that he isn't providing for the family anymore.
I have stayed at home since 1994 because of a car accident and now we have 2 girls. Live really tight financially,don't spend any money that you don't have. He might be scared of losing you so he might be pushing you away.
2007-04-27 02:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by mamacow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't want to be helped. They need to think on their own and to find their own solutions. As a spouse all you need to do is to stand by him and let him know you're there, that everything will be alright and you will be there for him no matter what. Don't try to get things out of him as if talking about it will make him feel better, this is women stuff. I bet you, your worst arguments where when you were trying to get him to talk! Do your own thing and let him be for a while he will appreciate the space. Good luck
2007-04-27 02:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Share what you said with him. Another suggestion would be counseling. We all can go through stresses and it is hard to cope without sometimes lashing out at the ones we love most. Having a third party to speak with can help him get it out in the open, help you to understand, and give you the tools to be supportive and loving in the process.
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