Ok. I left my husband 7 months ago because his behaviour was getting out of control,i'm not claiming to be an angel, as a father and husband i expect certain things.
During that time he didn't know where i was but he remained in our house and we were communicating, i even thought that he was interested getting back together. Now i came back home,he left without an address but i found out that the house he found is where i used to live when i left him. He suddenly changed towards me, he is cold and always angry, acts mysteriously and avoid me and never calls or visit his kids. If i try to call and talk to him he says i don't respect him or his privacy. And also when he left our house after i came back, he intentionnally kept the double of my house key. This is confusing for me because he says he doesnt want to be with me anymore but he moved in somewhere where he knew he'd see me everyday and he has my house key ,which to me means he intends to come back at some point. wat do u think?
2007-04-27 00:47:54 · 10 answers · asked by Lady N 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What I ask myself is. "why did you come back"? Do you think that the reasons you originally left are resolved? Do you think that he feels as though you've really been honest about the, "not-claiming-to-be-an-angel", issues? Did you think his behavior had somehow really changed by your leaving? I'm going to guess that the answer to all of these questions is, "No".
It seems to me that shuffling back and forth between buildings, passing each other everyday, is a pretty thin 'thread' of contact; and that certainly doesn't give the two of you much ground for rebuilding your relationship. Although, I see real signs that both of you want that.
Holding onto the house key seems symbolic to me. Your home is where the two of you were an 'us'; where you conceived and raised children. It represents much more than a building and it's probably still jointly owned. In any event, the love that your home represents will always be jointly owned. Neither you or he can change that.
I have no idea whether he will come back. I do believe he wants to, and that he loves you. I'm also convinced that he doesn't believe you are able to love him and feels a lot of bitterness over his marriage. I think the real question here is whether you feel up to being the emotional 'head' of this relationship. Can you get in control of your own feelings? Can you make him feel safe and accepted again? Can you get past your own fears, and do you even want to put out the effort for this wonderful work?
2007-04-27 00:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Sultan 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is just playing immature games with you and is not ready to grow up. If he is avoiding you and your kids, you should realize that this is not the man you want to continue through life with. Why would you want your kids to feel about daddy avoiding them? First step you should take is to change your locks. Second, talk to a divorce lawyer. Make sure you get child support and spousal support if you are eligible. You asked since your hubby has a key, does he intend to come back. Sure, he intends to come back so he can control your life and it makes you feel good to have that small sense of hope, but if he wanted to work things out already he would have already came back even if he just wanted to spend time with the kids. I hope you make the right decisions and if not for yourself, at least do it for the kids.
2007-04-27 02:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by Mom of Three 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would do would be to have the locks changed because if he doesn't want to be with you he has no right to come into the house whenever he wants to. Second of all I would ask him what his intentions are with the marriage if he doesn't want to be married to you anymore I would file for divorce. Even if you still love him if he doesn't have the same feelings then you should not put your life on hold for him. Also you need to think about the kids, they need stability, they need to know whether he is going to live with you and them or if he is going to be a week-end dad, or a never show up dad. I wouldn't talk bad about him in front of the kids though because they will need to have their own opinions of him, just assure them that he loves them he is just having some issues that he needs to resolve. I want to wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. But in the end it is probably going to be left up to you to take care of you and your kids. So just give them lots and lots of hugs and kisses and let them know they are the most important people in your life. Good luck.
2007-04-27 01:08:25 · answer #3 · answered by sncandrsj 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know better what went on. In your heart you do. It doesn't matter where he moved. People do stupid things. About the Keys I would change the locks. Sit down and have a nice loving chat with him. Ask him to go to a councillor with you. It is best to seek counsel in this case. If he doesn’t you go and figure out what you want and go from there. Do Not Wait. If you choice is to move on then, MOVE ON.
2007-04-27 01:03:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jose M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the first place, why has he still got your key? It sounds like he has a personality problem, manic depressive. I would be careful if I were you. There are kids present?
Seek an attorney and then ask for child support, then definetly the key back or, get new ones made and, if he insists a restraining order.
2007-04-27 00:53:22 · answer #5 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There was a reason you left him, and why would you want to have him back? Move on and change your locks. It dosen't sound like he wants you but he dosen't want anyone else to have you, my advice find someone else. Good luck
2007-04-27 00:58:25 · answer #6 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im confused too. If he doesnt want you dont force things love, get on with life.
2007-04-27 00:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your locks and get a lawyer.
2007-04-27 00:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by Miki S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
change the locks
2007-04-27 01:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him space and in the meantime - get on with your own life... his loss....
2007-04-27 00:51:17 · answer #10 · answered by copycat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋