My brother...?

Question

My brother is 14, and I am 17.

My parents were divorced just after he was born. Now we live with my Mother.

My mum has always pushed me to do my best in school, at times to hard. But it's made me a stronger person and definitly more mature.

My brother doesn't have this pressure. He goes to school, gets into trouble, wastes peoples time and never gets into trouble for it!

At home he is so rude. He never listens to my mum. He doesn't do his share around the house either.


Lately it's just become too much! He purposly gets my puppy hyperactive and she is begining to bite a lot more.

I tell him to stop it but he doesn't listen.

My Mum never does anything to try and control him.

I can see him dropping out of school with no qulifications and having no other skills.

I also feel like I am parenting him a lot of the time.

Please, any suggestion would be great!?

My father lives in Australia. We didn't see him again untill I was 8 or 9. We see him for a week maybe once a year. He has no real responsibilities except finatial.

I will be moving out in 9months. I'm still at school so how can I be expected to support myself?

Answer 1

Unfortunately, your mom is not parenting him and he has not been given guidelines and boundaries like you were given. For some reason your mother has backed down from her responsibilities and challenges. Where is your father in this situation? Has he not remained involved in your lives?

This is not your problem to solve, although I do understand how it affects you. Set the boundaries with your brother regarding your puppy and perhaps try talking to your mom and dad about your brother's behaviors and your concerns. But remain true to yourself. Keep up your grades and look to your future.

Good luck and I hope it works out.

Answer 2

Would it be possible for your brother, to spend his high school years with his father in Australia? Does your brother have a surrogate father ? Is there a male in the family, an uncle or a grandfather, that he respects, and can give him some attention?

He needs this male in his life as a role model, and to set boundaries on his conduct. Yes, a mother can impose rules and a code of conduct on a young man. However, it will not have the same impact, as the presence of a father, or surrogate father, leading an exemplary life.

Answer 3

I know that story all too well! The only thing you can do is encourage him. He wont listen to you until he's older and tired of being a screw up. You can also try kinda relating to him so he feels like you respect and understand him... that might make him respect and listen to you. But it's really important to encourage him and try not to be judgmental. As for your puppy, try doing some intense training so she wont give into your brother when he tries to rile her up and she wont be so mouthy. If all else fails... punch him in the throat LoL Just kidding

Answer 4

I can understand your concern for your brother but you are his sister not his mother.You can still love him and not like the things he is doing.In the long run he will pay dearly for his irresponsible ways. Your mom needs to try to set some rules for him and hold him accountable.I don't know if anyone else mentioned it but your puppy is not going to remain a puppy forever. You are correct that it is not right to tease the puppy to the point of biting.This pup may become aggressive and hurt someone,possobly your brother.

Answer 5

It seems, Wabby, that your mum is tired, mentally as well as physically. And there is the fact that she cared about your upbringing, as a girl, now a young woman, and because of her failed marriage, doesn't care about the boy who will become another of those damned men.
I may be wrong in this, but it looks like it, so I think you might bring it to her attention, and get some help. If she doesn't react, or bites you, go to your local doctor anyway for advice as to where to go next.

Answer 6

Sounds like the average 14 year old boy to me. You also sound like the average 17 year old girl.
Don't worry too much. Getting irritated by your younger brother and thinking he is an idiot is all par for the course. In years to come you will probably tease him about it. When he is more mature he will be embarrassed about it.

xxR

Answer 7

I think you need to say something to your mum or dad or both. tell them your sick of it and your a kid and not a parent and it is their job to be parents to him not a friend or else he will as you said end up without qualifications. just talk to them and make sure your point gets across.

Answer 8

in one years time you'll be out of the whole situation anyway, going to college etc. so if i were you just live with it for the time being

Answer 9

be kind with him , he will be alright , just imagine if you were him what help he could have done to you , human errors are not long standing they do change soon

Answer 10

move out