2007-04-26 22:49:52 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's a wide open question.
What normally changes is the way you interact. It is normally a little stressful as you both learn to adjust to the way you both operate. Hopefully things change for the better as you work to get to know each other properly.
You shouldn't be trying to change your partner or your partner you. You fell in love with someone, why would you want to change them into something else that you may not love. Doesn't work anyway, only causes resentment.
2007-04-26 22:52:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ideally, no.
What I mean is, people really shouldn't GET married BEFORE they've laid the "foundation" for the relationship.
They should take the time needed to get to know one another by discussing all the important issues; sex, children, careers, money, religion, politics, philosophy, etc.
If they don't do this, they're leaving themselves wide open for a "rude awakening" early in the marriage.
They also need to determine if both parties have a sufficient sense of compromise, sympathy and forgiveness, or they'll never survive the first real disagreement, much less be able to sort out the important stuff from the trivial stuff.
The only thing that should "change" is that their relationship would only become more loving.
2007-04-27 08:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that certainly depends on what changes you mean.
If the relationship is between two people that are in love and making a strong commitment to be together for the rest of their lives, because they cannot live without eachother. In love naturally, which will only make it simple to make eachother happy, then things will only change for the better and you will have a wonderful life.
If the relationship is because you think your in love and you want to get married, because you just like the word, or because your pregnant, or for financial reasons, etc. Well, things will certainly change. That will be the beginning of your divorce.
2007-04-27 06:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, both of you ought to think about giving up those other boyfriends/girlfriends, a least, I guess?
But in seriousness...
Life is about change.
We never stand still -- and marriage is one step on the way during our 70 years or so of personal development.
Entering into a committed relationship -- means (hopefully) a fuller and more satisfying life. BUT inevitably the process of 'growing together' will necessitate changes to be made by both parties.
Both you and your partner can -- obviously -- NOT continue to live just as you did as single agents. BUT equally -- neither partner should be expected to be the 'only one' who makes all the compromises and all the changes.
Growing together in a successful relationship requires give-and-take on both parts...and hence 'change' is also an inevitable part of this process.
2007-04-27 05:56:57 · answer #4 · answered by helmut cheez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody changes as they mature.I've been with my husband for over 22 years, married for almost 17 now.We are two very different people compared to how we were when we first got married.It's no bad thing.You adjust without realising it sometimes.For a marriage to work, you need to keep working at it.The odd argument is normal too.Anybody that says they never argue with their partner......well....come on.We all do it if we are honest.
I think the main piece of advice I'd offer to any couple, married or not, is not to take each other for granted.My husband has been great support through my illness.It's changed us both, we tend to be a lot kinder to each other now.
2007-04-27 06:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by CMH 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they do, and all for the BETTER. With the commitment comes a desire to make sure things work out well in the relationship, so you both really learn to communicate better - to realize the differences between how men and women handle things, and to adjust and compromise. A person cannot be selfish anymore, and that's actually a really wonderful thing, because giving is so much more fulfilling than taking.
The list is endless, but it is all for the good....
2007-04-27 12:20:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it will whether people accept it or not and as long as one is unwilling to compromise then it will change for the worse. I'm used to being alone and it was quite a shock to me the way my partner did things and vice versa but we got over it and after 3 yrs of marriage we are still going through changes but i will not change it for the world.
2007-04-27 07:21:31 · answer #7 · answered by cross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel in a way yeah coz uve got 2 be committed 2 this guy,but im not goin 2 scare u but all the marriges ive known so far have ended up on a divorce paper,my mums mate been with her bf 4 10 years but when they got married it lasted 2 weeks then everything got destroyed ull av 2 be really careful just think what ur up against.
wel good luck in the future x
2007-04-27 06:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by xxashtonxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, you have to merge your lives. The things that you do will affect your partner as much as they affect you, and vise versa. That will mean that you will argue occasionally when you disagree. It will also mean that you and your spouse will get aggravated with each other sometimes because you are in the same house all of the time.
The really good thing is that, because of this, your love will grow strong. Every time you have a problem and resolve it together, it will make your bond to each other stronger.
2007-04-27 05:57:33 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. i'm married and not many things in our lives have changed.
2007-04-27 05:52:19 · answer #10 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋