My partner who i have lived with for two years just wont discuss things. We never argue, we just have long silences. If i try to bring things up he wont discuss them and just goes in a huff and wont talk to me for days!. I feel it is emotional punishment. If god forbide i try to talk to him in the car - twice he has got out of the car and walked off.
At times i have been sitting on my bed, head in hands obviously distressed and he will walk into the room, get something and walk back out again.
I feel he cannot consider my feelings, cant reach out to me and will never attempt to resolve problems. i feel like he has no feelings and that i could walk out tomorrow and he would hold the door open for me - in fact he actually did that.
he says he has got feelings but just cant show them - so where does that leave me? I feel lonely and dont even try talking to him about my problems now.
I can disagree with him or not agree to go somewhre or he also goes in a huff. He is 47 years old!
2007-04-26 20:33:29 · 6 answers · asked by cottontail 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh dear.......it can be so frustrating cant it.
When ive had this problem before, ive written a letter to my partner (no not gay..hahahaha) and then they can read it when they want in their own time and when they feel comfortable with replying, they can do so again in their own time. I dont know why some men find it hard to discuss things openly, but Ive had great success with writing in the past.
I think its important to exchange feelings....and to encourage your partner to reveal how he feels. Also, I find writing very therapeutic for myself. It helps me to explore what exactly are my feelings and why I have them.
try not to be critical of him, just explain how his actions make you feel and welcome his honesty on how he feels about you and what you do.
Perhaps he feels he cant be honest with you. I have always thought that you need to be brutally honest with your partner, but that just my opinion. You may both have to accept that youre going to hear things that neither of you will like......but its a situation of 'no pain...no gain'.
Anyway, give it a go..what have you to lose?
Good luck and I hope you get some response.
2007-04-28 01:08:03 · answer #1 · answered by hollyb20 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are You gay? Maybe He's tired of being gay. When You said, " Partner" that's what I Assumed. He's In Emotional
Confinement. He Needs A Self Esteem Boost Like An
Actual Woman For A Change. He's Not Going to Confront
you with his problems you need to confront Him with his
Problems. He ment what he said about his feelings. In His
Mind he's in the corner covered by darkness and a dull
void. You Need to get out of there. he Doesn't Love you
Like Before anymore.
2007-04-26 20:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by jenny_ortega_luvz_u 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are answering your own question. Do you really look forward to the prospect of spending the rest of your life with this guy? How about the next ten minutes? He obviously has a problem with intimacy, and with dealing with difficult issues. Your relationship has already demonstrated his inability to deal with issues. So, tell him that either he gets help (i.e., counseling, therapy, either individual or couples) or you're out of there. Unless you really enjoy the feeling of being lonely. Good luck here.
2007-04-26 20:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
intresting, but very common in most men. it all depends on the mind set of your partner and yes he does have feeling but he could have different issues in his mind that he feels you might be incapeable of resolving. if you love him, only you can find a way to understand him better and eventually you could find a way to connect with him, which would make your life worth living for. trick of the game is "patience" . gud luck
2007-04-26 20:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by romeo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i imagine you've a authentic issue. that is not that you're unattractive- that is mutually with your husband. In my experience, adult males act like this for any type of causes: they are not emotionally available. they prefer having affairs, and are having one always you're married. they are using sex to regulate you, to interrupt your self-esteem, or to be recommend. they are strange and do not opt to "grimy" their spouse. they have a low sex stress or have erection/ejaculation issues. He needs to push you into having affairs that he can "blame" you for or initiate fights with you for regardless of reason. etc., etc., etc. you do not say how your relationship is except the porn issue. that he's or develop into extra heavily into porn is a foul signal, in case you inquire from me. something unrealistic might want to be happening in his thoughts, besides the indisputable fact that that is demanding to understand why he's doing this. you've tried counseling, yet he would not communicate. you've tried speaking on my own, yet he treats you want a baby or puppy. you may want to bypass to counseling through your self; you may want to renounce your self to ravenous for sex; you may want to initiate having affairs; or you may want to divorce him and get a guy which could not "damaged" by some skill. that is fairly as a lot as you.
2016-12-04 22:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you don't talk nearly as much as you write and if you have been which is why he's not talking to you, tell him u'll cut it short
2007-04-26 20:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by Reporter_Boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋