Is this fair?

Question

I earn a really low wage. So low in fact that I can not quite afford to pay just my basic living cost (rent, utilities, food).

I have a child from a previous relationship. A child that I love and adore and would do anything for.

The CSA want to take a quater of my wages. This will leave me unable to pay my rent. I will become homeless. I don't live in an expensive place. I live in the cheapest place I could find.

At the same time my ex has decided that she no longer wants to let me see my daughter and no solicitors I can find will take on a legal aid case like this because it will take too much time and they get paid per job and I obviously cant afford to pay for one if I can't even afford my rent.

I'm in a total losing situation, with no one to offer me help.

Answer 1

Please ignore some of the fat headed remarks in here!
I fully understand the situation you are in.
You really do need to get some professional advise on her stopping you from seeing the child.
You should perhaps consider getting a different better paid job or taking on another job.
You could also try a website called families need fathers as they will help guide you on your rights as to seeing your child.
Could you not move in with a friend or family to cut down your costs? Or maybe take in a lodger?
I wish you luck.

Answer 2

It does seem unfair, what I'd like to know is how well off financially your ex is? There again every man has a financial responsibility to provide for a child, although this seems rediculously high, If other Fathers (not you) hadn't tried to dodge paying, this unreliable system need not have been implemented in the first place, seems like you and others in a similar situation are paying the price for their indifference. There is always an appeal proccess but the CSA being the disaster of a system that it is, it would probably take forever. Have you looked on line for any free advice services for single Dads, I searched "maintainance advise for single Dads", "access advice" and "single Dads", there appear to be links there that might be of use, maybe advice on both problems. Have you been to citizens advice? They more than likely have access to some sort of register of Solicitors that do legal aid cases, after all that's what they're there for! I'm shocked that no one is interested they don't normally refuse work, probably making their money out of all these injury claims people are making these days. Don't lose heart you will find one after all everyone has a right to legal representation, that's why the legal aid system was started, in the first place. Don't forget she can't stop you seeing your child, the child's welfare is the most important thing in the eyes of the court. Well good luck with it all sorry couldn't be more help!

Answer 3

My brother is in the same situation. I feel for you and I wish nasty broads like that wouldn't beat up good dads. The only advice I can give is keep the fight and don't give up. How about working as a waiter, you don't have to report all the tips and atleast that will be some money that you can keep. Another thing is also, try going to college. You get more help from the geverment if u are in school. Atleast that would help with the bills some.
I wish you the best of luck and I pray that it will get better for you!

Answer 4

Go to citizen advice and give up your job thats what a lot of dads do in this situation when they are put in a situation like yours. the csa is not real they always seem to target the people like you and never get the ones that can afford to pay. If they do take your money they will still loose because they will put you in a situation where you can not survive and they still wont get anything

Answer 5

I am sorry that you are in this position. Child support and visitation are separate and your ex has no right to stop you from seeing the child. You do need to think about getting a better job or a 2nd job because you did make the child and if 25% of your income will make you unable to pay your rent then that is not enough of a job even if you did not have a child support obligation.

Answer 6

First of all, courts don't award or deny custody based on finances. You can make a personal appearance in court and explain your financial situation, with supporting pay stubs, and the court will not deny your visitation rights because you are poor. However, if you are in a relationship now, and your partner has an income, it is possible the court will order you to pay more money because you have an alternate source of income. Keep that in mind when you appear in court. And, if your ex is in a relationship with someone who has more money, the court will take that into consideration as well. Having said all that, I support you in any attempts to put yourself in a better financial position.

Answer 7

you can always ask for a rate reduction as long as you have proof of your wages and living expenses. that's what they do here in the US. you can also request visitation rights b/c you are paying child support so it's your right to see your child. the only other option is giving up your parental rights and then you wouldn't be liable for child support since she won't let you see the child anyway and then send what you can afford but the downside is that you wouldn't have a relationship w/your daughter. so i would continue to look for someone who can help you. in the states they have legal aid lawyers. (lawyers or work for free or reduced fees bsed on income) see if you can find them where you are. i'm going to assume you'r in england b/c you call them solicitors. anyway i hope it works out for you. why can't women see the only ones who get hurt are the children.

Answer 8

I am sorry about the trouble that you are presently facing. The only option I can think of to come out of the crisis is that you get another job, which gives you decent salary so that you can hire attorney to defend you. You can also speak to your ex wife not to be that harsh and avoid you from meeting your daughter. It is best if you both compromise.

God bless you.

Answer 9

omg I'm so sorry
that so sucks the system is completely f*cked
i wish i could help you but im just a 19 yr old girl with a big heart and tiny microscopic topics. maybe you should petiton the court to rethink what they are doing. and you ex (no offense) is being an a-hole that is not fair at all for not to see your daughter she need to appreciate the fact that you want to around your child. heck i don't even know my father because he didn't want to be around.
ask your fam and friends for help

Answer 10

Man i'm sorry for your situation but i do admire your spirit. Guess the only thing i can help you is by saying: your ex's cold-bloody blooded!!