Well you see, my boyfriend and I recently broke up. We're together for 4 years! We have on son and another on the way! We've been through thick and thin together! But I'm a jealous person and he is too but he takes it to a violent stage! He just got out to jail April 8th for DV and went back the 14th! He was threating me and scaring our son! He has an anger problem.And I told him to leave but he wouldn't. I litarlly had to run from him! Someone called the cops and he was taken! I haven't talk to him since!
I love him soo much and I know he loves me too!! What can i say we got tough love! But I know our kids don't need to see any of that! I know we could probably work it out if we talked but I'm fed up with this s**t!! I love him but i think it's time for me to let got! But since I've been with him for 4 years it's difficult for me to let go!!!! I miss him! When I think about me and our kids growing older without him it breaks me heart! HOW DO I LET GO? Please give a some advice THANX
2007-04-26 17:09:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl, do NOT call him or get back with him whatever you do. If it is violent and he has been arrested for it, he is not going to stop, you are not going to work it out by talking. He is who he is and let him go. It know it is hard because you love him and have been with him for so long but you need to love yourself and your kids more. You need to get out and stay out for good, if you go back, next time this happens, you might not get out alive, then where will your kids be. Your kids will be left without a mother that loves them and that could have been there for them and watched them grow old, get married and have their own kids. Do the right thing for you and your kids and stay out. If he tried to contact you do answer the phone, better yet get a new number and have it unlisted. Try to move where he can't find you, your kids don't need to be around him at all either, he could do the same thing to them when he gets mad. He custady of them and don't let him ever see them again.
I know you can do it, be strong.
2007-04-26 17:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Garrison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny that is not love. Love does not hurt!!!! Have a friend come over and pack up his stuff. Get it out of your house. Change the Locke's on the doors. Have the police on speed dial. If you see so much as a hair on his head call the police. So many women and children are dead today because the mother didn't get help. If you can't get him to stay away run do not walk to the nearest abuse shelter. You should do that any way to get the help you need.
2007-04-27 00:20:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This probably isn't what you want to hear but you just have to do it. Your kids do not need to grow up around someone like that. He could kill you or your babies. If he sticks around what kind of example is he setting for your kids...they will grow up to be the same way and then another family will go through what you are going through now. Do it for your children. There are amazing men out there, you just have to find them. It takes time and your not going to be able to let go right away but you can walk away from this right now. What good is he doing you in jail all the time anyway? You must be supporting your kids and him...thats not good, he isn't worth ruining your life!!
2007-04-27 00:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by not telling you!!! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
RUN!@!!!!!!!!!!! So what if u & the kids grow old without him. U & the kids will be better without him. Your kids dont need to see that s**t. Why would u put your kids through that. Its been 4 yrs. when do u think it will get better? After how many black eyes, after how many bruises, after how many scrapes? My parents stayed together for us kids & i always tell my mom that she shouldnt have stayed for as long as she did. us kids saw & heard way toooo much. Do u want your son to grow up & talk down to u becuz "daddy does it" do u want your son to grow up thinking that it is ok to hit girls? Let go girl. u can find someone so much better.
2007-04-27 00:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by medinams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can make it easier to let go if you are able to surround yourself with people that will be there to help you out and care about you and through that you may find someone that will become (eventually) a replacement for the love you lost. Another route may be to see if you can get him to understand the pain he's putting you through by using the children. A man loves his girl but once the knowledge that he's hurting the future of the kids filters through it may straighten him out from fear of losing them and you. Try to get him to promise you he'll get help with his anger for the children's sake and yours.
2007-04-27 00:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by gwolfsoun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey whats wrong with you? He gets violent? and to your child?!! Grow up and leave this looser. You need counseling to find out why you think you need to be in an abusive relationship. It is dangerous to be in this relationship and you could loose your children if the police think your home is a danger. Get your life together for those kids sake, get help and move on! You and especially your kids deserve better!!!!
2007-04-27 00:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by bighelp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister is going through a nasty divorce. She has four kids and they were married for 7 years. Ask yourself what it is that you love about him. Also if he is violent with you in any way he does not love you. I know it hurts, but that is what it took for my sister to let go. I'm sorry for your pain. Do what is best for your kids. If you are not here to take care of them who will be? You KNOW what would happen if you stay. You also KNOW what it is you need to do. Be courageous, and best wishes.
2007-04-27 00:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by sam_shellybenitez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh... I'm sorry to hear this. I just broke up with my boyfriend too. I do my best to keep my brains busy, but it's really tough. I love him dearly, but I have a bit of hope that one day I'll meet someone that will fit me great, and would be happy again.
Good luck!
2007-04-27 00:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lilly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to find something that you like to do to take your mind off of him. Many times if we do some volunteer work or something for others it really helps to take the focus off of our own problems. When you see what problems other people have and that they are much worse than ours, you will begin to see that things are not so bad for you as you thought they were.
Best Wishes.
2007-04-27 00:17:53 · answer #9 · answered by Fade To Black 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well think of it like this that tough love could leave your kids without a mom. so when you think about it which is worst living with out a dad or living with a dad that hurt you mom and took her away. soory for being so blunt but you need it. you deserve someone who will love and respect you, without the tough love
2007-04-27 00:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by jazzylust 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋