My Husband and I have been married for 1 year. He owes his ex-wife $1,000.00 (court ordered) a month for child support. They have 50/50 custody, and we honestly have them more than their mom does. For the last several years he has been paying $1320.00 a month ($519 comes out of his check auto. for her car payment, and he writes her a $400.00 check 2x a month, when he gets paid.) Finally he has realized that OUR bills need more attention and has told her that he can't just GIVE her an additional $320.00 a month. Here is my problem... He has already paid the car (519) and written her a check for $400.00...so all he owes her for this month is $81.00. Well, he doesn't want to just give her the 81 he wants to give her $240.00 (half of what he'll owe her monthly, in additiion to the car payment). Am I wrong for getting upset about this? I don't understand why he just wants to give her money. We need it for OUR bills, the girls live here too! Any suggestions?
2007-04-26 14:27:02 · 14 answers · asked by Amers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why exactly r u paying so much extra? does ur husband owe that much in back child support? why r u making HER car payment? this whole things seems a little off and i am not sure u r telling the whole story..... so it is very hard to tellu my opinion....
2007-04-26 14:32:19 · answer #1 · answered by want a princess baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always agree that the money is for the children but unfortunately there are some women out there that think it is for their own personal use. If he has 50/50 custody then why are you paying so much child support? Does his ex have a new partner or job? Does she get paid any FTB? If she does & he has custody 50/50 then he should be getting 1/2 of that. Why in the hell is he paying her car payment? That is a seperate issue & should not be taken out of his account unless this was the agreement & then he should only be paying her the difference of $481.00 no more. I'd be seeking further legal advice. If you can prove that you have the children a certain number of days each year then you will find that he won't be needing to pay so much or you would be entitled to FTB unless of course your husband is earing a pretty good wage. My ex every year tells Child Support that he will be earning only a small amount of money & every year he seems to earn more & every year they believe him. Glad to see him with all his gold jewellery & his trips over seas. Guess what I've got something that money will never buy and that's the 2 beautiful children we had. I don't want his money and I've come out with the better deal.
2007-04-26 20:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by Vera K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing at this moment. Just a little different cause mine has been ordered to pay more than what we can live off of. Some paychecks are only 175.00 by the time we get it cause he doesn't have overtime on a check every three paychecks so it really sucks plus he has to pay insurance for the kids and she doesn't work so I feel your pain. I had to tell mine that something needs to be done cause we need to be able to pay our bills also. Plus we buy all the things for the kids when they are with us so it is like we are buying things twice. I don't know if you have any plans of having kids but I do and my thought was that I don't want my kids suffering. So really all you can do is either try to go for custody or just accept it and find a way to work around it. Hopefully he will understand how it is bothering you. He shouldn't be paying more than what is needed. Maybe you could suggest to have him put any extra money you have a month in a saving account for them.
Good luck
2007-04-26 14:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by nwhite323 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is something your child wants to do and it could be helpful for them, why don't you pay the provider of services directly half the amount. If the mom is willing to pay 1/2, then everyone wins. Also, ask the child to participate in paying --extra chores, grades, etc. Don't stop the child from growing because money is an issue. If you both lived together, all your money would go to your kids anyway. It's not going to your ex-wife's shopping habit??? Then go for it. Don't fight about it....make it a group effort if you can. Believe me, though, it's tough. We pay for everything and have custody and have reduced child support, but I want the kids to know that they come first. Our egos and pride and who is right or wrong really doesnt' matter.
2016-05-19 22:01:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that you have put up with this for a year. Is he married to her or you???
Why does he feel as though he "owes" her anything?
When my husband left his ex, he paid child support, he also paid her rent and let her use his truck for 3 months... just long enough for her to get on her feet.
Their comes a time where people need to take care of themselves. Be accountable...
2007-04-26 14:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This time is such a mess, why not get on track next month? Have her car payment come out as usual, then write her a $241 check each payday. That equals $1001.00 per month. If your hubby won't go for that, ask him why. That is her legal share of YOUR (you and your husbands) money, why does he feel the need to pay her more?
2007-04-26 14:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by handyd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now isn't this something you should have thought about before marrying someone with children and an ex? Sit him down and talk to him. Why is he paying her car note for her? If it is not court ordered then I would pitch a fit until he stops however, he could be trying to keep a good relationship with her for the sake of their children which is kind of necessary.
2007-04-26 14:34:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHA....He's been doing this for years because he should be. You are just ticked off that another woman has a hold on him. This man has another family he is obligated to besides you as his current wife. Like it or not. He was married to her and had children with her so therefore he's going to provide for her and the kids as well. This is what happens when you marry a man that leaves one family and tries to start another. You better hope he doesn't do the same to you.
2007-04-26 15:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he and his ex-wife share custody 50/50...and that means she gets the kids one week, he gets the kids the next....then really and truly he should not have to be paying her child support to begin with as he pays for them the exact amount of time she pays for them. If they have JOINT custody, that is totally different. I had joint custody with my ex-husband, but retained "primary physical" custody. And why in the hell is he making car payments for his ex-wife? Because she is his EX, that should have stopped the day the divorce papers were signed. I would see if he is willing to go to an attorney to have the support remodified. Good luck.
2007-04-26 20:33:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well have you tried sitting down and discussing it with the both of them and possible coming to some kind of agreement? surely it would be in a nice and civilized way, and no you are not wrong especially if your bills and everything are kind of suffering you just have to put your foot down if he pays his support that should be all and the rest is for you guys he just needs to be reminded that he still has responsibilities at home as well
2007-04-26 14:39:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋