Every time I try to motivate my husband to do his part for our future (get a job or do what he says he's going to do) he threatens to leave me.I moved to a new city w/ lots of jobs and opportunity with my husband 6 weeks ago. He hasn't been looking but found a part-time temporary under-the-table through a friend. I told him tonight that it's find and I appreciate the cash but why isn't he looking for a permanent real job anymore. Of course, he threatens to leave me again and this time adds that I should be happy he's helping ME out. No, he doesn't have savings or a trust fund that help with living. So, I told him the last time that I don't deserve a husband that is always threatening to leave me. I'm guessing that if I don't make good on it being the last time, it'll continue and I'll be stuck insecure and feeling used (again). So, how long am I supposed to put up with it? Is there a better way (besides having ltalks about how unfair it is to always threaten divorce)?
2007-04-26 14:24:41 · 10 answers · asked by LaMorena 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
next time he threatens to leave, show him the door..........you shouldn't be putting up with that......don't threaten anything....either decide you want to live like this or show him the door and go get a divorce....
2007-04-26 14:28:34 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a real winner there.
Get the clue. He doesn't feel committed to the marriage and he is looking for a way out. You are doing the work.
How long should you put up with it? well it has been six weeks correct? Put your foot down now.
There is no talking with the blok. Next threat say....see ya. And find a new job and man where ever you like. How much abuse do you deserve. In my eye....none.
So the decision is clear. Just decide what the day and hour is going to be.
2007-04-26 21:48:08 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait until he threatens you again. This time flip the table and you threaten him. An under the table paying job is good until you find something more stable but it is not a permanent solution. If he wants to leave let him do so.
2007-04-26 21:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by meriq27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are much more sensitive than he is. The differences between people in marriage are amazing to me. We just don't know how to marry.
I know only one couple that are good together. They love each other and support each other. I should ask if they always were like that. You're dealing with very basic things. He is threatening the security you expect and need so that you function well. You are probably thinking about children and later periods in your life and wondering what kind of security you are going to get from him. You seem to notice there is no future vision in him.
Your saying to him that he is threatening your security and he is not listening. Like an alcoholic gets violent when you threaten his supply of booze your husband reacts to your efforts to get him employed. This is not the level of communication you will be happy with because you are able to talk about feelings of which he is not in touch with or able to share.
Good luck with it. You are not alone.
2007-04-26 21:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Ron H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey wake up and smell the coffee!!! Your husband is a selfish lazy pig, all he wants to do his sit on his *** while you take care of everything else, Hell I'd be glad if his dumb *** left,don't know why he married you, what did he think he was going to get a free ride,next time he says he's going to leave,show him the damn door,tell him f*ck him and the damn horse he rode in on!!!, what a jerk,don't let him treat you like a doormat,find someone who loves and respects you,this fool does not respect you,be strong you can make it without him,good luck:)
2007-04-26 21:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my (now ex-) husband threatened to leave for the zillionth time, I'd had enough, and told him not to let the door hit him in the..behind...on his way out.
Like yours, he didn't actually contribute to supporting himself, let alone the family. He actually didn't leave either. After another couple of years of nonsense, I had enough and left him.
I'm probably one of the few women whose income went up after the divorce..not because of money from him, but because I wasn't supporting him anymore.
So, the answer is, you'll stay in it until you've decided you've had enough.
2007-04-26 21:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I have no clue why you are still with this guy. Any guy who told me that I was lucky to have him and threatened me with divorce, I'd simply say, "Hey, the door's open---- why are you still here."
If you are a neat lady, there are just tooo many guys out there for you to waste your youth on a dead-beat. My god, hon, what ARE you thinking???? Hey, next time he threatenes to leave, put his stuff outside, and say adios. Have the locks changed, file, and be free, hon.... to find a guy who deserves you.
2007-04-26 21:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is the last time...simply say.....
DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YA, WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YA!
What do you have to loose? You would be a lot happier without the dead weight of him not helping maintain the house.
2007-04-26 22:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him leave! Don't be stuck in an no end situation!
Hasta La Vista, baby!
2007-04-26 21:40:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it doesn't sound like you have much to lose by him leaving!!! been there, he's a self centered mooch!! kick his sorry a s s to the curb... if you are taking care of the two of you now you can OBVIOUSLY take care of yourself.. please please please don't put up with his crap.. USELESS, NO FUTURE.... BETTER MEN OUT THERE.---- RESPECT YOURSELF PLEASE.
2007-04-26 21:32:50 · answer #10 · answered by sopranob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋