How can one become more emotionally collective?

Question

I truly believe that a person can change if he tried hard enough. My problem is appearing too weak as a personality in a social environment. I'm too friendly and feel taunted by upper-hand gaining social situations. For example: if I bump my car into somebody on the street and he came out screaming that he's gonna kick my ***, my gut will probably explode rather then I kick his *** instead.

How can I be a more collective and respectable person who's not afraid of standing his ground?

Answer 1

You are emotionally more mature than many people. Think about it. This guy gets out screaming, carrying on, etc. Your calmness and silence shows a certain strength. You may feel like your gut is going to explode, that is so natural and healthy. This other guy feels like his head is going to explode, with rage...this happens too often in our society. We need people who are not so reactive.

Gather your strength in knowing that you are not a meat head, reactive kind of guy. You think first and calmly take the action necessary.

When you see something that has to be done, step up to the plate. Do this in little ways. Be more proactive when you see a neighbor who needs help, or out and about shopping, etc. Be aware of times when you might be helpful. This will get you used to stepping forward, being helpful, taking charge.

Also, something like "Toastmasters" encourages you to stand up in front of people and give little speeches...this is a real courage builder!!! Force yourself to do it...it will change your whole life! Shop around for the right group of Toastmasters...some are better than others.

Take advantage of times when you can speak up, help out. You will lose some of your fear of standing your ground.

Answer 2

Probably, your greatest fear is making a fool of yourself, or fear of losing the argument. But if you don't try - you lost it already by giving up. Yeah, it's less noticeable like this, so you feel less like a fool, but you will be left to feel like dirt instead. Maybe you take yoursewlf way too seriously, or think that everyone's looking at you all the time? Realize what your actual fear is, you can change then.