Why didn't anyone ever tell me the truth about pregnancy?

Question

Why is it kept such a secret all that goes on during pregnancy?
Why do people only mention the "glow" of pregnant women and the beautiful life inside them. Why not mention everything else? No one told it'd be like having your period, the flu, and the worst migraine headache of your life while running a 9 month marathon. No one even told me that morning sickness means throwing up and lasts 24/7 for months straight. I feel so tricked. I feel like this all a conspiracy. My mom had 5 kids and neglected to tell me any of the bad stuff until it was too late. Is the truth about pregnancy just one big conspiracy???

Answer 1

Yes and no. First off, its different for every woman. I had 4 children and only got morning sickness with the 3rd one (my boy) but it was ALL DAY for 7 1/2 months (wich i found out later was VERY BAD and if you have morning sickness over 4 1/2 months you need to tell your doctor). My other 3 were a breeze with no pains or morning sickness or any side effects except very tired for the first three and last month. So some women only experience the glow and the ones who experience the worst of it dont want to scare you so bad you never have children. Dont worry each pregnancy is different and your next one probably wont be as bad. But dont quote me on that. ;)

Answer 2

I'm really sorry you've had such a hard time. All pregnancies are different. I never had morning sickness really; I did (do) get headaches a lot though. Try a warm or cold compress, depending on what kind of headache (warm and moist is great for sinuses). If you're having cramps, you might want to discuss that with your doctor.

To me it sounds like you're still in your first trimester; maybe I'm wrong. But the morning sickness and a lot of the other stuff you're talking about (including your general negative emotions) will probably diminish as the pregnancy goes on. If it doesn't, really, talk to your doctor. Your mom had five of you kids; it has to get better, right? :)

It sounds like you should probably be on the lookout for postpartum depression when you have your baby, too. I'm not trying to to imply anything; you just sound overwhelmed now, and it might carry over. So make sure once you have the baby that you talk to your doctor if you're just miserable, or if the "baby blues" persist.

Best wishes.

PS It's not true that there's nothing fun about pregnancy!! When Baby starts moving around, poking his little knees and elbows out, and when you get to see him on an ultrasound, you start to realize you're part of a miracle. Hang in there!

Answer 3

One big conspiracy all right. And as soon as you give birth you'll have to pledge an oath to continue to hide the truth from others.

Just kidding.

Obviously its something that's different for everyone. And I know that its not always a cakewalk--and it really can suck. For every woman who thinks there was nothing better in life than being pregnant, there's one who thinks that there's nothing worse in life. Most fall in the middle, and usually the high points help balance the low. There's no other feeling like a baby kicking inside of you, and its what I miss most about being pregnant. Actually its the only thing I miss about it. I wish I had some great insight that would make it all better, but in the end I can only pass on the old wisdom that "this too shall pass."

Answer 4

Have you never been around a pregnant person? No one sat me down and "told" me what to expect but I have friends and relatives that have children and I saw for myself what they went through. My mom never talked about her pregnancies either but their generation doesn't always talk about anything "female".

I'm sorry you are so miserable. The only thing I can do for the migraines...true genuine migraines not just headaches...is drink caffeine. I don't even drink caffeine when I am NOT pregnant and never thought I would during my pregnancy but when compared to prescription medications or spending multiple days hiding in a dark room in pain...what's one serving of caffeine? For the nausea...believe it or not the more you snack the less sick you will feel. Don't wait for meal times. Eat something small every hour and even have a cracker every now and then between. Also, if you can afford it going to a good holistic massage therapist is very helpful. Not only for the physical discomforts but for the psychological chaos as well.

Answer 5

I did all kinds of research before I got pregnant, had all kinds of books, etc. So I was prepared for the worst. I have had such an easy time, no morning sickness or anything. Maybe you should talk to the doctor about your annoying symptoms. Just remember you are growing a life inside you. Remember all the positive things about the pregnancy.

Answer 6

If you are sick 24/7 then you should talk to your Dr.
I have twins and was never that sick..
The "glow" that you speak of is a true scientific thing..


"The pregnancy glow actually exists and has a biological basis. In pregnancy, blood volume increases by almost 50 percent. This increased blood volume causes the cheeks of women to take on a reddish blush. Pregnancy hormones also cause increased secretions from the oil glands, and this leaves the face nice and shiny. The end result...a beautiful glow."

Try to enjoy it as much as you can... I know that it is hard but the end result will be a precious baby.
I had my twin boys at 29weeks and it was devastating to have them so early. Try to keep that precious baby in your belly as long as you can.

Answer 7

Not everyone experiences all of the bad stuff... you really sound like your copping all of it you poor thing. My first pregnancy was a dream! I had no bad problems, no back pain, hardly threw up, no kicks in the ribs or on my bladder... this time i have every single symptom in the book and i feel miserable... even my mum can't get over how different it is to my first pregnancy (and they are both boys so can't use gender as a reason) but you get through it cause in the end you have a beautiful baby that will sleep for about 24 hours straight after the birth and keep you awake for 24 weeks after that! Honestly, its worth it in the end... there's no secret, maybe your mum didn't have as bad experience as you are, hang in there... old wives tale suggests really feral pregnancy means a girl... not in my case... good luck... relax....(as much as you can)

Answer 8

It's a case of be careful what you wish for because it might come true.

I mean, many of us women really WANT to have children. And then when it happens, it's almost like life was so much better before.

The question is this: is it worth it? Only you can answer this for yourself.

A good attitude during pregnancy helps. Also watch what you eat and drink. Every bit a food creates is own "disturbance" on your system. If you';re not feeling so well, you might want to have a serious look at your diet. Cut out all the sugars (they cause headaches, if you're pregnant or not), drink lots of water, try to exercise at least a bit (prenatal yoga, walking).

I take it you're in the first trimester? You'll probably be fine soon.
Also... (and this is really superficial!): get some cute maternity clothes. That'll lift your spirits!

Answer 9

Wow... I'm sorry... I think some people are just really lucky and don't have any problems. Sounds like this is far from the case with you. Hang in there! No matter how bad the pregnancy you always hear that it was worth it... I know you probably didn't mean for any of what you said to be funny, but I couldn't help but laugh. I have not had any kids yet and I am terrified as it is when I think about it. So I will definitelty not condsider it any time soon!!

Answer 10

ok first of all CALM DOWN lol there is no secrets or conspiracy LMAO.. all pregnancies are different.. some people feel completely normal ( like me ) during pregnancy.. i have never had morniing sickness or any of that stuff u mentioned.. so its most likely ur mom didnt experience any of this.. some women are just unlucky and have terrible pregnancys with every symptom in the book.. no one was hiding anything from u.. and when people are preggo they dont want to talk about the bad parts of it!! they want to enjoy the good parts..