Am I Wong for wanting to help my mother?

Question

me and my husband got in a big fight today over the fact of doing things for my mom who is verry tight on money right now and he seems to flip out anytime I want to do things for her such as take he out to dinner and such( she seprated from my father now and is going though a hard time) anyways we got in a fight about it saying that he doesent do things for his mom so he should not have to do things for my mom. I told him he is welcome to do things for his mom. then after fighting about this for awaile I sad fine let have a money limet like spend no more then 20 bucks(witch is verry little) on her a month and he fliped out on me. saying that just becuse my dad is not here for her that he does not have to take the place of him. witch im just doing it to be kind me and my mom had a ruff time growing up. then he say well his mom doesent have money eather. Anyways am I wong for wanting to do stuff for my mother? and how do I deal with this?

Answer 1

I hope I don't get censored either, but he kind of sounds like the son of a motherless goat. How could someone who loved you enough to want to marry you be so insensitive to a child caring for a mother, especially when she is so vulnerable? I am so sorry that you have to go through this, I know it is very difficult for you, and I know that we don't know all the details, I feel for you. I hope that he calms down and that your mother is able to take care of herself and be independent. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I am really shocked by your husbands attitude towards you helping your mom. I can only imagine what you must be feeling. But bottom line here is that husbands come with no promises on how long they will stay. Mom's are there until the end. Husbands can be replaced Mom's can't.

Take some advice from someone who no longer has her mother. Do everything you can with her while she is here. When she is gone you can't imagine the emptiness you will feel.Live and love like there is no tomorrow!

Answer 3

Tell that cheap a*s that's the only mother you have and ever going to have . You do know that if you don't help your mom then when she dies its going to haunt you the rest of your life . My ex was like that and a few times i didn't help and it eats at me every time i think about her God rest her and makes me hate my ex that much more but now my daughter try to bad mouth her mom and i put a stop to it and tell her the same thing that's the only mother you have so have some respect she didn't leave you out in the cold.

Answer 4

I'm going to try and put this as delicately as I can, and pray that I don't get reported for saying this. Here goes:

Tell that sorry Son of Monkey's Butt that if he wants to treat HIS mom like a piece of garbage, FINE. But I'd be damned if he told me that my mom would have to suffer.

He needs to find himself a heart.

What would he do if he was in HER situation? You tell that self-righteous, holier-than-thou, egotistical, son of a b*tch to cough up some money, or he's going to lose more than just $20 a month, he's gonna be paying alimony to you for the next two decades.

If he cannot pull that wad of cash out of his high and mighty hole, then dump him, sister. Dump his sorry butt TODAY! Show him what's it's like to have to go through a separation or a divorce. Betcha he'd be begging his mommy for a jar of peanut butter every chance he got.

Do a Loraina Bobbit on his butt, girl!

Okay, sorry. That's just how I see it.

Dang, that felt pretty good! You should try it sometime.

Answer 5

Lady, I think you must help yr mother in what ever way you can. I can remember when my father passed away, how much I sufferd since I did not do my best for him while he was alive. You will really feel that once they are gone from this world. Most parents sacrifice all their happiness to bring the kids up. If you cant take care of them once they are old and feeble, we shouldnt be called humans. Plesae do whatever to help yr mother. Explain this to yr husband as well. Ask him his children do this to him once he is old, how he would feel?

Answer 6

This should be a wake up call. I pity you. What's $20?!!! Ask him this-if you died and your mom was struggling to get her life back together would you not want me to spend $20 a month, take her to dinner and be supportive?! If the DH says no then leave-permanently!

Answer 7

You are totally right in doing something for her. As long as it is not taking food away from your kids, then you should continue to be good to her, and if you can swing a few more dollars, you should try.
Dr. Margaret Meade said "A society is judged by the way they treat their elders"

Answer 8

no your not wrong for wanting to help your mother out, but i can see where he is coming from. he seems to be wanting his own life away from the parents and is mad that you are bringing her into the mix. by gving her money and taking her to dinner.
don't compromise your relationship with your mother though. he will just have to get over it.

Answer 9

tell your husband that your mother is a very important entity in your life. if he is that much of a jerk about this he seems to be a very selfish person. perhaps he is jealous of your relationship with her. reassure him that he is your first love but your mother needs you, both of you, and that you intend to be there for her. i did this with my boyfriend, moved 2 hours away from him to be nearer to her...it took him 2 months and he was right there, proposed to me, and we have been married for three years. jealousy plays a big part in relationships. let him know you love him, but she "needs" you right now, and she needs him too. i love my mother and so does my husband.

Answer 10

Try to come to a compromise with your husband. All I can say to you is that you only have one mom and once she is gone there will only regret. Talk to your husband maybe both of you can reach a compromise.