I found out that he has been a go going thing for over one and a half year. Recently, she found out that he has been cheating on her too! and decided to sent me this ... after she found out that he has been replying ad on criag's list. What should I do?
I am 48 yrs old and mother of 2 , ages 17 and 18.
He wrote,
Hi, I'm a WM, looking for someone special. Someone with a little (or big) something extra. Preferably TV TS, but a passable CD could get me going too. I have a strong sex drive so i'm always horny so write me and maybe we can play!
2007-04-26 13:01:04 · 45 answers · asked by Bionicgirlz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Bionicgirlz
What dose the gender of the person with whom he is cheating have to do with the fact that he is cheating
STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM. You have no idea what this man is catching…
So get tested.
What you decide to do about you husband’s inability to keep it in his pants, and the fact that we both know he will do it again, is really up to you and weather or not you are ready to forgive or to walk.
Have you thought of trying a god marriage counselor, Before you speak to a divorce lawyer?
Hugs,
PennyAnn
2007-04-29 17:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is the worst thing I have ever heard! The first thing I would do is get the kids a counselor, they will need it when the sh1t hits the fan!! Then you need to make a list and compile evidence and more evidence so you can bury this @sswhole. It is a good thing the children are older because this is not something you explain to a younger child. The fact that he lived a lie his whole life with you is reprehensible. He should be happy I am not the judge. I would give him a few years behind bars, at the best. I feel for you and your children. This guy does not deserve you and should fall off the face of the earth. Remember never to say anything negative about him to your children. Let them make up their own mind. He is their father and deserves to be seen differently in their eyes.
Get out, Take him to the cleaners, and keep your head high.
The best revenge is success. You don't need this guy love.
2007-05-03 15:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by flateach33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea what those acronyms stand for but it's clear your husband needs therapy with you if he wants to stay in the marriage. I say this because he seems to imply in his ad that he would like to be having male sex from this transgendered person too. Any homosexual sex is dangerous and can carry disease. You should be aware of this right now and be tested yourself.
Because there are children involved, I think the counseling is worth the time. Otherwise, he has carefully thought about another life and gone behind your back and done something adulterous and perverted to boot. This makes it an automatic 'divorce him' in my book but there's love in a family with children being the victims of this kind of turmoil. So at least make the effort.
2007-05-02 02:16:41 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Deep down, I think you know what you should do. It is obvious that your husband has a fetish for transgendered women. He has been living a double life for a year and a half. He could have been honest with you( the mother of his children and married for so long) and told you what he was going through. The probability is he probably went in to marriage with these thoughts and feelings. Some men prefer transgendered or trans sexuals because they feel in some way they are not gay, because of the feminine detail of the trans sexual. I feel for you. You and your husband have a lot of talking to do. For one he has a lot of explaining. And remember you were the one who was deceived. But, I think truly you should leave him. It is hard enough when a man cheats with a woman, but the ultimate blow is when he cheats with a man.
2007-04-26 13:20:04 · answer #4 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you immediately start divorce proceedings, go to the docs and have an HIV test done without any more waiting, and sue for child support...if the kids are going to college, make sure he legally is required to pay for it. Sue for alimony if you are not working, and get some job training immediately if you need it. IF you are not working, alimony doesn't last forever..so move fast and wisely...but get the hiv testing done first, on your way back from the lawyer that he will have to pay for. Oh, and by the way, print out a copy of that Craig's listing for your lawyer's files. Make sure it is your husbands by calling or writing from another computer, arrange a date as a TV, and film the entire sequence to back up what you are saying. In fact, this would be a very good one for Cheaters on TV..they are always looking for the unusual...go for it!
2007-04-26 13:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to get off this computer and file for divorce...it is obvious he is not happy so why should you suffer....?
You need to learn to enjoy life without him and then maybe the right one will come along some day...U....R...not over the hill yet!
Life is too short to be treated like that. I divorced my husband of 13 yrs and was scared to death but am happier now than I have ever been....have a 10 yr old daughter who is happier too....because mom is happier...your kids are grown the decision should be easy for u!!!
6 years ago I left him and never looked back....oh sure he regrets it but I am happy alone...sure I date but don't think I will be getting married again unless the man comes pretty darn close to walking on water!
2007-05-03 14:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by Angel girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to make the decision whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is going to be presenting problems like this which could affect so many different aspects of your marriage. For one, you have your two children, ages 17 and 18 that you have to model morals and values. Any decisions you make will affect the developmental stages of their own future doings. I suggest you go to a family therapist so that all of these issues can be brought up front for all of you, since you are not the only one being affected by all of this.
2007-05-03 08:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by maestra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think you should do? The first thing you should do is start using condom with this guy and I say Guy because his not your husband sleeping around with men. Then you should get tested.... I hope you know what you should do from that point. Your children are old enough to support you and your husband both.
Best Wishes to you with this.
2007-05-03 08:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by 518 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually encourage people to stay in their marriage no matter what. However, in THIS situation I would tell you that if it were me, I would be out of there in a NY minute. Cheating is grounds for a divorce, but cheating with another man (no matter how you look at it) are two sins rolled into one. I could never be with a man that was sexual in ANY way with another man. My skin would crawl. That is my opinion.
2007-04-26 13:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who or what he cheated with is not the issue, messed up Hell Ya but not the issue. A cheater is a cheater! Get out now you deserve better than that. Your kids are old enough to understand and you owe it to them not to let yourself be disrespected like that. I am a bi man and I am married to a wonderful woman who knows all about it. But when we got to dating I committed to her and have not been unfaithful in any way. You are worth the same respect, you don't have to share.
2007-05-02 09:53:19 · answer #10 · answered by akjacefinch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋