i have been with my bf for 5 yrs now and his exwife(who he has a child with)is still as bitter/jealous as ever of me.now he wants to get married but i don't know if i can take it she makes my life hell.to make matters worse he will not stand up for me in fear of hurting his child and she nows this.
2007-04-26 12:59:41 · 7 answers · asked by cassygooyu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh girl! I say RUN! Just kidding, I was in your situation too and I wanted to RUN!!! But I confronted her myself, cuz he wouldn't, fearing that she would punish him by not seeing the kid. However, he does have legal rights as a father obviously, and she can not do that. The biggest thing is that he needs to stand by your side and stand up to her, if he dosen't do it then you need to do it! If she threatens him about the child then seek legal council. Don't let her intimidate you!
2007-04-26 13:17:50 · answer #1 · answered by Gold Digger 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in exact same situation. Been married for four years with two step daughters ages 9 and 11. It will not ever go away so be sure that you love him and you are prepared. Mostly I have to remenber that he loves me...not her. He could have stayed with her if he wanted too.He won't defend you to her becasue he is only trying to be a good dad and avoid confrontation in front of his kids. (bravo for him!!!) Realize right now that you are and always will be second in his life. Period. If you can't handle that... get out now. Sometimes I think my husband isn't the greatest husband on earth but he is the world's best dad and i'm proud to be married to someone like that! There are days when it really stinks and sometimes his ex even calls him crying about "their baby" blah blah blah...He knows she is crazy..He just listens so she won't take her frustrations out on his kids( and these kind of jealous women will put the kids in the middle and /or use them for leverage for the rest of their lives).
I guess what it boils down to is this... are you willing to give up the traditional parts of marriage where you husand is all protective of you and gets all excited when you get pregnant and then you live happily ever after with him and the kids you make together? If you marry this guy...you will have to give up that fabtasy. Can you live life knowing that he will have contact with this other chic for life? And that there is a history there? a child? He had all of his first experiences with someone else...first baby...first wedding...it won't be as new or as exciting to him as it may be to you and that can be disappointing.
You have to love his kid or you are asking for heartache down the road. It takes a big person to get into this kind of thing, but it also takes a big person to protect themselves against the lifetime worth of drama by getting out if you aren't prepared to handle this. Maybe you can ask for more time to think about it.....if he loves you he can wait...........just be advised it is very hard.
If you love this guy and you aren't worried about anything other than the drama she causes...just remember...you ahev what she wants. Who cares how often they talk or what sh*t she tries to start. If you act liek the adult and either ignore her or tell her calmly that you aren't interested in fighting with her...it will make her look like a complete idiot in front of everyone (including her kids) everytime and the whole while you have never raised your voice or said anything mean! It's the perfect way to p*ss her off more without stooping to her level AND it keeps your man happy!! You have the upper hand if you know how to play it right!!
2007-04-26 20:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People shouldn't get involved with someone with children. Imagine if the two of you have a child. That will really hurt his 5 year old who has already suffered enough because he or she has been growing up without their dad in the home. Some things can't be fixed. Of course his ex is bitter...how would you feel if he left you with a little baby? It won't get better. Sorry!
2007-04-26 20:10:17 · answer #3 · answered by QuantumB 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
lol...lol...lol.... Get over it girl... i hate to bust your bubble but you are just a speck of dust to her { the wife } She could care less weather you live or die . She would not lower herself to your level compareing herself to YOU...... So I highly doubt she is jealous of someone that only sees things through tunnel vision..... She is concerned for her child as YOU have nothing to do w/ that decision. Her and her ex was there long before YOU>>>> get over it . Decisions need to be made & untill you r a wife YOU r a spec of dust..... ha ha ha .. At that point.... you might have some say but the ex is a ex for a reason . Shes probably glad she can stop hateing him then so the trade off is..... you have just WON door # 1 the LOSER>>> be happy .... Do you believe in KARMA?.
2007-04-26 20:22:19 · answer #4 · answered by lilly l 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
MY XHUSBAND NEVER STOOD UP FOR ME AND THAT'S WHY I LEFT HIM. IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT OR ACCEPT IT, THEN MOVE ON.
2007-04-26 20:06:11 · answer #5 · answered by -K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave him, are you kidding, do you need that in your life?
2007-04-26 20:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
please run.....................................
2007-04-26 20:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by kim 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋