Eventually....
Smashing plates in my student house,
Breaking things I can live without,
Tearing up work thats taken me hours,
Just for a few moments of pleasure.
Slipping, sliding, falling, crying,
The girl inside of me's grown up,
From wearing polo necks in summer,
To posing naked for a lover.
The days of a care free life are gone,
Im left alone to struggle on,
But it's like my mother said to me,
Things will work out eventually
2007-04-26 11:07:57 · 18 answers · asked by Lindsay T 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
9, it was good
2007-04-26 11:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by suzie. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it... I'd give it an 8+
If I might point out two things...
(1) The 4th line of the first stanza is too long, it breaks the rhythm of the poem.
(2) the word "a" in the first line of the last stanza also breaks the rhythm and isn't really necessary.
2007-04-26 18:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by bumsteadowl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6/10
2007-04-26 18:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by Antoine J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No expert here but seems like a productive outlet for some
anger. It's more the fact to me you were creative than the content. Pretty nicely done is my rate.
*careful tossing things then u have to clean up after :)))
2007-04-26 18:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mele Kai 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disturbing 3 out of 5.
2007-04-26 18:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
good rhyming but vulgar! 2 out of 5
2007-04-26 18:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by StylishDude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very good but very dramatic!
live is what you make it
& It's only just begun with all your achievements ahead of you
things to be proud of
proud things to write about to fill a book
2007-04-26 18:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 cool
2007-04-26 18:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by marsh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a great a poem keep up the good work. you might become a poet (if you want to)
2007-04-26 18:11:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 out of 5!!!!
2007-04-26 18:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by cowsrulecanada 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7.5 you can do better then that :o) this was a nice try now give us a better one. Come on be a sport.
Lets have another one since you are aspiring to be a poet.
Best of luck !
2007-04-26 18:15:06 · answer #11 · answered by Soul Doctor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋