Do you believe this is true?

Question

totallylost put this at the end of her answer to me....do you agree?
they say you don't know someone till you get married, that's true...but you REALLY don't them till you try to divorce them! that's when you really see them for what they are....
.....my husband's actions make it hard to believe he ever loved me....told to get out but he'll miss kids, bitter custody fight out of spite, told I have mental problems and he wouldn't want me back unless I get help....and I thought I married a nice guy...LOL

the 2nd part is about me and he was abusive..emotionally mostly but a few physical grabs that hurt emotionally more....I left because house was in isolated retirement community....

NO cheating........but he says I was running around because I had male friends

presleyg.....did you not see? left because of ABUSE.....

the I left part was because someone answered he can't make me leave he has to be the one to go.....

mental problems "other way around" everyone thinks that...Thanks but it was just suppose to be about the statement it's turned into a question about me...LOL

Answer 1

That is very true, you thought you knew the person who said I love you, then they turn on you and make it out to all your fault. It takes two to make a marriage and two to break it. One party may do more than the other to break it, but never is it just one person's fault. When love turns to hate they become vicious and will do anything to make everyone think the worst of you. I hate to hear someone say they have mental problems, usually it is the other way around. Just be glad he showed his true color with you, to bad it had to be this way.

Answer 2

I believe this is true to . I think it's appalling how nasty some of these divorces get, especially in Hollywood, look at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I thought they were really in love when they were married, but I was floored when I found out that Nick was going after Jessica's money, so that he could live in the lifestyle to which he was " accustomed" , How can he say he loved her and then do her like that, he even wanted the money that he didn't help her get , the money she made before they married,he wanted to get more money than her in the end!!! over half of her fortune!!!! How is that a loving man!!!!( luckily it didn't happen) and what about all these women who want everything that their ex has when they get divorced. How can you try to leave a man you claimed to love with nothing,how can one person be so selfish? These divorces get so nasty you can't even tell that these people loved each other. I don't really get it either.

Answer 3

Yes Divorce brings out the worst in people, but if you think about it ..... it is almost necessary to bring about the finality of the situation. If we are at our best then there would not be as much reason for the divorce.
Think about how teenagers go through an angry stage with their parents, it is part of the separation process. Does that mean this is always who they are? No It is just at that moment.
There is an old saying that "as intense the fire , so must be the hose to put it out." , or for "every emotion there is a equal but opposite emotion".
Some of the emotions are similar in dealing with death, and it is the death of a relationship. Anger, denial, bargaining, etc and finally acceptance. How long each person stays in each is specific to the person. Sometimes one or each get stuck in a phase such as anger and can not move past it. This can be the most destructive, to themselves and to the other person.
From experience : I spent too long being angry ( and related behaviors) , and lost too much time and energy, and risked losing the parts of myself I liked .

Answer 4

People get REALLY ugly in divorces. There is really a thin line between love and hate, both very passionate. People lash out like that because they are hurt, and yes it is very hard to believe that they ever loved you, they probably did not, they probably do not even know what love is. I am so sorry for your heartache.

BTW...Did you cheat on him, because he sounds REALLY bitter.

Sounds like you are much better off without that nutcase, but the "male friends" thing can always lead to problems, remember that for future relationships, best that opposite sex friends (really any friends) be mutual, that removes the weirdness factor. Good luck in you bright new life.

Answer 5

Take some time out. Speak to a counselor. There needs to be more details but if he feels you need help, ask yourself why. What caused the split? You got kids? Could it be possible you got a bit of post natal depression? I have been on the receiving end of that and it is unbearable. How much time have you been apart now? Are things still raw? Take time out to breath. Don't refuse him access to the children and don't get the kids involved at all. Seems like you both need space.

Answer 6

There is a good and evil in all of us . I'm sure that one time in your life somebody thought you where being evil also . Just because he is your husband doesn't mean his anger will not turn on you . You do not control his thoughts you just understand them more then a strangers thoughts.

In most cases we are all nice guys or woman until you anger us that's only being human . You know you can only beat a dog so much until it turns and bites you . That's the way your husband feels .

Answer 7

well, i think that if you have to get divorced then you didn't know them as well as you thought that you did.
people change when they're getting married, the same when they're getting a divorce. when people are in the middle of a divorce, you'll see a vulnerable side of them that you most likely wouldn't have ever seen while dating them of in marriage, whether they act hateful, greedy or try to be so completely caring that it's almost disgusting.

Answer 8

ha my tale is humorous, i began out courting my boyfriend in Jan 07 and had no theory something approximately his relatives. So 3 months afterward my frist holiday to his living house, i got here across he became into loaded. To coach to those that think of that females basically like rich adult males, i havent permit him pay for something. We pay for our very own tickets and a million/2 of each and every meal. christmas is a w/e and we made a value shrink. so as a results of fact i like him and coulndt care much less no remember if he became into broke as hell or richer than he's now, I would desire to declare there continues to be love out ther =]

Answer 9

I know this is going to sound strange but...consider yourself lucky. Lucky because the only thing worse than the wasted time you've invested on this dude so far, is MORE time wasted because you didn't know any better. Now you do know. Time to chalk it up as a learning experience and find yourself. Really get to know yourself, what you want, what you need, and then...GO GET IT!

Answer 10

I agree with some of it. The more you go through with someone and the more different situations you see them in, you will get to know all of their sides.