Am I being selfish and jealous? Be honest.We been together for one year.I met his son about 8 months ago.We get along great, joking cutting up with one another.Never had any problems.Also he and his dad get along great as well, they talk every night on the phone.We don't get him but about once a month because we live 300 miles away.The ex-wife has known about me for about 5 months.I told my b/f to tell his son hello 1 day while they were on the phone and she called back and said tell that bit*h to not speak to my son....this was when she first found out about me.She has been giving us trouble ever since then.Aside from that I met her for the first time a month ago & it wasn't pretty, she does not like me.I try to be nice though & I am great to their son.But the thing is since then his son has been calling my b/f everyday with problems that have occured between him and his mom & my b/f keeps having to call her to fix the problem.This only started since I met his mom.What's going on?
2007-04-26 10:02:58 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jealousy. She could be causing problems, knowing that your bf will call her to fix things. This in turn causes a stress for you guys. Plus how can he hang out and do stuff with you when he's on the phone with her.
He can't not be there for his son, so you're going to have to wait it through, and continue trying to be nice to her. I know it's going to be hard but... Eventually she will get tired of playing games and leave you guys alone.
Good Luck!
2007-04-26 10:09:27 · answer #1 · answered by Super Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru the same thing that you are going thru right now. I met my b/f and my ex-husband tried to cause problems between us, thinking that if he got enough he would just leave. It's one of those things like, "if I can't have him, then no one else can either" or "if I'm miserable, I'll make everyone else miserable too." The only person getting hurt in the process is the child and she either doesn't realize it or just doesn't care. I hope for everyones sake that someone can explain this to her and make her realize that it is over between them and for her to realize that her child has a really great father, that wants to spend time with him and that he has moved on. It sounds like you have done a lot of for this little boy. You can never take the place of a birth mother but you can do everything else. It is hard but eventually it will work out and if not, there is always the court system. I had to get a restraining order for awhile until they learned that nothing was going to change and that my b/f and I are doing everything that is necessary for the kids. I tell my children all the time, you might not have what you want but you do have everything that you need and I feel that they will respect that more in the future than giving them everything.
2007-04-26 17:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by harleyman_lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend's ex-wife cannot handle the fact that her ex-husband is happy with another woman.
And unfortunately she is bringing her own son, who is really still just a kid, into her mess! It's so sad. It sounds as though she is handling this so immaturely.
I really don't know what you can do to resolve this situation, because it sounds as though she is irrational and won't listen to reason. If I were you, I'd try to understand where she is coming from and how she is feeling, and then try to be the adult here. Never say anything bad about the boy's mother in front of him. Try and be nice to her even if she's abusive towards you. Stay calm when she throws her tantrums. This way, her childishness is further emphasised by your maturity. Hope this helps answer your question......
2007-04-26 17:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by Stan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stear clear of her, your relationship is between you and your B.F. You're not all one big happy family so don't get too involved. Being all chummy with his kid won't secure you a place in his future. She's known him a long time & they have memories together. She is not jealous or threatened by you, rather you are of her, your posting here does speak volumes about your insecurity.She is the mother of his son and will always be--The best advice I can give you is just be the girlfriend, that is who you are. Do not try to trap this man or have stars in your eyes about a wedding, he will have other girlfriends and may have had before, & she knows this. You must be very young. Actually she does not 'have' to like you or approve of you. I am only being straight with you that boy's mother will be one of the biggest influences in his life, so do not talk negative about her to anyone.
2007-04-26 17:29:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy, the mom is very very insecure and jealous that he has found someone else and maybe she hasn't or still had feelings that she thought they might work out later on or something. Bottom line is all you can do is maintain your relationship with the son and your b/f. Give your b/f all the support he needs but it may come a time when you will have to tell your b/f he needs to set his foot down with the ex when it comes to you and if she can't be nice and cordial to you then don't bother calling or coming around and arrange neutral places to meet to exchange the son.
2007-04-26 17:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels threatened by you. Her ex-husband has found someone and she hasn't. You are also a threat to her relationship with her son.
A thirteen year old boy is at a difficult age and is acting out and may try to divide and conquer his parents to get his way. You don't know the day to day things that may be going on with this boy. She may feel threatened that the boy may ask to live with dad for awhile.
Sit down and talk to your boyfriend about this and then think about having a one on one talk with the ex and ease her fears that you are not replacing her.
This is a tough spot, if you plan on marrying this man someday the cards need to be on the table. The ex may still not like you, but be candid and don't fall into the trap of being spiteful.
Good luck.
2007-04-26 17:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a very hard place to be in for you. She is jealous of you having a relationship with her son, she is the one being selfish. Just keep on doing what you are doing by being a friend to the son and ignore her, if she keeps causing a problem you can have a court order put in place where she is not allowed to talk to you. It eventually will get better, just stick it out. remember its not his fault his mom is a difficult selfish woman. he may end up wanting to come live with his Dad if it keeps up. I lived through it and 7 yrs later she still hates me but i could care less, i have the greatest relationship with 2 kids who mean everything to me
2007-04-26 17:10:50 · answer #7 · answered by debbie v 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy, and this is just the beginning, beware of what you are doing cause if the relation finishes you will feel like stupid of being in all this nightmare, at the same time a separation will be for you a separation of 2 people, so think very well where are you going cause there is not a "solution" to this, this is the way it is and the way probably is going to be...
2007-04-26 17:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a nose is out of joint on her part because he has moved on to you. It is a jealousy problen and he more than likely doesn't have the heart to let go of things as the son is the "string that binds!" If you are having problems with it speak to your b/f as soon as possible in order to get some peace within yourself.
2007-04-26 17:12:15 · answer #9 · answered by mssheria2u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes jealous of you, and even more jealous that her ex has moved on and found someone better than her. Be above her, and not get involved with any of the family problems with the ex-wife. Be aware, though, if shes the type of lowlife who will try to hurt you in some way.
2007-04-26 17:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by britt b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋