I have a 19 year old daughter who lives with me. She came to live with me when she broke up with her boyfriend. She is 4 months pregnant. They've both cheated on each other. Her b/f lost his job and wants to break their lease and move in with us. Can anyone give me a good reason that I should let him move in "just until he can get a job and afford to get them a place on their own?" I don't know what would cause them to not to cheat on each other again and think that I would be risking a lot to let him move in with us. Help!
2007-04-26 08:27:15 · 25 answers · asked by kim_n_orlando 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
my eldest daughter has a baby & ives with her boyfriend now
we were in the same predicament as you 2 years ago & I refused to let the b/f stay. I still won't let him stay here now!, I go & pick up my daughter & grand daughter to stay, but won't have him near my house
2007-04-26 09:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by jean h 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I might say sure. As any person who left my mother or father's house to move in with her boyfriend at 16, i will inform you that you are most effective going to intent the each of you extra stress than wanted. My mum and dad weren't willing to let me transfer out, but it surely induced this kind of commotion that i could not stick with both of them. I received what i would like however i have learned a hell of lots about what "being a grown up" is like. However i finished excessive school, moved out into my possess condominium with my boyfriend, control my fees and preserve a job. I'm who i am considering that of it. And now my mom and dad and i get alongside better than we ever have before. If she is leaving are attempting not to make the mistakes my mom and dad and that i made i.E. Making her relocating out a poor thing. Let her understand that you just love her and that you are going to worry about her but that you simply trust that she is going to make the right selections for herself and her family. Empower her, but let her be aware of that you're going to perpetually be there if she needs her dad.
2016-08-11 05:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're daughter lives with you, now the BF wants to live with you and I'll guess the baby will live with you.
You are getting into a nest of snakes here. Who do you think will get bit?
It sounds like to me, and to be fair I don't know the people, they are immature and looking for a ride.
You'll wind up supporting all three for as long as they can string it out.
Does your daughter work, if not, why not? Her BF, and I assume the father has an apartment, why doesn't she live with him?
They have put you in a mess, and they are looking for you to pull them out. Do it once, and they'll keep coming back, I've seen it happen all too often. As long as you will clean up for them then they can do want they want.
Personally, I would not let the boy move in, it will only cause trouble for you.
2007-04-26 08:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by Fordman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No-because from personal experience, most of the time, he will get too comfortable. Unless you go with him physically to make sure that he is looking for a job(dressed like he wants to work, too...suit and tie and shoes that hold shine) and after that, taking him to the bank to deposit his check.
No. HELL no.
I love my man. Don't get me wrong. But my mother did him no favor by letting him move in. He got too comfortable and I won't go into all the detail-but no. This is a BAD BAD BAD idea. They wanna live together so bad, have them go into a shelter together. He lost his job? Doesn't he have some money saved to at least get an apartment? Is he too good for a job at Burger King or McDonald's(etc.) until he finds something better?? No. Definately not a good idea.
2007-04-26 11:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by MamiZorro2 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, absolutely not - never never.
If he is man enough to impregnate someone then he is most certainly man enough to get another job and pay for the place he already lives in. If he wants to play house, let him pay for the house he plays in - it sounds like he is looking for a free ride.
You do not owe him anything, not even a place to live. He is a big boy, let him figure it out. If he wants to move in with someone's relative he really should move in with one of his own.
Besides - if he cheated once what would make him stay faithful now and if your daughter also cheated then obviously they do not really care for one another.
Take care of your daughter and help her get on her feet, let the b/f figure it out for himself - doesn't he have a Mom of his own?
Good luck.
2007-04-26 10:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by PD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might say particular. As somebody who left my make certain's abode to go in together with her boyfriend at sixteen, i'm able to inform you which you're basically going to reason the the two considered one of you greater stress than mandatory. My mom and father weren't keen to enable me circulate out, even though it brought about this type of commotion that i could not stay with the two of them. I have been given what i want yet I even have found out a hell of plenty approximately what "being a grown up" is like. yet i ended severe college, moved out into my very own residence with my boyfriend, take care of my charges and shop a job. i'm who i'm because of fact of it. And now my mom and father and that i'm getting alongside greater helpful than we ever have earlier. If she is leaving attempt to not make the blunders my mom and father and that i made i.e. making her shifting out a destructive factor. enable her comprehend which you like her and which you will trouble approximately her yet which you have confidence that she will have the skill to make the main suitable judgements for herself and her family. Empower her, yet enable her comprehend which you will constantly be there if she needs her dad.
2016-10-30 09:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you helping your daughter by letting her move in with you, but I can't honestly give you a reason to help him out.
He's not your responsibility, and enabling him to not look for a job because he has a place to stay, will not make things any better.
I wouldn't do it if I were you, let him get out of this mess himself, and if your daughter gets all pissed off at you for not letting him move in, and threatens to leave or whatever, let her, they have to grow up at some point. They chose to have a baby, therefore, they have to grow up, and provide for their child.
You are right, you would be risking much more letting him stay with you than not.
Good Luck!!!
2007-04-26 08:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by phanti 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
DON'T LET HIM MOVE IN. It would be a big mistake to allow this young man to move in. One month may turn into five years of misery for you and your daughter. He is young and probably irresponsible. At this age, you can expect all sorts of drama between them. They both have a lot of growing up to do. Let him get his act together and find his own place. Where are his parents anyway
2007-04-26 08:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by bombastic 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think your right. Dont let him move it. It would cause too much Drama and really might affect her and the baby . ( too much drama caused me to lose my child becuase of the stress factor). The whole "just until he can get a job and afford to get them a place on their own?" is bs. they'll end up living with you until their 30! let them make their own mistakes! I do know its hard to do but in the end it will work out.
2007-04-26 08:33:41 · answer #9 · answered by ifferbiffer 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it is only going to cause more trouble by letting him move in. it is a nice gesture but i speak from experience when i say that it is not a good thing to do. chances are he will not get into a situation where they can move out. he will want to stay there as long as he can unless someone puts a foot up his butt and makes him do something. it is better to let things be. good luck.
2007-04-26 08:38:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋