what is wrong with me?

Question

I am considered to be a very loving person and I have a big heart. I make freinds very easily and am liked by most people. My problem is that I cannot be friends with myself. What I mean by this is that I hate myself. I am depressed and rarly ever feel good about who I am. It is more than just depression and low self esteem. My ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and we no longer speak. My girlfriend made me feel good about myself (somewhat). I know that it shouldnt be that way but it was. After breaking up I started working out at the gym pretty much everyday (running and weightlifting.) At first I starting feeling good but now I am more down than ever. I know I am a great person and people are lucky to have me in their lives. I feel like my purpose in life is to be miserable while helping others feel good. Its like I am cursed. Sometimes i wish that i was never born. There must be a way to not feel so crappy ALL the time. what can I do?

This is bad.. this has been affecting my life in every aspect.. my social life, my job.. etc.

Answer 1

I swear to you someone in our family had the same situation, go to your nearest Mental Health Center which will treat you according to your income. This is for the rest of your life, do it. You may need therapy, you may need meds. Just do it.

Answer 2

Stop looking to others to make you 'feel' happy.

Think for a moment. You say you have a gift of being a friend to others. This is great! Now, what is it that you give to these others that you are not giving to yourself.

You can be friends with you. You can love you. If you can do it for a stranger who has no vested interest in you, you most certainly can do it for you!

You ex-girlfriend is not/was not the key to your happiness. And, may I add, no other person is/was either. The gym, weighlifting - nothing is! There is a loving man living inside of you. He makes other people smile and want his company. Why is it so hard to treat him the same way?

How can you hate yourself and expect someone else to love you? Perhaps, that is one of or the reason she left? She sensed your self-hate?

You must see you as a vital, wonderful, worthwhile person. A man of great qualities who brings joy to others and deserves the same for himself. Not everyone can do that for another person. Start looking at yourself in a different light. Speak beautiful things to you. Tell you that you are a marvelous human being. Treat you the way you treat strangers who are lucky to have you in their lives.

Do you realize you admitted to everyone that "I know I am a great person". You have not lost all hope! You still see greatness in you; don't give it up. Hold on and you will come out of it.

I believe you will make a wonderful turn around as soon as you start talking to yourself in a positive manner. Just as soon as you begin to see you as the most important person in your world - not someone who is outside of you!

It may take a little time, but it will happen if you are committed to having an enjoyable life and, when you make that decision, you will find that one beautiful lady ready and waiting for the man I am sure you already are.

Give yourself the best chance. You're worth it!

Answer 3

I've always had problems with self esteem. I would be fine for awhile and then would start hating everything about me and felt there was no reason that I was here. My mind would play tricks on me. I would get depressed for a short time, but after awhile I would be able to tell myself how ridiculous I was being, especially considering there are tons of people that have alot more problems and still are able to keep a positive outlook. I know feeling like that at certain times may never go away,but getting closer to God has helped with that. While that may not be something everyone is ready for, it has helped me a great deal. One idea that I have for you is to get involved with volunteering. There are many things you can volunteer for, whether it be Habitat for Humanity, feeding the homeless, working at an animal shelter, or whatever makes you feel good. Volunteering makes most people feel that they have a greater purpose in life. It helps you to know that your helping others. The one thing you have to remember is it may take time, but keep telling yourself that YOU are worth it and YOU are loved. When those negative thoughts start creeping in, chase them away. Tell yourself over and over that you can get through it. Be strong, and maybe talking to a counselor wouldn't be a bad thing. Please don't get to a point of no return. From the stuff you stated it seems people love you and you wouldn't want to hurt them. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 4

i think a few months ago i could have written what you wrote here. here's something you can start with: make a list of all the positive things about you, such as that people like you easily, as you said. if you have trouble making the list, call a close friend or family member for help. once you have compiled this list of all the good things about you, look at it every morning when you wake up and every night before bed. when you think of new things, add them to the list.
you are a very important person, just like the rest of us! and it is important to love yourself, because only then can others love you in return. don't depend on other people to make you feel good about yourself, because as soon as that person leaves your life you're back to square one.
what are you good at doing? what are your hobbies? what kinds of things do you do to help others? these are all things to put on your list. what acheievements have you made (including very small ones)?
I also recommend reading 'the celestine prophecy' by james redfield. it will put a lot of how you feel about yourself into perscpective.
i hope this helps. take good care!!!!

Answer 5

I know this is going to sound strange, but get a dog. It will be someone who will love you for you, and give you all the love it has. It will bring you up, and will stay by your side forever. No questions asked. You will feel better just having that little dog in your life. A dog will never betray you, and it will be happy to see you when you come home. Try it. Remember, It is easy to fall into darkness, and infinitely harder to climb out. But keep looking up- there you will always see the light at the top.

Answer 6

i don't know if this helps but. i have a degree in psych. and honestly, i feel the exact way you feel. however, it is easier for me to help someone else then myself. i broke up with my ex oct 19th and he was the only one who made my life complete. i wish i hadn't but i did. my self esteem has always been a problem. to the point of full break down.

heres what i suggest. work out. even if you are thin or whatever. it naturally increases endorphins. also read alot. books that take your mind off things and books that help. dont be afraid to pick up a cheesy self help book. sometimes one sentence can change your perspective.

keep notes of when you feel good and when you feel bad. remember the things that made you happy before and see if they are still in your life. explore. explore what this world has to offer.

but the MOST important thing is to tell your mind to shut up and start liking who you are. it is as simple as just doing in. everyday find one new thing you loveeee about yourself. smile for no reason and soon you will find yourself happy. hope it works out.

-erin

Answer 7

concern for others and being there for them is great, but sometimes selfishness is completely normal and necessary for a healthy mind. focus a little more on yourself. i know that sounds wrong, but it can be a good thing. you're not just on this earth for other people, it's for you too. learn to balance that and don't carry the world on your shoulders, ya know? establish your identity outside your friends and family, just as you and for you! then continue being a good friend to others. if you've got the will to get better, it will happen in time. force yourself into it and be determined. you're worth it!

Answer 8

dont man just dont. go to the gym and work out that will make u feel good about your body. u could also pick out a new hobby or something to your mind off of..