if you HAVE to talk to someone that lies, never admits faults, is jealous of you, and just seems really "nuts"

Question

how do you communicate with them? this is my stepkids' mom and she totally does things for her own benefit and never once thinks of them. They don't live with her but yet she says we do everything wrong and accuses us of the dumbest things. We must communicate with her because the court says we do and because she's their mom. How do we ever get anything accomplished? She lives in another state.

Answer 1

You don't have to. Her ex does. Stay out of it.

Answer 2

When my ex was in Iraq, I sent him an email once a week telling how the girls were, what they were doing, and how their grades were. Other than that, I never said anything, and I only answered questions that were DIRECTLY related to the care of our girls. For instance, if she says, "Why did you do that? Why did you take them there? How are their grades?" Only answer the grade question. And just say, "So and so got an A in English, etc." Don't answer stupid questions on the phone either. Just act like you don't hear them. Yes, the kids are her business, but NOTHING else is. My husbands ex was the same way, even wanted to come to my house and see where the children slept. I told her HELL NO. We eventually stopped anwering the phone when she called, and only answered parts of the emails about the children as "yes", "no", or something like that. She loved drama and we didn't give it to her. It took about two years, but she FINALLY got the hint that we weren't going to do the word boxing game.

Answer 3

Just care about the children. Depending on how old the children are, you could explain exactly what you just wrote about their mother.

If they're too young to understand this, then just make sure they are never alone with her and make sure she knows that your in total control. Just laugh and say, okay whatever, when she accuses you of doing everything wrong & dumb.

If you prove that she's sick, you can get her a Restraining Order. Save those children.

Answer 4

You dont. Let her know that you will only communicate with her in writing. Let the machine answer her phone calls. "Three birds with one stone"
1. You dont HAVE to talk with her.
2. Her lies, etc are recorded, both verbally AND in writing.
3. Best of all, YOU will have won, with peace and calmness.
This will undoubtedly send her over the edge.
PLEASE, SAVE ALL verbal & written communication.

Answer 5

letter communication. noone said you have to make phone calls. or perhaps emails. this way if she is being ugly then you have it written down. and if she makes accusations, just ignore them. i cant imagine what she did to get the kids taken away from her. wow. but good luck with that.

Answer 6

Sounds like my ex wife . Just ignore her shes nuts

Answer 7

I wish i could help. Why don't you talk to a family therapists maybe they could give you some tips or find a book about it.

Answer 8

She's doing it to get at your goat. I see that it is working. LOL!
She even managed to get you to raise her kids. LOL!