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Question

Ok, here is the situation. My husband has a cow because I want to go out alone without him. I work a full time job and have 3 kids. I go out about once a week without him. Am I wrong in wanting to do this? I was caught talking to a guy about 2 years ago and he thinks I am screwing around on him. I also had some money hidden and he found it. I do tend to turn heads sometimes and he is insecure and jealous of that. He thinks I am going to find someone else. I need some advise here. What should I do and how should I handle this? I don't feel I have given him ANY reason to think that I am cheating on him.

Answer 1

I think that everyone should have a little time to themselves.....even married people. However, only if those married people are taking care of each other FIRST and spending quality time together FIRST. Going out with friends once a week seems like a lot. I'd say once or twice a month is enough. You say that you work full time and have 3 kids. Well, does he work full time and have 3 kids? Why would you hide money from him? You've already made him suspicious with that one. Like...what were you planning to do with the money? My advice is to put your family first and spend as much time as you possibly can with them. Friends are great to have and no doubt a blessing (good friends, that is) but, as I've already said, family comes first.

Answer 2

Hi,This is a very common problem females have. Anyone can do anything and tell "Am I wrong in wanting to do this? What is your problem, If you are noble, how can you get caught by a guy, that too for two long years. You seem to feel low about your husband as is having a cow. You are telling that "I do tend to turn heads sometimes" means that you usually avoid his words and not respect him and If a employed wife hides money and meeting a guy alone every week,naturally any husband will suspect. It is not women harrasment or ill-treatment, it is social status, As your husband suspects, why cant the society suspect you, even your children can suspect you. you cannot tell your children"Am I wrong in wanting to do this?.You are telling that you are not cheating your husband but you are meeting another person alone, why? why cant you stop it.You must stop it. If this is the case, even a brother will suspect his sister.Stop it immediately. Do 1) Stop meeting him. 2) Talk to your husband with respect. ( he is going to be with you till his life) 3) dont go alone, go out with husband, dont make any activities which creates suspection.
It is your life make strong decision immediately.
4) Be very sweet and loveable to your husband.

good luck.

Answer 3

First of all-you have given him reason to not TRUST you. You have lied to him about two BIG things-money and you said you were "caught" talking to a guy. Second-Girls night does not need to be that often. Once every two weeks or once a month should suffice. You are a grown woman with a family and need to be home more for that. How often does you husband go out without you? And does he know who you are going out with? Have him maybe go with you once to let him see what you are doing and that might help. But otherwise, I would take care of my responsibilities at home and spend more time with your husband-he may just need some quality time with his wife to not feel so insecure about losing you.

Answer 4

There isn't any reason when it comes to jealously. Over my married life my husband has been jealous at times and I never gave him any reason to doubt my commitment.

Let your husband know you need to have some time without him, but, I do not think this will fly with him. You have to be very honest about things or his mind will run rampant.

Go out with a relative or a girlfriend maybe this will make him more comfortable. I

I bet he goes out some without you. This is the double standard where men do what they want while the women are expected to take care of and stay home when he can't go out with you.

All I know is you must reassure him that you love him and you would not cheat on him. Tell him you will call to check with him while you are out. If this continues go to a marriage consular.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Does your husband go out alone, without you, that much? It seems a bit much, and maybe he is just wondering why you want to go out alone so much. How 'bout once or twice a month? I have four kids, and I would never consider going out that often, with or without my husband. We go out maybe twice a month, at the most. If you and your husband go out alone often, he has no right to complain. And, marriage is about compromise, so if he doesn't like you going out that often, how about reaching some other type of agreement?

Answer 6

he sems to be quite a narrow minded person, or maybe insecure or even POSSESIVE, well there are many ways to get rid of such situations like I did he he !!! I took a divorce. but well if you are sincere then u have one good way , its difficult but will give 100% results, sit with him, talk to him and try to conquer over two of his main fears 1) insecurity 2) Possesiveness, give him confidence about yourself, you can take care of his narrow mindedness anyhow then. ALL THE BEST

Answer 7

Come on get real you know your going out to look at the guys If you want to be on your own then get the big D. Why do you want to do that to the guy . Grow up.

Answer 8

I totally agree with Angela...once a month is enough. You could ask him to join one time...and then he can see for himself that you are not doing anything wrong..he will get bored and then won't have a problem when you do go out.

Answer 9

Don't go out alone as often. Make girls night out once a month instead of once a week!

Answer 10

To me, it would depend on where you're going. And how much time the TWO OF YOU spend together ALONE, during a week.